Feeling Confused

Well, today has been frustrating for me. Whatever could go wrong did and I'm dealing with some serious feelings of jealousy that I have never experienced. I don't even know if it's fair to me to call what I feel jealous. Because essentially, I'm not jealous. I just don't know another way to describe it.

Amanda told me the other week that she sold her house and bought a new one. I am so genuinely happy for her. She lived in a much smaller house and has been wanting to move for quite awhile now. I think it's great everything worked out for her and I want to know all the details of the improvements she's doing and how the moving is going.

The opposite is true for another co-worker who seems to have a lot going on for her. I don't want to hear another word about it. I feel like I don't even want to speak to her anymore. It's almost as if she's rubbing it in my face. Like she is so happy these things are going on for her and not me. Like I will never have the things she has, which I don't believe to be true, and to tell you the truth, I want none of the things she has. And yet, when she speaks to me about them I get snippy, making me sound jealous. I hate it. And I'm not very competitive. I don't like to try and up people. I think it's rude.