Pink Sheets

Saturday, July 30, 2005

You Were Meant For Me

This song, by Jewel. I hear it a lot lately. I'm always perplexed by some of the first lines of the song.

Got my eggs, got my pancakes too
Got my maple syrup, everything but you

This song is about love lost and she's sad and lonely and heartbroken over someone who obviously left her. She's depressed. This breakfast isn't for someone depressed, is it?

When I hear this song I think of a time when I felt sad, lonely, depressed and confused. I remember my breakfast consisted of two or three cups of coffee and just as many cigarettes. I think my dinners consisted of more cigarettes, but this time my drink was shots of Tequila or vodka and pepsi. I don't remember making myself an actual meal. I remember feeling paralyzed with grief and wondering why the hell this person wasn't with me.

Put on my pj's and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight

I remember this part. I don't like this song. Every time I hear it, it conjures up horribly bad memories. I'm not sure why I'm writing about it. I have felt a little depressed today. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I've been spending a lot of time alone over the past several weekends. Usually I love my alone time, but lately I'm sick of it. I would really like Brian to come home now and just hang out with me.

'Cause, I know, that you love me
And soon I know you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you

Sometimes that really happens in the end. Sometimes the last memory doesn't have to be a hurtful one. That's why I'm confused as to why this song has such an affect on me.

Friday, July 29, 2005

It's True, You Can't Always Have What You Want

Alright, there is absolutely no chance of me ever acquiring a body like Jessica Simpson’s. At least not the body she has for The Dukes of Hazard movie. Apparently, she worked out everyday, doing weights for an hour and cardio for a half hour and was on a very, very strict diet. She also did a hell of a lot of squats and lunges using 7.5 lb weights.

The exercise part isn’t really the problem, except for the everyday. I could probably do the weights and cardio no problem. Well, I don’t know how I would spend an hour on weights. I would need some kind of guidance there. But the diet part. No way. I hate strict diets. I can’t really stick to any diet and I just don’t want to cut sweets out of my life. Of course, if I had a personal trainer and someone to fix my meals, I would probably be able to make it work. I don’t, so I’m going to live with working out 4-5 days per week, half hour cardio and about a half hour doing weights and hope that I’m fit and trim and beautiful next summer. I was going to write we’ll see how it works, but I will be. I will be a hottie by next summer. There will be no baby fat left on this girl.

Oh, and you may be thinking that I don’t have anywhere near the boobs that Jessica has, but I could get those if I really wanted, it would just cost quite a bit of money and I don’t really want them so voluptuous. Speaking of boobs, Queen has a great little post on this very topic if your interested.

Cute, Sweet, Nice Blah, Blah, Blah

Yesterday I went to get my brows waxed at my favorite salon, which I’ve mentioned before. Brian also goes to the same salon to have his haircut and happened to have a hair appointment earlier that day. Apparently, everyone at the salon simply adores Brian. They think he is so cute and so sweet and so nice.

I go in and my stylist is gushing about how I’m beginning to show and how cute I look. We discuss baby names and she tells me she is so glad I decided not go with the name Savanna because she doesn’t like that name. Basically, we talk about me. Because isn’t that what’s suppose to happen when you go somewhere to get yourself beautified? You talk about yourself? So, the discussion begins on the right note.

And then, all of sudden, it shifted. My stylist happened to mention that Brian was in earlier and he said he was just going to pay for my wax while he was there. She said the woman waiting thought that was so sweet of him to pay for my wax. She said that her husband would never think do that. Then the other stylist, whom shares a room with mine, joins in. “Our Brian is your Brian. Oh we love Brian he is so cute. We just love when he comes in.”

“Yes, he is adorable isn’t he?” I smirk. Hmph!! Brian, Brian, Brian. Sheesh. I then go over to have my brows waxed in the next room and while I’m laying there another stylist, who does not share a room with mine walks by. “Oh my God! Are you expecting?” I tell her yes. “Oh you look great!!” I smile and tell her thank you. We chit chat a little more about me, when she asks, “oh, isn’t your husband the guy that comes in here? Isn’t his name Brian?”

My stylist says, “oh yes, yes. That’s him. It’s his baby.”

“Oh he is so sweet and cute. I think it’s so funny he gets his eye brows waxed. My husband would never get his waxed. He’s a wimp.”

I nod in agreement. Again! (I also didn’t correct her when she called him my husband because I get that all the time. Sometimes I make the correction, sometimes I don’t. This time I didn’t.)

By the way, it only takes about 15 minutes to have your brows waxed. The majority of that 15 minutes was spent discussing how adorable and wonderful Brian is. I suppose that’s okay. I suppose I can put up with all this adoration for him, but only because, for the most part, he is so cute and so sweet and so nice and he is all mine. They get to see him for an hour every month and I get him all the time. The little arrangement works fine for me.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

My Wish List

My birthday is coming up. August 4th. I've made Brian a list of all the gifts I will accept on my birthday-August 4th. I'm going to post my list just for fun.

-A massage or a manicure and pedicure at my favorite salon, Four Gables. (Can you have a massage when your pregnant? Where do you put your tummy?)

-CD's: Beyonce, Dangerously In Love. Neil Diamond, Greatest Hits. Shedaisy, Sweet Right Here and/or The Whole Shebang. (I know, I'm a dork, but I commute to work and they have good sing along songs on all of these CDs. And Neil Diamond isn't as dorky as you might think. Alright?)

-Book: A Summer of Faulkner, from Oprah's Book Club list. (I'm not sure of any other books I want right now. I'm currently reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom. It is really good. I was reading some crap novel, I don't even know the name of the book, but it was horrible. I was only reading it because I get bored when I lay out and then I was thinking that since I started the book I may as well finish it. Stupid idea. I didn't realize how awful it was until I began to read Five People. If you have any other book suggestions let me know. I'm on a reading kick right now.)

-Shoes: I need enough budgeted for black sandals, white sandals (both for next year), and brown boots.

-Barbies: Chocolate Obsession or Spotted Shopping. (I have a small collection of Barbies that I love, and want more. I don't have any rhyme or reason to my collection, I just chose the ones that are the prettiest.)

-Clothes: This is at the bottom of the list because I don't really want new clothes very badly. Normally, I would, but since I have to get maternity it's not as much fun.

I think that was about it. I posted the list to show Brian I mean business. He rebels against my gift lists. He rarely gets me an item from the list. He tries to think of things that I've mentioned previously, but forget to put on the list. Which is fine, but having something from my list would be nice. Hint, hint.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Days Like Today

This was just a day that I want to remember, but I rarely write these things down.

Today I picked up Riley and Darby from their grandma's at around 10:30 am. Brian is at school, so I of course took Jordan with me. I told Jordan before we left he needed to pick up the toys in his room and change his clothes. I went upstairs to get ready and I could hear activity going on downstairs, but I was unsure whether it was cleaning or playing. I went down to check. Jordan was cleaning up his toys, he had changed out of his pj's, put on his Spiderman sandals, and of course, his green swimming goggles. "I'm almost ready to go" he tells me. I smiled and said, "okay".

When we arrived, Darby ran to the car, jumped in, and gave Jordan a great big hug and told him how much she missed him. On the way they discussed what they had done during the week with their dad and their little kid banter makes my heart feel light. They are always discussing nonsense, but they sound like little adults.

Jordan had been waiting for days to tell Riley of these new army men he had received from Marc and Doug, his cousins. Riley was excited to see these new toys and asked Jordan a million questions about what they were like. He then paused and said, "I can't remember who Marc and Doug are." Jordan responed, "they're our cousins, remember?" He did. They actually aren't Riley's cousins, they're Jordan's cousins, but for some reason he said "our". Which is just very unual because they never, ever refer to each other as brother (because they aren't) and there is "Riley and Darby's grandma" and "Jordan's grandma", it is a rare occasion that they share a relative. Even the baby has been up for dispute about whose sister she is. It took a couple of times to explain she is everyone's sister.

They continued with their discussion and changed the subject a million times, as little kids do, until we arrived home. We decided to go on a picnic to the park. I packed us up some lunches while they played with their new army men. We finally loaded into the car and headed to the park. I took them to park a little further from home, just for some variety, and we set up our picnic. There were some seagulls nearby watching us eat so the boys began to throw their bread crust at them. Seagulls are dumb, ducks would have been more fun, but I didn't see any. However, the kids seemed fascinated with the creatures and continued to throw food at them. Sometimes the birds saw the food sometimes it would just go untouched to waste away in the grass.

After the seagulls' attraction wore off they ran to play on the playground equipment. I brough along a book to read while they ran and slid and climbed. I looked up from my book every few moments to make sure everyone was there, because I have a fear of them getting hurt and an even bigger fear that they will be abducted right from under my nose. Most likely the result of too many TV dramas. At one point I looked up and Darby was spinning the carousel for some boy that must have been 7 or 8. I thought it comical that this little 5 year old was running around as fast as she could go for some boy she didn't even know. What was she doing I wondered? Why was she spinning that boy? Darby, however, is an enigma. No one has been able to figure her out. I continued to read.

After a few more glances I noticed that Riley had left the playground and was sitting in front of flock of seagulls, just watching them. He then started to run through the flock, making the dumb birds flap about and fly away. They would land a few feet from their original location and he would do it again. Whatever, weirdo. Again I continued to read. This time when I looked up Riley had a branch in his hand and he was chasing one of the seagulls with the branch. The seagull was high in the air, but it still seemed he was trying to get away from this little boy on the ground. Stupid bird. He could fly anywhere, Riley wouldn't be able to get him and yet he still seemed afraid. I made Riley stop torturing them because birds freak me out. I didn't want them attacking us.

Jordan was contently playing on the playground equipment because that's what he loves to do. He never tires and he would probably be happy to stay their all afternoon. But Riley was getting restless. I think it had to do with his new army man fort sitting on the living room floor unfinished. Jordan didn't put up a fight when Riley told him he wanted to leave and go play with army men.

We arrived home and Riley and Jordan were immediately on the floor finishing their project. Darby, however, was not interested. She said she was going to her friend Olivia's house. This spawned Jordan's attention immediately. He proclaimed that he too was going to go to Olivia's. I think it's because Olivia has a pool, but neither put on their swim suit before they left, so who knows why he wanted to join Darby. Riley didn't even notice they were gone. I decided to put on my bikini and go out back to read.

I went out back and set up my chair. I also cursed myself for not making Jordan and Darby pick up the dog poop before they left. Oh well. I found a spot that wasn't too putried. I started to get settled when I heard their voices coming back from out front. Olivia must not be home. Yes, my luck is changing. "Hey guys, what are you doing?" I ask innocently.

"Nothing, Olivia isn't home so we came back." One of them responded, I don't remember which one.

"Well, how about you guys come back here and pick up dog poop?" I ask, but I'm actually telling them. They know it wasn't a question because they just started heading to the back yard to get the poop bucket and shovel. They also complained about the smell and how horrible it was, but that didn't stop them from going around the yard, one scooping the other holding the bucket. I told them since they were doing such a wonderful job when they were finished I would put on the sprinkler for them. The new sprinkler. "Yeeeah!!!" they both squealed and hurriedly finished with their chore. They ran inside to get on their suits, while I lugged their new sprinkler out of the shed and tried to find a hose to attach it to. The first hose didn't agree with me because I couldn't get the sprinkler head off that someone obviously attached with great strenght. So I used the other one and decided it would be fun to have two sprinklers going at the same time. It was and even Chloe joined in the festivities. In fact, while I was getting the hose into place she was already running around waiting for the water to spurt out for her to attack and drink.

The two little ones ran outside dressed in their swimming wear. On a usual day, Jordan and Darby don't agree on much and they tend to bicker quite often about everything. Even when they should be having fun. Not today. Today they were running in and out of the sprinklers, laughing at Chloe and making up games to play. I thought, at one point, that I should run upstairs to get the camera because they looked so cute. All three of them in one sprinkler, smiling, even Chloe. My chance passed and I felt a bit of regret. Next time.

When they had enough Darby suggested they go in and play princess. She brought over a princess outfit from her grandma's and surprisingly, Jordan said okay without hesitation or complaint, which I also found odd. They dried off and I picked up the mess in the back yard and then proceeded to sun bathe. I went in for a minute to get a bottle of water. I heard Jordan knock on the laundry room door saying, "okay, let me in now."

"Just one more minute,"says Darby. "Okay, are you ready now?" he asks somewhat impatiently. She then flings opens the door and Jordan in an awe struck voice proclaims, "You're wearing all of my clothes!!! Take my clothes off!!!" And they both bust out in laughter, because indeed Darby has every piece of clothing on that Jordan was wearing earlier. She told him she would take them off and Jordan says, "alright my turn." As if to imply that he would be dressing in her clothes next. I don't think he ever did. The next time I came in she was in her princess outfit and Jordan was dressed in his own clothes.

Right now they are resting peacefully though I don't believe they're asleep. However, it doesn't matter because they aren't making a ruckus and they aren't talking. They are doing what I asked them to do and so far today all three of them have been angels. Even Riley, who can sometimes be mouthy and complains that he has nothing to do. If only everyday were like this.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

A Weekly Update

Alright, alright. I'm getting sick of writing about babies all the damn time. I can't help it though. It's the most exciting thing going on in my life right now. I realize that's not saying much. I have a pretty simple life. However, I happen to be enjoying my simple little life so that isn't a complaint.

Nothing too new is going on. Brian is going to be finished with school soon and he's been looking for a job. I don't really like to talk about it all that much because I don't want to jinx the search. So, he's put his resumé out there. How's that?

Chloe's leg is still bugging her because we have been debating on what to do. Hope it gets better, which it does for awhile and then she's crippled again, or pay $500 to have her operated on. Hmmm, I'm not sure about that one. Speaking of my Chloe monster I posted some new pictures of her. She simply is the cutest dog in the world. I told Brian we're probably the only people who think she's so cute, but I think that's how puppy ownership works.

Today I cleaned the house, as I do every Saturday, so that's not news. I did, however, put all the laundry away and since that hasn't been done for about 1.5 weeks, I say that is news. I am also making a roast. We haven't had a roast in months and months and months and I think it sounds delicious. Brian made corned beef the other week when the kids were all here. Apparently, no one likes corned beef. It didn't go over too well with them and I already knew I didn't like it. My poor, sweet Brian. He said that he wasn't ever making dinner again, but that's not true. He made me dinner practically everyday last week.

I was thinking the other day in the car about how I listen to some music really loud. I'm completely jamming out to some song on the radio, when I realize the song is-how should I put this- dorky. I would be so embarrassed if someone heard me singing along to this horribly old, not a goody, song. Do you know what I mean? For instance, the other day I was listening to Barry Manilow, full blast, singing along. When I realized what I was doing I double checked to make sure my windows were up. Barry Manilow. How dorky am I? I only know the songs because my parent's use to listen to him when I was younger. Now look what's become of me. It's quite sad. I do this all the time, with various artists. I know you do it too. Don't deny it. Of course, it's not like I have a Barry Manilow album or anything so I think I still have my cool kid card. I think.

Well, I don't have much else to report. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I am so far.

Friday, July 22, 2005


Today at work is almost unbearable. I am restless and I'm not sure why. I have nothing to do at home, but I would much rather be there than here. Brian and Jordan are off at the water park with Brian's nephews, so I'm sure they're having a good time. I am going stir crazy. Agh!!!

In almost exactly four months I will be having a baby. Does this freak anyone else out or is it just me? Actually, I am really excited. I'm excited about the moments after labor. I hate labor. (Like any one likes it.) My first child I opted to have an epidural and it was the best decision I have ever made. My second baby decided to come along so quickly that there was no time for drugs. It was the most horrendous pain I have ever been in and I just don't think my body deserves to be under such distress. This baby better come out quick or take her sweet time because I don't want any pain!! I also never took any birthing classes, nor do I plan to. I'm a snob and I think I'm too good for them. Who needs birthing classes? Women have been having babies for forever and they seemed to manage fine without any sort of classes. Besides, I don't think I'm the type of person who can "breathe" the pain away.

I have also made an executive decision not to have Brian in the room with me while I'm actually having the baby. You know, the pushing stage. I just don't want Brian to see me like that. I know it sounds outdated and naive, but I just don't. I still really like him and I really like having all sorts of sex with him and I just don't want that to be ruined by such an unflattering position. Plus, I don't want to be mad at him, just in case there isn't time for drugs.

Alright, I know some of you out there probably disagree and I know a few people who read this every so often are mommies. Let me know your opinions and your experiences with labor. I love a good labor story. Did you take classes? Did they actually help? Let me know.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Staying Home, Moving, Divorce and Smoking

I hate when I have nothing to write about. Brian and I have done absolutely nothing this week, except for watch movies and eat ice cream. It’s been nice actually. Brian has been getting bored staying home by himself with no one to talk with except for the dog. I can tell he’s pretty bored, especially when he calls asking me to get off early so that I can buy him a six pack. Next week he has nothing going on either and I don’t know how he’s going to cope. I really can’t take many more days off so he’s pretty much on his own.

It’s funny how he complains about not having anything to do and then in the next breath tells me that I should get a promotion so that he can stay home. I asked him why in the world he would want to stay home when he’s been so lonely this week. He just said he wouldn’t be lonely if he had a baby all the time. Um, well have to see about that. It would be nice, not having him work after the baby was born. She wouldn’t have to go to daycare for a couple of years and the kids would always have someone to come home to. Still, I’m not so sure about that. He’s silly. I like working. I think I would go insane staying at home. My job is my little break away from home. I do wish home and work were balanced differently. A little more home time and a little less work, but I suppose you can’t have everything.

Well, we have been seriously planning this moving into Brian’s parent’s house thing. Brian has all these ideas on how he wants to remodel. I just want an underground pool, but apparently that isn’t a top priority. Hmph! I think it is, but I guess he isn’t too concerned that I have an awesomely tan body every summer. Whatever dude! If he wants me walking around the whole year pasty white, fine. Okay, I digress, anyway, the house has so much potential and has so much more room than our current dwelling. I hope everything works out and we actually get to go through with the plans. But, as I said before, the move date is so far in the future anything could happen and we could change our minds or find something different.

Did you know the divorce rate is down? It is. I know this is exciting information for all of you, but I thought it was kind of interesting. They think a lot of it has do with the fact that people are opting to live together rather than get married. Woo hoo! Brian and I aren’t the only ones who aren’t married. I was beginning to suspect we were. Anyway, I saw this little news report on CNN or some other news station (in case you need a reference that’s the best I can do.)

I was just thinking that the beginning of July marked the 2nd anniversary of me not smoking. That is because I am so cool and I have such great will power. Just kidding. Basically it came down to Brian and I fighting all the time about how gross it is or me just quitting and him buying me lots of prizes, which he did at first and now the prize getting has dwindled. Oh well, it couldn’t last forever. Right? But, the not smoking part should probably last. I mean don't get me wrong, sometimes I sit in my car on my 25 minute commute home that more often than not turns into a 45 minute commute and I desperately crave a cigarette. Other times I can smell smoke emanating from someone else's car and I want to vomit. I think I'll do okay with out the smokes. Plus, I love that my kids tell their dad that he should be able to quit because "mommy quit".

Wow, two years ago. I think Brian and I are so much happier right now then we were two years ago. Two years we were trying to integrate our lives and it wasn’t very easy. Now we finally have the hang of the things. It’s so much nicer and less stressful. Even the baby news wasn’t horrible and is now, in fact, exciting. It’s crazy how your life can change so drastically in just two years, but that is for a different post.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


I'm retracting my previous post. Brian is thinking that there is a small possibility that my blog could be read by people who I wouldn't want reading that particular complaint. So I will remove it in order to keep peace and not cause problems. Also, it feels good to get it of my chest so I'm at peace now. Hmph!

Interstellar Lass, in response to your comment you are correct and I have been thinking I need to post a new tummy photo. I will do that in the next couple of weeks.

Monday, July 18, 2005

I Just Want a Simple Life

Brian and I have been discussing our plans to move. We actually talk about this quite regularly. What kind of house do we want, how big it should be, what part of town do we want to live in? Since our projected move date is still about a year and a half out, the answers to these questions seem to change on a weekly basis.

First, we wanted a more expensive and big, 2500 sqf house. In order to purchase one of these it would have to be the cookie cutter variety with no unique characteristics in a neighborhood that looks like any other neighborhood. That idea was then replaced with looking at the same price range in a more established neighborhood that had strict ordinances to adhere to. One where people cared about their yards and the outside of their homes and every mailbox had to match. Then we found this cute little house with four bedrooms, a nice yard, in a nice, but not too conformist neighborhood with a pool and a hot tub. This house was much less expensive than what we had originally been looking at. This house would be perfect, if we were in the market to buy. Plus, we could actually make plans for the cabin we dream of one day owning. So what if it doesn’t have the square footage we thought we needed?

Now we have a different idea. Last night we came up with idea of one day buying
Brian’s parents house. The house he grew up in. He thinks it sounds sad to live in the same house all of his life, but it’s actually a great house. It’s a decent sized, that will need quit a bit of remodeling in order to fit our needs, with a huge yard, the perfect size to install a pool and it won’t cost a small fortune (to us a fortune isn’t all that much money) to buy. Even with the costs of remodeling it wouldn’t be horribly expensive and our dreams of cabin ownership could still become a reality.

It’s funny how these little things are the things I dream of having. I don’t dream of having millions of dollars or a mansion. I don’t dream of taking extravagant, expensive vacations or having my kids go to boarding schools (well sometimes I have that dream). I just want a nice, comfortable house, with a few luxuries, such as a pool. A place we can go to escape the crazy world we sometimes live in, such as a cabin. Jobs that afford us fun vacations that Brian and I can take with or without kids. My expectations of life have suddenly changed from trying to have a better job, more money, a bigger house, a newer car to just wanting to be happy. Surprise, surprise. There is a difference.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Horoscope Nonsense

I decided to get this silly horoscope reading and I am not satisfied with it. Basically it says that the way people view me is exactly the opposite of how I actually am. What the heck does that mean? I don't think it sounds very good. Sheesh!

Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others Modest, unobtrusive, and often rather quiet or shy, you are a person who is content to be in the background or to serve as an assistant, in the supporting role rather than in the lead. You are quite humble in your own assessment of yourself and you have a very strong perfectionistic attitude, with a tendency to be overly self-critical. No matter how well you do something, you always see the flaws in it and how it could be improved. Often you will simply refuse to attempt something because you feel you cannot meet your own high standards.

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation Proud and intensely individual, you really want to stand out, to be the very best you can be, and to be recognized and appreciated for your unique contributions. Doing something well and being respected for it is extremely important to you, and you cannot tolerate being in the background, taking orders from others, or being "just one of the team". You must put your personal stamp on whatever you do, and direct your own course in life. You need to have a place where you can shine, express yourself creatively, and be the one in charge.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

More Of The Same

I just have nothing to write about. I'm sorry. Here's some random things going on. Enjoy! :)

I eat yogurt because it’s a great source of calcium, however I don’t like it all that much. There’s something about having such a creamy texture fill my mouth that makes me want to puke.

Darby has a wart on her knee that we’ve been trying to get rid of. It’s hard because we medicate for a week and then she goes back to her dad’s, who doesn’t treat the wart and it’s never going to go away. I’m going to try something new so we’ll see how that works. She says she “wish she never growed the wart.” Poor thing.

It’s suppose to be hot as hell today. Lucky for me I’m a lowly office worker and I won’t step foot outside until 4:00. Lucky me.

The baby is moving a lot these days. I like it right now, but I remember the bigger they get the more annoying and sometimes painful their movement becomes. Right now it feels like little flutters in my tummy. Soon it will feel like punches. That’s when Brian will finally be able to feel something. Right now he doesn’t have the patience to sit and wait for a flutter. What a dork.

I have a huge crush on Jessica Simpson, which I’ve stated before. I don’t know what it is about her exactly, except for the fact that she is completely hot and now has this fabulous body. I can not wait to see the Dukes of Hazzard. Even if it sucks, it will be worth it. She’s hot, am I wrong?

I have no intention of switching teams. The crush is just for Jessica and maybe Angelina Jolie. Can you blame me?

I have the worse heartburn right now. Stupid!

I have been desperately craving a donut, which thus far I have resisted. This morning I decided to give into my temptations and have one. I went to buy a delicious chocolate bar, or maybe a maple bar, only to find they were out. Argh!!! I want a stinking donut. Jeeeez!

Monday, July 11, 2005

It's All Rubbish

-I love my puppy. I had to spend this weekend with her and she is just so sweet it's almost annoying. She is so cute. She hardly makes any noises at all, unless you tease her, which will result in barking, but other than that she is quiet. Brian and I did read that some dogs don't find their barks for a couple of years, I hope she never finds hers. I think it's sweet she doesn't bark at anything.

She wants so much to please us and is so upset when we get mad at her. We use to have a dog named Bailey, he was a Beagle (he still is) and he was so rotten. He used to do whatever he could to escape the backyard. He dug holes and tore up the house and fence. He was horrible. When he did get out he would return covered in dog feces. It was awful. Our little Chloe is the exact opposite. She will lay in the backyard all afternoon, just chewing on her rawhide or chasing butterflies. She does have issues with one of our trees and I think she's trying to dig it out of the ground, but other than that she has no desire to escape us.

-Brian and I watched What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Leonardo Dicaprio's character is a mentally challenged 18 year old. After the movie was about finished he asked, "doesn't watching him make you miss the kids?" As a matter fact, it did. He acted like the 5 year olds. For the most part they're sweet and just want to have fun and be loved, other times they are out of control and obnoxious and hard to reason with, but it's always so innocent. Plus, they tell you exactly what they think. They tell you the truth whether it hurts your feelings or not. And-you know- sometimes they're mentally challenged.

-Riley stated the other day that, "soon Mommy was going to have three kids." Jordan retorts with, "yep, and she'll have four kids to watch over." I thought that was sort of cute.

-Last night Brian and I watched The Life of David Gale. I insisted that we've seen it before, he says I'm smoking crack and that maybe I have seen it without him. It was somewhat accusatory and completely invalid. First of all, the movie came out in 2003. We moved into our house in 2003 and from that point forward we have been inseparable. Second, I rarely watch movies, such as this, without him. The movies I watch solo are chick flicks. I don't have, nor do I need a third reason why it's weird he hasn't seen the movie, except that maybe he has and can't remember. There were parts of the movie I had no recollection of. Plus, we had a few phases of binge drinking we went through during that time period which could be the reason for his lapse in memory. We'll never know what really happened. It will always be a strange mystery. Oh well, I'm over it.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Wanna Know What I'm Doing Today?

It's Saturday, 7:00 am and I am wide awake. In fact, I have already managed to clean the kitchen less sweeping and mopping the floor which I will get to shortly. It's one of those alone Saturday's with no kids and no boy. Just me and the dog, though sometimes she's a handful. Especially now, because her kneecap has snapped back into place and she can run and prance around. She is so stinking cute. I might try and get some snapshots of her today running through the sprinklers. She loves that.

I am also getting a haircut. I'm thinking it's time for something new. The other night I was thinking something shorter and flippier. I woke up the next morning and Brian told me I should grow my hair out long, so that it's luscious and dark brown. Hmmm, we were not on the same wavelength that night. I don't think he was serious so short and flippy it is.

I was also thinking I might drop in on my mom to help her do some serious cleaning to her condo. I love my mom and I think she is a wonderful person, however her housekeeping is atrocious. She wants my babies to spend the night one night next weekend and I just can't have them over there in filth. They love to see her and hang out, but I can't imagine they enjoy the mess. Riley is always telling Grandma she needs to clean her room. Ever since he was little and just beginning to talk he has told her that. He might end up being a bit obsessive compulsive when he's older. What am I talking about, he's a little bit that way now with his toys and room. Just not as much as I would like him to be.

Maybe, after I help my mom out I can reward myself with a little, tiny shopping trip. Just a little one. Brian said not to spend any money, but he always says that. Hee, hee.

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Idaho has made the national news because of a horrific story involving murder, kidnapping, and child rape. It's so disgusting. I found this news article that the "suspect" had a blog. I don't really want to link my blog to his, so you can go to the article if your at all curious.

I went to the blog, but I didn't read very much. I don't think I really want to know what a sick person like himself has to write. It was just so weird to even go to his blog. I went to the bottom of the page and read the first one. It seemed like any other blog at that point. I'm sure it progressively became creepier. Then I read the comments. Most people posted anonymously. I wonder why not post your name? Do they really care if this deranged person knows who they are? I doubt he will even see the comments they leave. So, I'm wondering what the point is anyway. Besides, I suspect that someone as sick as him, probably takes some kind of pleasure in knowing that people find him utterly disgusting.

The story, if you haven't heard anything about it, is completely disturbing. The details are pretty shady at this point and I just have a million questions, most of them consisting of why. Why did he tie up the mother, boyfriend, and older brother and then bludgeon them to death? Just to kidnap the eight and nine year old? Why is the nine year old boy not alive anymore, but the eight year old girl is? Why did he chose them to kidnap and torture through sexual acts? Why was he ever released from any facility or jail, ever? I hate even thinking what could have gone on in the month that he had that little girl and boy, who are approximately Riley's age.
If you go to the first link, that story will direct you to more links at the bottom with more details about what happened. It's one of the most horrible things I have heard about in quite awhile. I hope that little girl receives the help she is going to so desperately need. I feel so bad for her.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

A Fourth of July Weekend

The weekend wasn't nearly long enough so I came home early today. 6 hours early in fact. I don't really feel all that well. I was tossing and turning last night from heartburn and a headache. I think the fact that I enjoyed a busy, three day weekend was too much for my body to deal with.

What did we do you ask? Friday we went to the cabin, hung out, made S'mores. The usual. Saturday we took the kids to the parade in Cascade, a teeny tiny town in Idaho. The parade consisted of a lot of little kids on bikes, motorcycles, and four wheelers, some horses, and a Pepsi truck. The kids had a blast. I don't know why, but it was so much fun to go, buy some candy, stand in the street, and watch an hour of the entire town of Cascade parade down the main street. Sunday, we cleaned up our mess and headed home, where we got the kids ready to go to their other parent's houses, and realized we forgot our movie rentals in the mountains. Piss!!

We were in no way going to drive back up on Sunday afternoon, so after we dropped off the kids, I went shopping and Brian went to work out. Guess what I bought? Nothing!! I went shopping and came home empty handed. I was so disappointed in myself. Aw well, I still had the 4th of July sales to look forward to. However, we now had to make an extra trip to the mountains. Not that it's very far. It only takes about an hour and half to drive there, but it's a rather big inconvenience.

We woke up bright and early on Monday morning, because for some reason, regardless of the hour we go to bed, Brian likes to wake up at 6:30 in the morning. We drank some coffee, I cleaned the kitchen, we showered, got dressed and we were out the door before nine to go check out the sales at Lowe's. They had nothing. We stopped at a few more places and bought our first baby outfits and then headed up to the mountains. This story is so boring so I'm going to end it now. We arrived in the mountains, stayed for lunch, headed back down, did some more shopping and went and saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith. How was that for a wrap up?

Anyway, I felt like crap this morning so I made it an early day and decided to take our poor, precious little Chloe to the vet because she has hurt her back leg. I knew it wouldn't be a trip producing good news. She needs surgery because her knee cap is dislocated and they were unsuccessful at popping it back into place. Our poor little puppy is only 8 months old and if she has the surgery, which I think she has to have in order to stop limping, she will have to be confined for up to 4 weeks in her kennel. She won't be allowed to play or run or go on walks. She is just a puppy. It will probably be more torturous than the dislocated knee. I am not happy about this one bit, but I don't see any other options. I wish it was something that would just heal. I wish we had puppy insurance. I wish she didn't have a weird knee. I wish, I wish, I wish...