Pink Sheets

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I Don't Give A Damn

I'm a grouchy pants lately. I can't help it. I hate lugging this extra weight around. I want this to be over already. The back fat, flabby arms, and thighs that are beginning to touch are making me very depressed. The only thing I have going for me is I haven't developed the cankle syndrome. You know, when your ankles swell so much they look like your leg goes all the way down to your feet. My hands don't look swollen either. However, the rest of me is pretty bloated. Hmph! Plus, the heartburn is almost unbearable.

I have tried everything to hurry the labor along. I have moved furniture upstairs (with Riley's help of course), I have scrubbed the bathroom floor-on my hands and knees mind you, and I have insisted that Brian and I have sex numerous times a day. However, it's usually once a day and sometimes not at all because he falls asleep at night before I even come to bed. He thinks he's soooo tired. Does he not realize I am trying to have a baby here. My God! And he says that I'm just using him for my own motives and it's not nice. Whatever, I am having a baby. I think I should be allowed to use him for whatever I want. Jeez!!!

I am also having issues with the kids. Issues such as I don't really want to share them anymore. I just want them to stay with me and not go back with their dad's even though I know that isn't necessarily what is best for them. I am just in a selfish place right now and I don't feel I should be sharing them with anyone. Is that so hard to understand? Is it??? It's so stressful.

And another thing, I made my mom cry this weekend. I have never felt so horrible in my whole entire life. Darby called her last Sunday and asked if my mom could have her costume done in time for her costume party, which was a week away. My mom of course said she would. She worked on it all week and was certain she could have it done on Sunday before 1:00. At around 10 am Sunday she called and said she was still wrapping things up, she would have the dress done, but not the hat and she would be another hour. I said that was fine we would be waiting for her. A couple hours had passed and we hadn't heard from her. I didn't call because I didn't want to bug her or seem like I was trying to hurry her. It was fine if we were late. Then I get a phone call at 20 minutes to 1:00 from my mom's house. I answer the phone and my mom is frantic and crying and terribly upset. She was trying so hard to have the costume perfect she sewed the top of the skirt on backwards. She was so upset and I felt so bad for making her rush. There was no possible way she would have it done in time.

I told her not to worry, we shouldn't have rushed her and Darby can wear her fairy princess costume from last year. My mom calmed down and Darby told her it would be okay. We put on her fairy costume, which fit better this year than last, and her jewlery and make up and headed out to the party. Everyone loved her costume and no one even knew she wore the same one last year. She came home and called her grandma and told her what fun she had at her party. My mom said she went shopping and treated herself to lunch and felt much better. I still felt guilty for making her cry.

I have a hard time being nice to my mom. I don't agree with very many of her views and I don't cope too well to they way she lives. But, I need to put those things aside and just be nice to her. She tries so hard to be nice and helpful and she's never mean to anyone. I'm so short with her and I avoid her calls. I need to be a good daughter, like my sister who is always being a little kiss up. Not really, but she seems that way sometimes. Anyway, my goal is to not only be nice to my mom, but involve her more in my life. That will make me feel less guilty. I just need to get started.

13 Comments:

  • so.. how does having sex hurry the baby along? Does all that poking loosen it or something and make it fall? Or is thew baby so traumatized at finding out her parents are like bunnies that she's trying to move out as soon as possible?

    My thighs touch. Now I feel all fat and uncool because you said that's not a good thing. sigh. have your baby already. :P

    By Blogger cat, at 6:20 PM, October 25, 2005  

  • I never had heartburn. I did burp a lot though.

    I agree. Brian should be your sex slave at this point. Next time he falls asleep, you should wake him up and demand sex.

    I don't want my kids to go to their dad's either. I'm starting to hate him. I'm trying not to for my kids' sake, but I'm realizing more and more every day that I devoted myself to a really selfish bastard and I feel stupid for it.

    How did you make your mom cry? It sounds like she put that pressure on herself. It's not your fault and you and Darby handled it very well. I wouldn't feel guilty if I were you. I have a hard time getting along with my mom too. Sometimes I don't pick up the phone either. It's OK. We're allowed that space now that we're adults.

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 4:36 AM, October 26, 2005  

  • Oh, and PS...my thighs aren't supposed to touch? Dammit...I don't think they've ever been apart. They must have a love affair of some kind...

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 4:36 AM, October 26, 2005  

  • Cat, I think the having sex to start labor is one of the many wives' tales, sort of like drinking castor oil. I don't think anything can really make you go into labor, but I figure I may as well try. :)

    Alright, I got in trouble at work for the thighs touching thing too. I'm a jerk. However, you all may have thighs touching BUT I have all that other crap going on with me so I can complain a little. Right? :)

    And Lass, your right, I shouldn't be so hard on myself, but I am kind of mean to my mom. I need to be nice!!! Argh!! That is getting so difficult these days.

    By the way, you guys are my favorite!!!! (I'm trying to kiss up.)

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 5:31 AM, October 26, 2005  

  • Actually, I don't think the sex to stimulate labor is an old wives tale. I've had doctors recommend it, and they even talked about it in my birthing class. Something about stimulation of the cervix to get it going. :P Sounds like a damn good reason to me! Hell...any reason to have sex is a damn good reason for me! :D

    We forgive your skinny ass Jolynn. We love you even though you're thin. :)

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 7:04 AM, October 26, 2005  

  • Try doing squats (while holding onto something with your hands for balance). Seriously? Worked for me wonderfully! Plus, it develops those labor muscles you'll need for pushing.

    Brian has it too easy. If you want sex, by God, HAVE SEX! He should be thanking God, really. Doesn't EVERY guy want a wife who begs for it constantly?

    Um. That doesn't sound like YOU made her cry. It sounds like she got a little anxious about the whole thing, but I don't think YOU did that.

    By Blogger Queen of Ass, at 7:30 AM, October 26, 2005  

  • Yes, any "reason" to have sex is a good one. And hey, maybe it will work. That would make me sooo very happy!!

    And I'm glad you still love me!!!!

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 7:41 AM, October 26, 2005  

  • PS--Everyone will be happy to know that Brian has changed his ways and has not been as tired as he has been in the past. We'll see how today works out, but yesterday he was all about helping along my labor. Too much info? :)

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 1:50 PM, October 26, 2005  

  • ::big hugs::

    By Blogger Christie, at 7:05 AM, October 27, 2005  

  • Woo Hoo! Jolynn gonna get some! ;P

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 8:41 AM, October 27, 2005  

  • hahahha!! Touching thighs...I've got them. Tell Brian to get the sex now...cause you'll be off limits for a little while later! Sorry your mom was stressed...but you didn't do anything to cause that. I bet Darcy was adorable!!!

    By Blogger Envoy-ette, at 7:56 AM, November 01, 2005  

  • *ding dong* Anyone home?

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 2:50 PM, November 02, 2005  

  • I know, I'm bad. I have a little tiny post. I'm just trying to stay on top of things at work and when I'm home I'm so stinking busy!!! Argh!!

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 7:00 AM, November 03, 2005  

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