I Don't Give A Damn

I'm a grouchy pants lately. I can't help it. I hate lugging this extra weight around. I want this to be over already. The back fat, flabby arms, and thighs that are beginning to touch are making me very depressed. The only thing I have going for me is I haven't developed the cankle syndrome. You know, when your ankles swell so much they look like your leg goes all the way down to your feet. My hands don't look swollen either. However, the rest of me is pretty bloated. Hmph! Plus, the heartburn is almost unbearable.

I have tried everything to hurry the labor along. I have moved furniture upstairs (with Riley's help of course), I have scrubbed the bathroom floor-on my hands and knees mind you, and I have insisted that Brian and I have sex numerous times a day. However, it's usually once a day and sometimes not at all because he falls asleep at night before I even come to bed. He thinks he's soooo tired. Does he not realize I am trying to have a baby here. My God! And he says that I'm just using him for my own motives and it's not nice. Whatever, I am having a baby. I think I should be allowed to use him for whatever I want. Jeez!!!

I am also having issues with the kids. Issues such as I don't really want to share them anymore. I just want them to stay with me and not go back with their dad's even though I know that isn't necessarily what is best for them. I am just in a selfish place right now and I don't feel I should be sharing them with anyone. Is that so hard to understand? Is it??? It's so stressful.

And another thing, I made my mom cry this weekend. I have never felt so horrible in my whole entire life. Darby called her last Sunday and asked if my mom could have her costume done in time for her costume party, which was a week away. My mom of course said she would. She worked on it all week and was certain she could have it done on Sunday before 1:00. At around 10 am Sunday she called and said she was still wrapping things up, she would have the dress done, but not the hat and she would be another hour. I said that was fine we would be waiting for her. A couple hours had passed and we hadn't heard from her. I didn't call because I didn't want to bug her or seem like I was trying to hurry her. It was fine if we were late. Then I get a phone call at 20 minutes to 1:00 from my mom's house. I answer the phone and my mom is frantic and crying and terribly upset. She was trying so hard to have the costume perfect she sewed the top of the skirt on backwards. She was so upset and I felt so bad for making her rush. There was no possible way she would have it done in time.

I told her not to worry, we shouldn't have rushed her and Darby can wear her fairy princess costume from last year. My mom calmed down and Darby told her it would be okay. We put on her fairy costume, which fit better this year than last, and her jewlery and make up and headed out to the party. Everyone loved her costume and no one even knew she wore the same one last year. She came home and called her grandma and told her what fun she had at her party. My mom said she went shopping and treated herself to lunch and felt much better. I still felt guilty for making her cry.

I have a hard time being nice to my mom. I don't agree with very many of her views and I don't cope too well to they way she lives. But, I need to put those things aside and just be nice to her. She tries so hard to be nice and helpful and she's never mean to anyone. I'm so short with her and I avoid her calls. I need to be a good daughter, like my sister who is always being a little kiss up. Not really, but she seems that way sometimes. Anyway, my goal is to not only be nice to my mom, but involve her more in my life. That will make me feel less guilty. I just need to get started.

Count Down

We are getting so fricking close. I can't even believe it. I have way too much to do before the baby gets here. I won't be prepared. I want her to come now, but that would mess everything up.

My schedule for the next couple of weeks is crazy. Let me just write it out for you, because I know your all interested:

Tonight: I have a class I have to take at Riley and Darby's school called a Safe Environment class. It's from 7-9 and it's mandatory if you plan on volunteering at the school. It's this new thing the Catholic schools are doing. It should be interesting.

Sunday: Darby was invited to a costume party from 1-3. I have to go to my mom's and pick up her costume, get her ready, take her to the party, figure out what to do with Riley while I'm at the party, bring Darby home from the party and take her to her dad's pronto because I usually have them back by 3 or sooner. I'm sure Brian will hang out with Riley, but there's all sorts of running around to do. Ugh!!

Wednesday: I have my first volunteer day at Riley's school from 10-11. Brian hates that I do it in the middle of the day because it requires a lot of driving and a lot of gas, but the schedule doesn't work out any other way. They're busy all morning and if I do it in the afternoon I'll have to leave work almost three hours early. That's not good. Anyway, it's only every other week so it's not that big of a deal. Right?

Friday: I'm taking a half day to pick up the kids and bring them trick or treating at my work. They did it last year and had so much fun. They passed out little bags of candy to the grown ups and they thought that was pretty cool. Plus, they get to show off their homemade costumes my mom makes for them.

Saturday: I'm making a special Halloween dinner and dessert for the kids and we watch a Halloween movie. We might play games or something, but we mostly just hang out on the Saturday before Halloween and have fun.

Sunday: We go to Boo at the Zoo. This is a little event the zoo has and all the kids dress up in their costumes and walk around to different booths and games and of course you can see all the animals. It's really fun and I want to do it as many years as possible before they get tired of the zoo.

Monday: It's Halloween!! My favorite holiday. I love it even more than Christmas. I don't have big plans, but I do have a doctor's appointment in the morning. They have to do an exam. Ugh!! I told Brian he didn't need to come for this one. He didn't argue with me. I might be volunteering in Darby's class for her Halloween party, but I haven't heard back from her teacher yet. Then I let their dad have them for trick or treating. That's fine with me because I like to pass out the candy and see all the kids dressed up. It's fun.

Thursday: I have my first baby shower. This one is hosted by some women at work who are so nice and fabulous and they have been buying and giving me baby stuff the entire pregnancy. I can't wait until the shower. They throw good parties, so I'm sure there will be a lot going on. I had them invite Brian's family because my boss is Brian's sister in law's aunt. Does that make sense? Anyway, I thought this would be better than going to my family's shower.

Either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday: My mom is going to throw another baby shower for me. This will consist of only my family, which is fine. Besides, it can be a pretty big group once you get everyone together. They better all show up!!

Saturday: I have an appointment to have my hair cut, colored, highlighted, and my brows waxed. I am going to look damn good after giving birth. Damn good. :)

I would love for the baby to arrive early. I can not wait until she is ready to get here. However, she needs to wait until at least 11-7-05 or she will be in big trouble. I am much too busy until then.

This Is All I Have This Week

I have pictures. First is the set of the girls' room. We have so much more done than what's in the pictures, however, those will have to come later. Right now, the pictures I have show the room painted and the wallpaper border with out furniture. Soon I will have pictures with the furniture. It looks so cute right now. I'm so excited.

I also have pictures of Chloe's first birthday party. We threw her a little party and even Brian's parents came over to celebrate.

Enjoy!

It Was Obnoxious, I Know

This morning Brian and I were getting ready when he calls up from downstairs, "will you throw me some socks down?"

"Okay."

I go to the dresser and grab some blue socks at the exact moment he yells something else. I didn't hear what he said. I asked 'what?' but he didn't respond.

I look down the stairs and see him looking intently at the TV. Something more important had caught his attention. I throw the socks down at him and they hit him in the head. "Why did you do that?" he asked me. "Why would you throw these socks at my head? That is so rude." Then he looks at the socks, "not only did you throw these socks at my head, you threw blue socks at my head. I asked specifically for tan socks. Not blue. Why would you do that?"

"I didn't mean to throw them at your head. I'm sorry they hit you in the head. I was just tossing them down the stairs. I meant to aim for your feet, not your head. Besides, I didn't hear you ask for tan socks. You just said socks."

"I yelled that I wanted tan. You must not have heard me. I can't believe you threw them at my head."

"I'm sorry," I said again for the millionth time, "I didn't mean to hit you in the head."

I turned and walked back into the bedroom with a huge smile. I was aiming for his head. I couldn't help it. I don't like being ignored. Sheesh!

More Of the Same

It’s 6:30 in the morning and I’m at work. I have been awake since about 3 am, not able to sleep. I try not to let my worries haunt me, but lately they have been. Lately, I have been freaking out about all the things that I must get done in the next 6 weeks-or possibly less.

My desk at work is an absolute mess. I can’t leave it like this. I can’t. I know it’s not really my problem when I go on maternity leave, but I want everything clean and clear. I don’t want to come back to an even bigger mess. Ugh!!!

On a positive note the girls’ room is almost finished. We have the walls painted, the chair rail put up and the border hung. We actually finished a lot this weekend with the help of Brian’s parents. It looks so cute. I have pictures, I just need to fricking post them because I’m such a slacker. Now we just need to move the furniture back in and the room will be all ready for our little baby. I’m excited.

Right now I am so stinking tired. I would leave early but my schedule is pretty full today. I have to do some training at 10:30, in preparation for my leave, I have a brow wax at 12:30, and I have a meeting at 1:30 with HR about maternity leave. I want to go home now, but I can’t. I hate when I can’t sleep. I need my sleep.

A New Tradition

We started a new tradition last night. Riley finally lost that tooth that has been grossing me out and it was time for the tooth fairy to make his first appearance in our house. Right now, all three kids are sleeping in the same room since Darby's is still not done and there is no way I could have possibly got in there to trade out the tooth for cash with out waking anyone up, so we changed the rules a bit. First, Brian has decided that the tooth bunny is going to be visiting our house rather than the tooth fairy. He always has to be different. Second, I found a little container, actually a candle holder, to put the tooth in. We set it on the kitchen table. Next, we had Riley write the tooth bunny a note. It said, verbatim, "Dear Tooth Bunny, I won't accept less than $2.25, but I won't accept more than $5.00. Love Riley :)

The tooth bunny apparently accepted Riley's offer and left him $3.50. He was a very happy little boy this morning and the other kids were also amazed at Riley's new fortune. It's fun to mix things up.

I'm A Bad Blogger

But, I have been so super busy at work, which is typically where I have been able to blog. For some reason this time of year is very busy in our department. That reminds me of the stupid saying Brian is always quoting, "excuses are like assholes, everybody has one but no one wants to hear it" or something like that. I always tell him he's disgusting and not to say it anymore. He doesn't seem to hear me.

Anyway, I wish so badly I had something great and wonderful to write about. I wish I had something to bitch about or interesting news to relay, but I don't. I'm okay with that. I suppose it's good not having much going on. So below will be little snippets of the most exciting things going on in my life right now. Be prepared to not think they're so great. :)

Riley is about to lose a front tooth. This will be his first front tooth he loses. It's grossing me out a little because it's not loose enough to pull out, but it's loose enough to be hanging haphazardly in his mouth. Blech!

Riley and Darby had a fabulous time at Disney World, like I knew they would. Darby wasn't eaten by any crocodiles. I was a little worried about that. Don't ask me why. Brian said the crocodiles wouldn't eat her because she's too mean. Still, I worried. Anyway, they are back safe and sound and I'm glad they were able to go, even if it was with out me. Besides, who knows if I'll ever get a chance to take them again. That would be a mighty expensive trip for Brian and I to take. Two adults and four kids. Not only expensive, but that's a trip that might make us lose our insanity.

The other day I was adjusting my shirt in the mirror at work and just broke out laughing. I can not believe how freaking huge my tummy is. The profile view is insane. It just made me laugh. I don't even know why. I'm glad no one else was in the bathroom at the time. Don't worry. I will definitely have a pic posted soon. I have to have this thing documented. It's gigantic.

The kids have this new found love for Garfield. We've been renting them the Garfield and Friends TV show and apparently it is the funniest damn thing ever. You can hear them a mile away laughing at Garfield and Odie and they're always making reference to it, like one might do with Seinfeld. It's silly.

Tomorrow I have to take the day off. I say I have to because it really wasn't by choice. I didn't realize the kids didn't have school today and tomorrow. I could only find someone to watch them for today. Not that I don't want a day off or that I don't want to hang out with them, it's just I would rather it be on my terms. That's okay. We'll have fun. Besides, in a couple of weeks I'll be enjoying a leisurely 6 week break. Um, yeah, leisurely.

Anyway, I have approximately 7 weeks left. I can not wait. On Thanksgiving I plan to drink a lot of wine from a box and eat absolutely nothing. I will probably eat, but I think I've done plenty of eating the past couple of months and not nearly enough drinking. (I haven't even had a sip.)