Things That Make Me Smile

I am in a rather sour mood this morning. No particular reason really, I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, with little sleep. I have spent the entire morning reading blog after blog after blog. Basically wasting my time. I was reading one blog and there was a word in the first paragraph that literally made my skin crawl. Seriously, this one little word made me angry. It must be hormonal, but lately I've noticed that single words can make me irritable. I'm not exactly sure how to explain why words make me angry or how a word could possibly be irritating, but they do and they are. Let's just leave it at that.

I was going to make a list of all the words that piss me off, but decided I didn't want to go down that road. Instead, in honor of telling myself to stop being a neurotic insano and to get the f*ck over it I'm going to make a list of all the things that have made me smile in the last couple of weeks.

This little moment was overheard while the kids were sitting at the table eating pumpkin pie maybe? Well, who cares what they were eating.

Jordan: "What if your mom and my dad got married?

Riley: "Jordan, that is never going to happen."

Jordan: "I know, I'm just saying 'what if'."

I guess they figure if we haven't got married yet, we're never going to get married.

Riley has this most annoying habit of not listening and then making things up that you might have said. For instance, he asked if they could have pumpkin pie, I said in a minute. He responded with, "what, we don't get any pumpkin pie?" He does crap like that all the time and it pisses me off. On Friday at dinner with my family he was particularly bad about it.

Riley: "What we don't get any pumpkin pie?"

Me: "Riley, you know very well that is not even close to what I said to you. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you need your hearing checked?" (Remember, this is after several of these little conversations through out the night.)

Riley: "What?"

A couple days later Darby is reminiscing with Brian about that night's incident.

Darby: "Brian remember when Mommy asked Riley if he needed is hearing checked and Riley said 'what'?"

Brian: "I do remember that Darby. You almost lost your brother that night."

Another table conversation-which have proven to be the best ones. Somehow the word wiener came up. I'm not sure how.

Jordan: "A wiener is like a hotdog."

Darby: "Yep, it's also something boys have."

Brian: "Did she just say that?"

Me: "I'm thinking she did, yes."

Jordan: "No Darby, I'm talking about the wiener that's the same size as a hotdog."

Brian: "Your wiener isn't the same size as a hotdog."

Jordan: "Nooooo!!! I'm not talking about that wiener. I'm talking about the kind of wiener you put into buns."

Me: "Jordan, that is gross!!"

Jordan: "NOOOO!!!! I'm not talking about that. Just never mind!"

Another Thanksgiving conversation. I was pouring water into paper cups for the kids.

Me: "You guys need to be careful with these cups. Make sure you don't spill any water." I say this right as I knock one of the paper cups, filled with water, over.

Riley: "Like you just did?"

Me: "You aren't funny." (Okay, maybe he's a little funny.)

And one of my favorite things: I hear this every time Brian walks into a room where the baby is sleeping.

"Oh my God, you are sooo cute!"

This is a much better list than the one I originally had in my mind. I'm in a much better mood. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Post Pregnancy Stuff

Week two of staying home. It's been pretty nice so far. I rather enjoy staying home. More so than I thought I would. I believe I've mentioned before that staying home was rather boring and I didn't believe I would make a very good stay at home mom. Of course, it's only been two weeks. We'll see how I'm feeling about this stay at home thing at the end of six.

Right now it's been nice to be able to keep the house mostly clean and stay caught up on the laundry. It's nice to not be rushed in the morning while getting the kids ready and helping Brian get ready (because he needs help too, with coffee and lunch). Brian does complain that I don't have dinner ready when he gets home. In fact, I think he complains a little to much. Hello, I'm a girlfriend not a house keeper. If I ever do have dinner ready when he gets home it will be because I'm being sweet, not because it's expected of me. Okay, I don't really believe he expects that, he just probably thinks it would be nice. Maybe this week will be the week. I haven't decided yet. Besides, I never know exactly when he'll be getting home.

Post pregnancy really kind of sucks. I thought being pregnant was bad, but at least when I was pregnant I was mostly cute. Right now I'm like a bloated mass of flesh. I pretty much hate my body right now. My stomach is shrinking, but it's still yucky and flabby. And my butt is still huge and I still have about 20 pounds to shed to be my pre-pregnancy weight. Then I'm going to have to work out extra hard to firm up my muscles that are like jelly right now. It's sort of depressing. I was going to go on a walk today, but unfortunately one of my girls has a fever of 101 degrees. The older girl, not the baby. She's home today and will not be doing much of anything so walking outside is not an option. Poo!!!

Speaking of depression, I don't think I've experienced that post partum depression thing. I've been a little depressed at times, but not about the baby. When I hear people describe ppd they always say things like they don't feel connected to their baby and they don't want to hold their baby. In extreme cases they want to hurt their baby. I haven't experienced that all. Not even a little bit. I can't put that baby down. I have to hold her all the time. She makes a little peep and I rush to pick her up. (I'm not so bad anymore, I try to wait until she actually needs me.) Anyway, any depression I have experienced usually has to do with not being able to have sex and feeling like heifer. I'm a little more emotional than usual. I cry about things that I wouldn't usually cry over. Actually, I'm not much into crying at all. I never cry. Last week I watched Oprah and there was a story about a baby that had liver damage and needed a donor or she would die. That made me cry. Usually I would just think that was sad and probably turn to another show. No, not that day. That day the story made me cry. Damn Oprah!

Well, I guess I should go find something constructive to do with my day. I think I'm going to go through the Christmas stuff. I love going through the Christmas stuff.

Thanksgiving Break-Or Not

The last few days have been much to busy. I need a rest. We have been going nonstop since Thanksgiving.

For Thanksgiving we spent the day at Brian's parent's house. And I mean the entire day. I think we were there for 7 or 8 hours. I'm not sure. But, I enjoy going over there. It's completely stress free. You aren't required to do much but eat and drink. I barely even had a chance to hold Jillian. Someone would snatch her up the minute someone else would put her down. That's alright too. I love holding my little baby, but even I could use a break every now and again. I'm actually looking at her right now and she is so stinking cute. Her eyes are open, which is a rarity. She's so damn cute. But I digress. Sorry about that.

Friday, we went on our annual shopping trip. Yes, we are those crazy people who wake up at 3 am to be at the store at 5. We do not, however, fight people. Nothing is worth a fist fight. I guess that's not entirely true, but nothing we want is worth a fist fight. Anyway, we only went to a couple of stores because they were having amazing deals on Game Boys and Game Boy games that we couldn't pass up. After we finished shopping we went to breakfast and I had way too much caffeine. We picked up all the kids, went home, took a nap, and got ready to go to my mom's house.

My mom made another turkey dinner because all of us have so much to do on Thanksgiving day. This way it's ensured that no one is rushed and we can't necessarily leave early. I don't know if this is good or bad. Anyway, we packed up all the kids, which is now four, and headed over to my mom's. Do you know what we drove over in? Something new (to us) and something big (seats seven). That's right, we bought a new vehicle. We rode over in our new Suburban, which is so nice and so convenient for our rather large family. We kept our other cars for commuting, because the Suburban makes absolutely no sense gas wise, but size wise, it's perfect. It really is nice. It's the nicest car I've ever had in my drive way. In fact, it's the first car I've ever had with leather seats. I really like it. I want to drive it all the time. Again, I have strayed from the topic.

Saturday afternoon we had Jordan's birthday party. He turned 5 on Wednesday. We went bowling for his birthday and my mom made each of the kids bowling shirts. I will be posting pics of them in their shirts soon. They look so cute. I can't believe how well they turned out. They were really excited and the party at the bowling alley worked out extremely well. It was a lot of fun. This year the theme was Batman and I am amazed by the amount of Batman stuff he came home with. Brian's my mom went crazy. He has new underwear, shirts, pajamas, books, action figures, a Batmobile. Pretty much anything and everything you could find with Batman. We bought him several action figures, the movie, the Game Cube game, and the Batman series. It's a lot of Batman.

Guess what we're doing today? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I might clean the house because it's a disaster, but other than that, we're doing nothing. I'm going to enjoy it!!! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and ate lots and lots of food.

A Sweet Baby Girl and A Necklace From Tiffany & Co.

What more could a girl ask for? Oh yes, an epidural would have been nice. But apparently it was not in my cards. This happened last time. Bloody hell!

I know your all dying to hear the gory details of my labor, maybe not but your going to get them anyway. Besides, it's not a long story. On 11-15-05 at around 10 am I started having contractions. They were weak but consistently 25-30 minutes apart. I had a doctor's appointment at 2 so I decided to keep timing them. By the time I arrived at the doctor's office they were about 15-20 minutes apart. He checked me out and I was dilated to about 3.5. He told me not to drive back to Nampa (this is where we live, about 20-30 minutes from the hospital). He suggested I take a walk and when the contractions were consistently 7-8 minutes apart to go to the hospital and get checked in.

Since Brian and I work together (have I ever mentioned that we work together? Um, we do). Anyway, since Brian and I work together, about 5 minutes from the hospital we decided he would go back to work and I would walk the building with my friend. I walked about 45 minutes and went to get Brian. We needed to leave.

We arrived at the hospital around 4 pm. I told the nurses I desperately wanted an epidural. My contractions hurt like hell and I was in immense pain. They sort of dilly dallied at first. I don't think they thought I was very far along. I had told them I was at the doctor's office two hours ago and dilated to about 3.5. I think they figured I had time. The nurse checked me out. I was dilated to 7. For those of you who have never had babies, you only have to get to ten before the baby is ready. They put me on the fast track to getting an epidural.

I admit, I was a total wuss about the whole thing. I complained and semi yelled at the nurses. I told them it hurt and I wanted the epidural. They set me up in the delivery room and told me they were getting it as soon as they could. Then the feeling came on that I was dreading. The feeling that I needed to push. I knew it was too late for that stupid epidural I so desperately wanted. I told those nurses I needed to push and they said the words I did not want to hear, "just wait a minute". Excuse me, but it doesn't seem to be up to me at this point. I don't want to wait, I can't wait. I need to push and someone better get over here so that I can push. They expected me to wait for the doctor. Brian wanted me to wait for the doctor. He later told me he didn't want the nurse to deliver our baby. I guess she seemed nervous.

My doctor finally came in the door. I was so relieved to see him and a little pissed off. I really wanted that epidural. He was the only one in the room that said it was okay to push, so he was my favorite at that point. He also told me if I pushed good and hard it would only take one contraction and I would be done. That sounded like a good idea. It was actually a lot easier for him to say than for me to do. I pushed and it hurt so bad I thought I was going to pass out. I pushed the second time and I told him I was done. I can't take it anymore. I thought at this point I might die. It's happened before. Women have died while giving birth. I thought this was then end for me. He told me one more good push and it would be over. That motivated me a bit. I didn't not want to go through this horrible agony one minute longer. I pushed and when I was done I told him I wasn't going to push anymore. That's it, I was done. He told me it was over, I don't need to do anything. I have a baby girl.

Next thing I know Brian is on the phone with his mom and the nurse was giving me this little purple-colored person to hold. I was still a little bitter about not getting the epidural and I was at a point I didn't want to hold her. She laid on my chest for a few minutes and my anger passed and I was so happy to see that I had a perfect little girl, with a ton of dark brown hair. They offered to put some drugs in my IV and I accepted. May as well get something out of it, right? Plus, while the nurses were cleaning up Brian gave me my "I just went through excruciating pain and had a baby" present. He gave me my first Tiffany & Co. necklace. I love it!!! I love Tiffany & Co. and have asked every year on both Christmas and my birthday for something from there. Finally!! Of course, I better not have to give birth again to get something else. Otherwise, this will be my only necklace. :(

Our little Jillian Carol Louise was born at 4:37 pm (remeber the time I arrived at the hospital, 4 pm, yeah, it only took 37 minutes. The worse 37 minutes of my entire life.) She weighed 6 lbs 2 oz. if you also remember it was predicted that she was already at 7 lbs. I am so glad my doctor was wrong. I don't know how I would have survived a 7 lb baby. She is my smallest baby and she is my sweetest baby. She never fusses and she doesn't cry for more than a few minutes. She is perfect. Okay, I'm totally biased but she is so easy to love.

I have a few pictures posted so go take a look. I also posted a picture of me in final days of pregnancy. I don't look too horrible. Right now, I look pretty horrible, but I'm sure this too will pass.

Very Disappointed

I am so disappointed. I have not gone into labor yet. I have tried everything. I give up. She's never going to get here. No, her due date isn't until November 21st, but regardless, I was hoping she would be early. I felt like she might be. Besides, I don't want to go back to work on Monday. I'm at a point in my pregnancy where people are begining to drive me bonkers. Absolutely bonkers. Not all people, mainly just the people that I was able to tolerate because of my great will power. You know the people who are so annoying you could scream at them and pull their hair out, but you refrain because that's not what people do. Well, I'm at a point that I might not be able to stop myself from screaming and pulling their hair out. I'm so depressed. I'm going to go get a pedicure today. At least when the time comes my toes will look pretty. Hmph! I wish this baby would just cooperate. Why does she have to be so damn stubborn?!

Promising News

Went to the doctor's yesterday. He is "predicting" I will have this baby before Monday. That makes me so happy. He better be right!! I gained one pound, which is fine, especially if she's born in the next couple of days. Also, he predicts her weight is about 7 lbs 4 oz right now. That makes me very happy. Of course, if I go to term she'll weigh over 8, which is what Brian was hoping for. I don't know why he wants me to have a huge baby. She'll already be the biggest one. Jeez!

From Baby to Trash to Hair

You girls are just so sweet. I can't promise that there will be a post the exact day the baby is born, but there will be something soon after. In fact, I'm thinking that I'll have quite a bit of blogging time after the baby is born. Yes, babies can be demanding and time consuming, but they sleep a lot and the other kids aren't here all the time, so I should be a blogging fool in a couple of weeks. I just hope I have a lot to talk about.

Right now you just get a summary of what's been going on.

-My last doctor's appointment was on Halloween. I was pleased that I hadn't gained any weight in the last two weeks putting my total weight gain at 33 pounds. Can you believe it?! I am so happy with myself. My goal was to only gain 25 pounds and be completely healthy and fit for this pregnancy, but I'm pleasantly surprised at 33. I have been a little crazy with the sweets this time around and was worried I would hit 40 or more pounds. Of course, I still have 2 weeks to go and there is Halloween candy leftover.

-I had my first baby shower on Thursday with my work and Brian's family. I now have a large supply of onesies, receiving blankets, and diapers. I didn't get anything big, but we were already given most of the big stuff. I did a load of laundry and I don't think I've ever seen so much pink in my life. And Darby wears a lot of pink.

Darby went to the shower with me and she was so funny. She is usually so reserved and shy around large groups of people but not that night. She was talkative and friendly and social. She is so excited for the baby. Especially now that we have all these new things for her.

-I had my second baby shower yesterday afternoon with my family. It was a small gathering, but I'm glad it worked out that way. My family has a tendency to drive me insane and only having to deal with my mom and sisters was less stressful than if step sisters, a step mom, and sister in law were thrown in too. I was a little peeved about the sister-in-law not coming though. Her daughter just had a baby shower and I attended. Plus, it was the most awful baby shower I have ever been to in my life. My brother decided to hook up with someone who is the epitome of white trash.

Let me just go into my sister-in-law's version (not to be confused with the one my sister had yesterday) of a baby shower since I feel like writing. Darby and I arrive at the shower, on time might I add. We walk in and everything is decorated with baby shower decor and there is a wide variety of food on the table. It looks good. Until you look up and there is a swarm of like twenty flies on the ceiling. Has anyone not heard of a fly swatter? And there's the horrible, horrible smell of smoke filling the air because people are smoking in the kitchen. Yes, smoking. At a baby shower. Um, this isn't a god damn bar, it's a fricking baby shower with pregnant women and babies. My God!! Anyway, to top it off one of the girl's dropped the punch bowl, which broke and cut her hand requiring her to go the emergency room. So, basically that was an excuse to put everything on hold and have all the guests sit there for an hour doing absolutely nothing.

Do you know why we did nothing? I know, you thought I explained it with the emergency room story, but that's not the whole picture. We sat there and did nothing because my sister-in-law thought that was a good time to take a shower and spend the next 45 minutes in the bathroom. WTF!!!! It was seriously tacky. Darby leaned over and asked me if they call it a baby shower because people come and take showers. No Darby, I'm afraid that isn't the reason it's referred to as a baby shower. I guess in the world of white trash, that's the definition of baby shower, but in a civilized world where the rest of us live, a baby shower is nice party, where people eat and drink punch and have pleasant conversation. In a civilized world, people go to baby showers to play cutesy games and give sweet, adorable gifts to the mother to be. It is usually not an event where one host ends up in the emergency room and the other ends up in the bathroom the entire evening while the guests sit around smoking cigarettes and drinking beer. Okay, there wasn't beer that I saw, but I wouldn't have been surprised if there had been.

Anyway, Darby and I managed to sneak out of the party after an hour and half, without playing games, or eating cake, or watching the presents being opened. We did leave with a balloon and the smell of smoke in our clothes and hair. Let me just tell you that I will never go to any sort of party there ever again. I mean, I think my brother's great, but the fact that he picked such a tactless bitch to marry makes me worried that he isn't quite right. Sorry!! I don't mean to be snob but give me a break.

Oh, and to clarify, just because one is poor does not automatically categorize them as white trash. My sister does not have a lot of money but she managed to put together a nice little gathering with decorations, cake, and food. I arrived, and while they weren't quite ready for me, within fifteen minutes we were all sitting around chatting and playing a cutesy game. After which, we moved to the kitchen where I was served my favorite pizza and salad. We then played another game, opened the presents, and had cake. You see how that party flowed? Darby and I were out of there with in an hour and a half. The same time the other party took to do absolutely nothing except serve food and make my poor little girl reek of cigarettes.

Side note: My other shower was even better planned and more organized than my sister's, but that's because the women who threw the shower are meticulous when it comes to details. However, I will spare you all the details. I will only say that it was awesome.

-Moving on, I had my hair done yesterday. Brian says that it doesn't look like $80 hair. I'm not quite sure what he was expecting, but I think I got my $80 worth. I'm only telling you the amount I spent to have my hair done, because it truly is an exceptional deal. For $80 I had my hair cut, colored, highlighted, and my eye brows waxed. This also included the tip. How many places can you have that done for under $100? Not many because I have shopped around. Plus, I love my stylist which I've mentioned here before. Anyway, he said for $80 he expected me to do something different. I didn't feel like different so I did the same and he isn't used to the $80 bill because I usually have my hair colored on a different day than I have it cut. Which is actually more money. She takes of $10 when you get it done at the same time.

Alright, I won't bore you anymore today. I will say that I'm now ready to have this baby and if she would just cooperate and come now I would be a very happy camper. However, it doesn't seem she's ready yet. Rude!

Waiting

Right now, I'm waiting. Waiting to have this baby, waiting to go on maternity leave, waiting to have my baby showers. I just don't have any time to write. You would think with all this waiting I'm doing I would have all sorts of time to do whatever, but I don't. I don't know how often I'll be posting, I'll try to be good. It might not be for awhile, but I'll sure have fun reading what you guys have to say.