I Think I Feel A "Case of the Mondays" Coming On

I was so bad last week. So, so bad. I ate out too much, drank too much, had too much junk food and didn't work out enough. This week will be perfect. I promise. Perfect I tell you! Today I am doing yoga AND my difficult work out that I hate and always decide not to do. I'm doing it. And I'm going to sweat. And I'm going to like it. Last week I was down another pound, but I'm pretty sure I'm getting that pound back. Maybe more. Ugh!

Someone stole my print job off the printer. I hate sharing a printer at work. I printed something that has rail car numbers on it and the day of the month the rail cars are expected to reach the mill AND an invoice number. I know. This is exciting stuff. People want this paper so badly they just grab it up with their own papers. I don't think I'll ever get it back.

Jillian has decided she likes soccer now. I'm so relieved. I was worried she hated it and wouldn't play but she does pretty good now. She runs and kicks the ball down the little field. It's so cute. She hasn't made a goal yet, but I'm not expecting miracles. I'm just glad I didn't waste a bunch of money signing her up and buying all of her gear. That would suck!

I think this is the last year Darby will be playing soccer. Which makes me sad because she's pretty good, but she says she doesn't like it. So, I guess I won't make her play. That would be bad.

I usually make the kids take a break from sports in the winter but I might have them do something. Maybe take a class at the rec center like swimming or karate. You only sign up for the month so it's not a huge obligation. I want to put Jillian in a ballet class because she loves that type of thing. I would really like to get the older kids skiing. At least Jordan and Darby. Riley didn't show much interest in it when I asked him about it. But I think the other two would really like it. Or snowboarding, I don't care. Lessons aren't that expensive it's the other stuff that's expensive. Like the gear and the season passes and all that stuff. Who knows. Maybe we should all try skiing. You know. A family thing.

I have not watched NFL football once this year. In fact, I don't watch regular TV at all. Since we've got the the box for Netflix attached to our TV I have had no desire to even turn it over to the regular stations. I don't really think I'm missing anything. Besides, I would only watch so that I could keep up and know what Riley was watching and have conversations about it, but he doesn't really watch pro-football that much either. So, this year we are strictly a BSU house. At least for now.

And BSU is doing awesome as usual. #5 in the polls this week. Woo hoo!

Okay, I got to go. This time I stole some one's print job. It's much more interesting than the one I had stolen from me.

A Short Dog and A Tall Tale

Last Tuesday poor Riley was bit by a wiener dog. On his wiener. It was very traumatic. I didn't really think it was that bad. I mean, he couldn't walk and he said that it bled a little bit, but it was a wiener dog. Apparently, I was completely wrong. He was really sore Wednesday morning and his grandpa said he was red and swollen. So, I took him to the doctor.

We get there and the doctor asks a million questions, which we answer. Very routine. Then he says he needs to check out the bite to make sure there was no serious damage. I close my eyes and I hear, "Oh my gosh! Wow! He really got you good didn't he?" Ahhh! It's painful to even think about. Luckily there was nothing that needed operating on. We got him some cream and Advil for the pain. No baseball all week but other than that nothing major.

He left last night to go to his dad's and before he goes Jillian tells him, "bye Riley, I hope your penis feels better". It was too funny! She is so weird.

Yesterday we were filling out a questionnaire for Jillian's daycare. It had questions such as who are your brothers and sister and pets and favorite color. All very easy. We get to the question, what is your favorite book and she tells me The Land of Four Creatures. I have never heard of this book. Nor have I seen this book. So I ask, "what is that?".

She tells me it has an alien and monster and...I interrupt her. "Where is the book?" She says it's in a scary forest..."No, where is it, in your room?" She ignores this question and continues to tell me the story of "The Land of Four Creatures".

"Jillian." I interrupt her again. "Who reads this book to you?" At that very moment Riley walks in to the kitchen. She turns around and then answers. "Riley".

"Okay, go upstairs and get the book and show it to me."

"Oh, I lost it."

"Jillian! You need to put a real book down for the answer."

"Oh fine. Goldilocks and The Three Bears."

Okay then. My goodness. That one has an answer for everything! I'm a little afraid. She's already this good at telling stories and she's only 3, imagine after she has a couple of years of practice.

I'm Going to Work and Coming Home and Living My Life

This is my motto this week. I'm suppose to come to work, do my job and go home. Nothing else. I'm not suppose to worry about what I "think" people at work expect me to do. I just need to work and do my job responsibilities and go home. This is harder said than done, actually. It sounds easy, but then I worry if I think like that I'll get in trouble because I'm not doing something someone expects me to do. Of course, if that was the case, it would fall into one of my responsibilities and I would just do it and then go home and enjoy my life, right? Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Another rambling post. This is what came of the first therapy session. Because work stresses me out and I'm going crazy.


Plus, I had to change my pill prescription, which I was warned would mess up my hormones. But my hormones were a little messed up before the change so I don't think it's entirely the pill's fault. I have been completely stressed all weekend and upset and sad feeling, but today I feel a little better. I'm not sure why. I was told I probably have a mild case of depression, but I don't need medication or anything. I'm just blue. Like I said. I have another session on Friday. I'm glad.

This is what I've been doing as part of my enjoyment of life:

-Took Jillian to get her first ever soccer pictures taken. Very cute.

-Reminded Darby about the importance of doing well on homework. She takes a strange approach to her school work. Her teacher had to constantly remind her last year, as did I, that she needs to do homework. She thinks she can just skip homework, ace the tests and go on with life. But that's not how life is. She has to do the homework too. She didn't miss any assignments, but I don't think she gave her best effort.

-Decided to cancel my hair appointment-AGAIN and let Jordan skip his Friday practice so that we can make the Harvest festival. But I haven't told him yet. I decided last night and cancelled my appointment this afternoon. My hair looks like crap, but I had been planning to go to this since we have everybody with us this week.

-Made dinner.

-Watched That's So Raven with kids.

-Got mad at Jillian for not listening. For like the 100th time. But she apologized and was good. And I gave her a kiss and hug.

-Told Riley, the 12 year old, to let Jillian, the 3 year old, win one game on her Nintendo 64 that Darby got for their room. Seriously!

-Broke the news to the girls that I accidentally ordered The Closer instead of Supernatural on Netflix. It's going to be three more days until we get a new one. Sorry!

Right now this is my life. This is the part that matters. (Brian was at school so I didn't see him all day.) But this is the part, though it's crazy-hectic, that does not stress me out. I feel under the gun sometimes but it never makes me freak. Or want to cry or want to scream. But that's kind of what happens when I have a bad day at work.

The therapist asked if I could be a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, no. So for this week I'm coming into work, and doing my job and going home and being happy and not worrying about the job at home. So far so good.

In Need Of An Adjustment

I have an appointment tomorrow with a counselor/therapist person. At lunch. I don't know if that was a good idea, scheduling therapy during my lunch hour, but I figured I could eat lunch early, go to the appointment, and still work-out. This is how I think. I have this obsession with working out lately. In fact, I've been stressing a bit because I have NO time to do yoga during the week. None. And I love yoga, but I can either sleep or do yoga. Considering my emotional status lately, I think sleep and little bit of doing nothing at night is a safe bet. Yoga can wait until the weekend, I suppose. Except there are games this weekend starting at 10:30 am on Saturday. I guess I could get up early. Ugh! On a good note, I only need to lose 3 more lbs to be back to my normal weight. Which might account for the obsession. I just need to lose that 3 lbs.

Okay, back to my emotional status. I have been a roller coaster of emotions lately, but mostly I feel kind of dull. Especially during work hours. I feel nothing at work. I'm in a daze. I can't say that I'm depressed because I don't feel like staying in bed all day or not doing anything. Sometimes I just don't care. Which is bad. Because I should care and want develop professionally and all that. But I just don't. I just want to work and go home. But also mixed into that is I work with people who love to find errors. Errors that I've made and point them out to other people. Particularly managers. And they find enjoyment in this. And I don't get it, but it makes me tired and sad.

And when I'm home I'm happy. And having the kids in sports and running around and trying to jam a million things into a few hours does not stress me out. It makes me happy. I love it. But then when I think about work, it makes me sad that I have to go back. I would rather just stay home and run kids around and volunteer for things and clean the toilets. No, that's a joke. I don't clean toilets, but if I didn't have a job I would have to clean the toilets. Which is bad. And part of the reason the kids are able to participate in the sports is because of the two income thing. Which is fine. I just feel like my work life should be more than what it is I guess. Or I could feel thankful that I have such a flexible schedule and that Brian and my best friend work with me and I get to see them all the time.

This is what the therapy thing is for. I need coping skills or something. So that I don't feel like I always need to be on the defensive. Because that is carrying over to home and it's probably not fair to everyone to have me explode and start crying over things that don't make me explode and start crying normally. You know, having people walk on eggshells because I take things too personally. That type of thing.

Okay, I hope I didn't ramble on too much. Just thought I would share.

I Love a Long Weekend

Those naughty, naughty Ducks. They made big news last Thursday night. At least in the sports world. A Duck hit a Bronco in the face. Yes, the Bronco happened to be taunting the Duck after winning the game, but still, in the face? Come on. You don't think that's going to cause a little problem? Plus, on the way to the locker room, while being held back by a coach, a cop and some security guys he started going after the crowd. The BSU crowd. Idiot. Anyway, that Duck will not be playing the rest of the season (note that Thursday's game was the first game of the season) and from what I hear he's the best player they have. Here's a link if you want to read and see more.

Other than that not much excitement. I took Friday off, which was so nice. I'm still running out of days. Ack! I need more days off, but that's just not going to happen. I'm trying to conserve the best I can but it's not easy. And I am somewhat unexpectedly need to take four days off in November, which really throws me off. But, I'm excited for those days off. Very excited.

So, Friday Jordan and I went to Darby's school and ate mini-corn dogs for lunch. It wasn't as bad as I feared. They were okay. I also had to cheat on my hair girl. I didn't want to but it was unavoidable. I needed my brows waxed. Desperately. And before the Labor Day weekend. I couldn't look at those babies any longer. They were awful. So, I went to some random place downtown and spent, way, way too much on my eyebrows. Way too much. I never want to do that again. I like my hair girl.

I was thinking about my previous post and the discussion of Halloween we had in the car on the way home from Awanas and I realized that those car conversations are the best. I always have the best conversations in the car with the kids on the way to practices or Awanas or when I drag them to the store. It's just a relaxed setting. No stress. Even more so than the dinner table and way more than when I talk to them on the phone. I don't know why. It seems like they'll talk about anything and everything in the car. Like it's a safe zone. You should have heard some of the conversations on the way home from the mountains. Too funny! I won't give details today. It will be another post.

I'm tired this morning. Still recovering from my lazy weekend, I guess.

All Sorts of Plans

Tomorrow is the big game between the Broncos and the Ducks. Very excited. Not only do I get to just hang out and relax with the family, but I get to watch what I hope is a very exciting game while drinking a few brews and eating junk food. Plus, Labor Day is coming up and I took Friday off. I rock!

Jordan doesn't have school Friday. He has expressed interest in going to one of his friend's house for the day. I told him he needs to get me some contact information and we can see if we can make that happen. Riley and Darby do not have Friday off so I was thinking I might have lunch with Darby. I looked up the lunch menu and it's corn dogs. Ugh, but it will be worth it. She loves when I go to her school. I wish I had more time to volunteer at the schools, but I have to work so it's usually not very easy. I'm running out of days off. Bummer!

Riley told me that I was never to come to his school to have lunch. Ever. Under no circumstances. Rude! Whatever middle school boy. I suppose I won't embarrass him.

Jordan's school has a Fall Fair coming up. I was thinking about volunteering for one of the booths during the fair for a half hour or so, but I don't know. I kind of just want to take the kids and have fun, which I'll be able to do because we have all of the kids that week.

Last night we were driving home from Awanas and Jillian brought up Halloween which prompted a huge discussion on what we're going to do for Halloween this year. It was so cute. They were talking about what they were going to be and how we should decorate the house. They hope Darby's school has another Halloween carnival and they don't want to go anywhere for Halloween this year. They just want to stay home and make a haunted house. I told them we could do the trunk or treating at Awanas. Nope, they want to dress up scary. I said we could go to Boise and do the Harrison Blvd trick or treating again, which is a big deal in Boise. Nope, that was too crowded. They just want to stay home, trick or treat the neighborhood and pass out candy. And make our house the scariest one in the neighborhood. I guess we'll see what we can do.

I'm so glad they get excited for Halloween like they do because that is my favorite holiday. I love it and now so do they. Even Jillian.

Oh and Jillian has decided that she is not going to be a Duck. She is going to be a Bronco for the game, so I'm going to get out all of the Bronco shirts tonight. Go Broncos!

Have a great weekend!