I Feel A Little Grouchy

*There was a consumer report about a certain brand of coffee that they rated high. It costs $3.88 at Walmart. I have been to Fred Meyer, Target, Cost Plus, and Winco and know one, so far, sells this coffee except for Walmart. And apparently I wasn't the only one who read the Consumer Report because it has been selling out ever since. Fortunately, when we did find it in stock Brian stocked up.

*Jillian is so shy. She is shy to the point that it makes me sad when I see little outgoing, smiley, happy babies. However, we went to Riley's baseball evaluation on Saturday and she played with this little boy for an hour, talking and bossing him around and telling him to not point at her because it wasn't polite and asking what his dad's name was and informing him that "my mom is driving me crazy". So, I think there might be hope for her.

*I watched the Academy Awards this year. Well, half of it anyway and I forgot that I liked watching it. I hadn't watched in many years. Maybe I will again next year. I love Kate Winslet.

*We also watched Tropic Thunder this weekend. Well, the kids and I did. Brian fell asleep--AGAIN! It's like movies just put him in a trance and he's out. It was actually pretty funny. Okay, we also watched Bowling for Columbine and he stayed awake for all of that movie. Those documentaries get you all fired up. They make Brian mad for weeks. Not the bad kind of mad, the funny kind of mad. You know what I mean?

*I'm still grouchy and I haven't wanted to chit chat today, but people are chit chatting with me and it put me in a better mood. Sort of. Like the lady that works in the cafeteria went out of her way to greet me even though I was going out of my way not be greeted and it kind of threw me off. There's just no reason for me to be grouchy.

More About Oprah

I know. I'm sorry. I've turned into an Oprah follower but I can't help it. I just like watching her show (mostly) and reading her magazine. I'm addicted. I loved this article in November's issue "What Do You Know For Sure?". Oprah's first one is, "what you put out comes back all the time, no matter what." I truly believe this and I try to be good. I really do. Sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I'm mean. So I figure if I do something nice it will all even out, but I don't know that it works that way. And then I think about mean people and how this should really be effecting them and that it doesn't seem like it does, but it's really none of my business how the cosmic universe decides to punish or reward others, and how me wishing punishment on others for their bad behavior is probably going to get me punished. So, I try and mind my own business but I'm not very good at that either.



I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but I was just thinking about the article. And they had other people answering the question, not just Oprah, but that would definitely be the one thing that I know for sure. Everything else I'm a little fuzzy on. Except I do know that kids are weird. I know this for sure because I live with 4 of them and they are all weird and different. Even when they think they're normal. Kids are not normal. They are weird and very unpredictable. I like that because adults are mostly predictable. Except for Brian. You never know what he might do or say. I like it.

Okay, enough Oprah talk. It's almost the weekend and I've had a pretty okay week. I have worked out every day this week. I'm so proud of myself, yet I'm still about 9 lbs way too have and 12-15 lbs heavier than I want to be. So I will continue to work out like every day. Wish me luck!

Well, it's almost the end of the week and I am ready for the weekend. I did take yesterday off, but it wasn't enough. I need the whole week off. However, I should probably conserve my time off considering it's only February. It reminds of a little snippet from the TV show The Office where the girl is talking about her time off and how she tries to wait as long as she can to take her vacation and this year she waited until the third week of January. I told my boss that was like me. He thought that was pretty funny.

Work is pretty slow. It's good because now I have time to blog, but a little bit scary. However, I was assured that as long as the company was still around and the mills were still running we all have a job. We did our layoff in November and there hasn't been any rumors more were on the way. But, you never know.

We haven't made any plans for Valentine's Day. We usually take Valentine's Day off, but this year it's on a Saturday so I'm pretty sure that would be a waste of a vacation day. So... we don't have anything planned. I think we should take Jillian to the Olive Garden because for some reason, every time she sees it, she says she needs to go to "The Garden". At first I didn't even know what the heck she was talking about. I don't even know how she would know about The Olive Garden. She's bizarre.

She's so bizzare she tried to give her dad a valentine that she made for Riley. She might have better luck when she's able to read because it said right on the front to Riley from Jelly Belly. I'll have to let her make one this weekend for her dad.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Not What It Seems

Riley has a friend named Gavin. This is usually not something I would write about, but it reminds me of a girl I grew up with. I have known her since I was 4 years old but only because circumstances made us know each other, not because we were friends. Don't get me wrong. I wanted to be her friend. She was always popular and pretty, but we weren't really friends.

I was friends with the girl who lived across the street from her and the girl who lived next door, so sometimes the above circumstances I was talking about would bring us all together for "play dates". They lived in a cul-de-sac. I did not live in that cul-de-sac. I lived a block or so away, but I could see the girl's house from my house. The girl was Audra. See, she even has that perfect name.

So, every time I hear Riley and Gavin I think of this "perfect" girl. We'll get to why in a moment. Since I was 4 years old I thought this girl had the perfect life.

Let's just run down the differences in our lives. So I thought.

My mom and dad fought constantly when I was in grade school up until they divorced when I was in 9th grade. Every one knew this. The entire neighborhood knew. The Mormon church we went to knew. Everyone knew. Her parents didn't even allow her to come to my birthday parties because of this. I remember one year she stopped by and gave me a gift and left immediately after.

Her parents never fought. There were 8 kids in her family and her mom stayed home in this huge house that was always clean and perfect and raised her 8 kids while her father worked at his law firm downtown. They held high positions in that Mormon church. They were the perfect couple.

She always wore the most stylish clothes. We shopped at Shopko. (Until I was older. I dressed okay, but didn't have nearly the selection.)

Her parents had a Cadillac. My mom drove an old station wagon.

Her siblings were popular. My siblings were my siblings. (Let's just put it that way.)

She drove a nicer car than my mom when we were in high school. I didn't even have my driver's license.

Her boyfriend was a popular football player. My boyfriend dropped out of school.

Her parents stayed married and she continued to live in that perfect house in that perfect neighborhood.

My parents divorced and I had to move with my mom and sisters out of our 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom apartment on a questionable side of town.

She was prom queen. I barely made it to prom because the loser boyfriend got high.

Then it happened. Her perfect streak broke and as time went on I learned more and more about how imperfect perfect families can be.

As it turns out, while being crowned prom queen she was also pregnant, but no one ever knew. Nor did we know after we graduated. We did know that her and her football player boyfriend broke up and he started dating her best friend. She went away for the summer. She was suppose to go away, have the baby and give him up for adoption. The last part didn't happen. She came back from her trip with a baby boy named Gavin Riley.

Later on I also learned that her dad was having an affair with his secretary. For years and years, I'm not sure when it started but we were still in school and it probably continues to this day. His wife knows.

So, having a long term affair is okay as long as every one keeps their mouths shut, but whatever you do don't have arguments in your home.

Anyway, I finally realized that life isn't what you think it is. No one is perfect. I have a harsh view of the Mormon church after growing up with all of these lies. This of course wasn't the only lie. The girl who lived across the street from Audra also had family secrets. As it turns out her father revealed he was gay and her parents finally divorced as well. After all of the kids had grown up and moved out, of course. He lived miserably for over 20 years and made his wife miserable all because being gay doesn't fit into the perfect Mormon life. One time my friend told me she came home after school and her mom was locked in her room. She later learned her mom was contemplating suicide.

How messed up is that?

My mom gets offended when I say anything bad about the Mormon church and I do not understand why. She tried to push that religion on me even after I moved out of her house. She had missionaries calling my phone. It made me so mad. She finally stopped. We don't discuss religion but every once in awhile she makes comments about how I choose to handle my life. Just little ones. Nothing major. And I just think what a bunch of hypocrites. Give me a break. I may not be religious and I may have live with my boyfriend who is not my husband and may have his baby out of wedlock (what a weird phrase) but we don't lie about our lives. I don't pretend. So whose better?

I don't know what made me think of all of this. I guess Riley was talking about Gavin yesterday.

I am in the best mood this morning. I can't explain it. I feel chipper. This scares me. I don't want someone to put me in a different mood and sometimes this place I work at can put you in a way different mood than the one I'm in. I want to stay in this mood. Just concentrate...on staying in this great frame of mind.

We watched Burn After Reading the other night. Well, I did. Brian fell asleep. I can't believe he fell asleep because I really liked that movie. It was funny and disturbing. My least favorite characters were the ones played by George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I don't know why exactly and it's surprising because, hello, George Clooney and Brad Pitt, but I didn't really care for them.

Well, I'm going to be getting ready for an extremely busy weekend with the kids. I'm looking forward to it. Sort of. We have baseball sign-ups and Riley and Jordan will be practicing for these games that their church group is involved in. One practice in the morning, one in the afternoon. I am letting Darby go to McCall this weekend, so I guess she's taken care of. But then there's Jillian. Always tagging along to different events. Hopefully she'll be in a good mood. You never know with that one.

Have a great week!