Bits and Pieces for the Weekend

Well, get ready for a wild and crazy post from me on Monday. I'm going out with the girls and usually I have a story or two to tell. Okay, they may not be all that exciting, but in the meantime you can catch up on my girls' nights out. Mostly because it won't take you that long. There aren't that many. So go here, here, here, and here. There's a huge gap since the last time we all got together. Well at least the last time I got together with them. I think they go out more than I do. But I'm perfectly okay with that.

Another place to visit during the weekend for some very exciting entertainment is little Jillian walking around blowing kisses while outside on the porch in her nightgown. You can visit here for that.

Also, I was in my car this morning and the DJ's were talking about the teacher in Texas who was fired for taking her class on a field trip to an art museum that happened to have a nude sculpture. It's completely infuriating that the parents are such idiots about the entire situation and even more infuriating that she would be fired because of those idiot parents. Any how, Lass was discussing this on her blog yesterday and I was just thinking about her when a song came on the radio that also made me think of her. The song is Put Your Records On, by Corrine Bailey Rae. I think it's the part about sapphires and faded jeans. I can so see Lass wearing the two combined. Anyway, every so often a song comes on the radio and it reminds me of one of my blogger friends. When I hear one I'll let you know. Actually, I have a few in mind, so on slow days you may be getting a song dedication.

Okay, now that I have kept you entertained you have to do the same for me. Have you seen any good movies lately, watched any good shows or been somewhere fun? Especially let me know about the shows. Now that fall is coming on I need something to do on those cold evenings. And I love watching shows on DVD. Brian and I are currently watching Nip/Tuck. It is so good. One of my favorites. It's sort of along the lines of Six Feet Under. I also love Grey's Anatomy, however I have only seen this show in spurts because Brian refuses to watch it on TV. He's a dork that way. Whatever! Every once in awhile I'm able to sneak in an episode.

Simple Pleasures

-A bottle of wine and Desperate Housewives.

-Hearing a song for the first time and loving it. Later realizing that it's on a CD you already own.

-Baby giggles.

-Having your new neighbor bring pound cake to your door, because they just happened to be baking.

-Buy a pizza crust from the store, throw some pizza toppings on it, and bake it for 20 minutes and having three little kids completely impressed that you made homemade pizza.

-Knowing they think that was the best pizza they've ever had.

-Not necessarily a good hair day, but an okay hair day.

-Realizing that working for "the man" isn't all that bad.

-Coming to the realization that you literally spend 24 hours with someone and still liking that someone.

Last night a couple of my new neighbors came to our door and handed me a flier. For a block party. We are invited to a block party. Our neighborhood is having a block party. It's so cool. Our other neighborhood didn't have block parties. They're blocking off one of the streets and providing hamburgers and hotdogs. I'm so excited. This is the coolest neighborhood ever. This suburban life is way more than it's cracked up to be. Way. More.

I love our neighborhood. We live in the first phase and phase two isn't completed yet and someday they'll begin phase three, but I believe it is going to be a very nice neighborhood in a couple of years. The houses are pretty, the lawns are well kept, the people are friendly and practically everyone owns a dog. It's like a lesser version of Wisteria Lane. But only because no one is that pretty. Well, everyone in our house, but the rest of the neighborhood...totally kidding. Honestly, I think we made the perfect choice for location and house. And yes, I will have photos very soon. We finally unpacked and hooked up the computer.

Speaking of Kids and Jokes...

This all reminds me of last year while camping. Darby and Jordan spent their first night in a tent with Jordan's older cousin Amber. I can't remember how old she is. 11? 12? Is that too old? I don't know. Anyway, Brian and I spent the night in the tent up the hill so we could hear everything they were saying. They decided to tell jokes because ghost stories are much too scary for a couple of five year olds. Jordan, of course, wants to start.

"Okay. Why did the chicken cross the road?" he asks with excitement in his voice.

"Why?" the girls ask.

"Because he's a chicken!" he yells. "Hahahaha!!!" Him and Darby are laughing as hard as two little kids could possibly laugh.

"What? That doesn't even make sense," says Amber with much confusion. "I'll tell you a real joke." She proceeds to tell an honest to goodness real joke, with a punch line and all. (I can't remember the joke and I don't know any good jokes to insert, so make up a cute little joke and that's what she told.) She finishes the joke and we hear nothing. *crickets*

Silence.

Silence.

Jordan: "Oh Darby! Remember this one? Knock, knock."

Darby: "Whose there?"

Jordan: "Banana."

Darby: "Banana who?"

Jordan: "Banana you glad I'm not an orange?!"

An eruption of laughter. Hahahaha!!!

They just don't quite get it yet.

(Jokes referenced aren't exact, but you get the picture.)

I Made A Joke

Darby is not exactly what you call a prankster or joke teller. She likes jokes and will laugh at jokes, even ones that don't make sense, but rarely will she tell a joke. I usually take what she says very seriously.

She calls yesterday, "Mom, will you come pick me up early. My dad and Amanda left for like an hour and a half."

"What? What are you talking about. I can't come and get you right now I ...."

"I'm just kidding. They didn't leave. Will you come and get me?"

It's completely out of the ordinary for her to call and tell me that.

The first time I can remember her ever doing something like that was a couple of summers ago at the cabin. We were sitting by the camp fire when one of the chairs started to tip over. She tells us, "I'll get it. I'll get the phone." While grabbing the chair.

We were looking at her like, "what are you talking about it?"

"I made a joke."

She's a very silly girl.

Men Can Be Mean Girls Too

I totally had a Mean Girl moment. If you haven't seen the movie it will make absolutely no sense and you'll just be thinking, "why did she tell that story". But I think it's kind of silly. And if you think I talk about the movie Mean Girls way too much, well your right. But I have a six year old that watches the movie over and over again. It's always on my mind. I can't help myself.

Anyway, I'm strolling over to the printer to pick up an email when I was stopped by three of my male co-workers. "I bet she's one of them", they all start laughing. "What are you laughing about? What am I one of?"

"Your probably one of the 8% of people in this county that have a warrant out for their arrest," one explains.

"Uh, probably not," I disagree. " I live in another county. Sheesh!"

"Well that county is worse. Their at 25%!" (Which is absolutely not true.)

"Whatever losers, I have paid all of my speeding tickets," I tell them matter of factly.

"Your on speed?"

Conversations like that are how horrible rumors are spread. Next thing I know my supervisor is going to have a one on one with me about rehab.

It's Only Wednesday...

And I'm already trying to figure out what I want to do this weekend. It feels sooooo faaaaar awaaaaay! Anyway, I was thinking about how I wasn't going to write mean things about email girl (below), but while I was going through the bathroom to the locker room after working out a memory popped into my head.

We had just finished working out and had to use the restroom (I know too much info). Regardless, I go over to wash my hands and she tells me, and I'm quoting word for word, "I'm not going to wash my hands. I'm taking a shower in a minute anyway." I told her that was gross. She still didn't wash her hands. Hello! Washing your hands isn't necessarily for your benefit, but the benefit of the people who have to touch all the things you just touched with your nasty pee hands. Ugh.

Holding Back

I wrote a post about an awful girl I work with and I won't post it out of fear of it being read by the girl even though I'm sure it's not possible because I doubt she reads or searches for me on the internet or anything, but there's always a chance. Let me just say she's awful and I'm still ticked off about our email conversation yesterday.

Weekend Plans

This weekend feels like it's going to busy, but I think it's just in my imagination. Here's the list, which shall be completed sans Brian since he has to work this weekend. (I hate that part-time job, one weekend a month, two weeks a year or whatever it is they advertise. But this is completely off the subject.)

Here we go:

-Friday night:
*Make homemade pizzas with the kids using our new fancy toaster oven Brian desperately wanted and now has and loves.
*Rent a scary movie for Saturday night family night, which is a new tradition we decided to implement.
*Possibly pay $6 to rent a video game for the kids to play this weekend because I'm feeling especially guilty about giving away a K'Nex Leaping Lizard set that was never opened because it is gigantic and complicated and would never be put together anyway. And it was a birthday present and someone looked very upset when he was told we took it away. The guilt! I can't stand the guilt.

-Saturday morning:
*Wake the kids up super early so we can go to the yard sale Jordan's school is having (this is where the Leaping Lizard set was sent) and do a little shopping. For some reason, the kids love a yard sale.
*Possibly, and this is a big possibly, take the kids to McDonald's for breakfast using one of the gift cards the realtor gave us along with several other gift cards, two bottles of wine, and a plant for our house warming gift. It was awesome to come home and see that gift basket on the front porch.

-Saturday afternoon:
*Have lunch at Boondock's for my sister's b-day. She turned like 25 or something, but for some reason she still loves video games and laser tag.
*Play a round of laser tag and use the gift certificate I won at our department picnic.
*Use the remaining tokens that weren't used at the department picnic.
*Come home, decide what to make for dinner, which should be special because it is family night.

-Saturday night:
*Make a delicious dinner that is still to be determined.
*Decide a which board game to play.
*Play board game.
*Watch semi-creepy movie. We've already decided on Anaconda. Lame, I know, but it will scare the kids.
*Have popcorn and goodies while watching the semi-creepy movie.
*Make the kids go straight to bed after the semi-creepy movie is over, because they will be creeped out and we're mean.

-Sunday morning:
*Do absolutely nothing and make the kids beg to have breakfast. I'm really lazy on Sunday's. I can't help it.

Through it all I hope to get this horrible image of a poor mommy Panda bear out of my head. She was nursing her baby and she was so tired she dropped her and she was crushed and died. I can't even stand to think about it. I couldn't even finish the article. Brian sent it to me. I seriously can not read things like that until Jillian is completely out of the baby stage. She can't even resemble a baby. I just imagine her as the little baby Panda. Ahhhh! I can't stand it!

All I have to say is GROSS. The air is absolutely horrible here. I can not ever remember a time it has been this bad. Horrible.

My month of fitness is working out pretty well. I'm totally on track. Two days in a row I've worked out. I am awesome.

I don't have much to write about today. Have a great Thursday.

Tuesday List of Nothings

-Let me just start out by saying, I am so fricking glad that when I go on vacation people don't have mini-celebrations behind my back, or do little dances when the email goes out saying I'm going on vacation or there aren't celebratory luncheons had in honor of my being gone. Well, I guess if they were going on behind my back I wouldn't know about them, but I have the feeling when I'm away I'm a missed just a little. Some people I work with aren't. For very good reason.

-Someone stole a minute manicure cream from the women's bathroom. There's a note asking that it be returned. I did not steal it, though I could probably use a minute manicure.

-September is our month of fitness. That's what Brian calls it anyway. It's the month we work out and we don't drink beer (at least we don't buy beer). It's suppose to be a lose weight month. The last time we had one of these months was back in February or March. I can't remember.

-My three day weekend was so exhausting. I'm glad to be back at work. I need the break.

-Did I mention we have a fabulous kitchen. It really shouldn't matter because I'm not a great chef by any means, but I have storage for all those kitchen items I don't use. It's absolutely wonderful. I love that kitchen. It is by far my favorite room in the house. The family room is coming in at a close second. We also have two rooms we didn't have before (living and dining). Which means they are unfurnished for awhile. I don't even care right now.

-Women can be catty about new houses and unfurnished rooms. I told Brian. I think he believes me now.

-Halloween is coming up. It is my favorite holiday, even before Christmas. I love Halloween. This year I have a feeling I'm going to be on short supply of kids. This makes me so sad. But I'll survive. Maybe Halloween will have to be celebrated really early this year. Maybe, I'll have to bring out the Halloween dishes and decor in September. Hmm...

Sorry For the Confusion

We had expected to move in to the new house on Tuesday, the same day we were to be out of the old house. It didn't work out and we stayed in a hotel. We are now moved into the new house and everything is going along as smoothly as can be expected. Sure the phone jacks on the first floor don't work and our fridge is extremely noisy and Brian is having entirely too much fun squishing his butt cheeks against the shower door while I'm trying to blow dry my hair. But, I get to walk into a huge kitchen in the morning to make coffee. And if you were my neighbor you would be able to see me do this because we don't have window coverings yet. We have a huge window in our bathroom above the bathtub and it is not fun trying to get ready in the morning. We ended up throwing a sheet over it. I know, totally ghetto, but what are naked people to do?

Anyway, our holiday weekend is going to be spent setting up our new house and I'm very excited about this even though it's hard work. My ass is certainly getting quite the work out walking up and down the stairs a million times a day. I hope everyone has a great weekend!