Acceptance

I don’t know why I didn’t want to discuss this with Brian. I think I was scared. I didn’t necessarily believe he would be angry about the situation, but I thought he would be unhappy and maybe freak out a little. Everything in our relationship has been going really good thus far and I may have thought that this event would push it off course. I assumed that by saying two little words to him, “I’m pregnant”, I would be sabotaging everything we had together. I know, it sounds dramatic.

I was a little off. When he first looked into the white bag and saw the pregnancy test in there, he thought he would pick it up and find a negative result and throw it away. He would be able to put the “I haven’t started my period yet. It’s Wednesday and for the past three years I have always started on Sunday. Always,” behind him, or rather us. But, he picked up the test and realized it wasn’t negative. It was obviously positive. I think he may have been sick. I’m not sure. I didn’t want to talk to him right then.

After he drank the several glasses of wine he was more relaxed and it didn’t seem like such a burden. Just a shock. What the hell are we going to do with four kids? We don’t have room for four kids, we don’t have a car equipped to fit four kids and a dog. What are we going to do? But then that stuffs gets pushed aside. You do what you have to do. We’ll get a new car and we have made tentative plans to move out of the little house to a much bigger house in two years or so, hopefully. Now we get to the important part. Do you want a boy or a girl? What do you think of this name if it’s a boy, what about this name if it’s a girl?

Whenever we go out we always notice all the baby things, “look how much cuter girl stuff is than boy stuff,” I always comment. Even though I don’t care which one the baby is. Okay I want a girl a little more than a I do a boy, but I’m not going to care when we have a boy, if in fact it is a boy. And it would be so perfect if we had a girl. Two boys and two girls. That is the exact reason I’m predicting a baby boy, which would make me perfectly happy.

We already went to my first doctor’s appointment. They took a huge supply of blood from me. Uck!! I hate that part. They also did the ever fun exam (sarcasm), while Brian pretended to be looking at a magazine. We didn’t get to hear the baby’s heart beat at that appointment because it was too soon. That was okay because my doctor scheduled me for an ultrasound that next week. We have our first baby picture and Brian has labeled it with the age, heartbeat, and length. (I’m sure it will be posted soon.) So as of today I am only 10 weeks along. I have a huge amount of time to go. We have made the announcement sort of early. I think there's a rule about waiting three months, so I'm two weeks early. Oh well. Hopefully there will be no more surprises.

It’s weird. Once the shock wears off, it feels okay to be excited and happy about this. Everything always works out and this will too.

Any yes, Cat I lied to you. You had guessed my surprise ending. Brat!! Do you open your Christmas presents before Christmas and rewrap them too? :)