Sorry To Post a Shocker (Below)

I thought I should just post it before I couldn't do it anymore. Last night my sister brought my brother's dog Corky over for a visit. He loved this dog. He went every where with my brother. He is the cutest little Pug dog I have ever seen. My sister is keeping him for now, but it isn't permanent. I wish my house could be permanent, but Corky is used to being with someone always. With Brian and I leaving before 7 every morning and not returning until after 6 it wouldn't be the ideal home for such a great dog. I'm confident we will find him a good and happy home with someone close to our family, not the ex-wife. (Did that sound bitter, sorry.)

Here is a little background on my brother. He was 39 years old on November 22nd. He had an ulcer and neglected to get it checked out and it got to the point that his body could no longer handle it. It was just one of those awful, unexpected events that no one could have predicted. Regardless of the guilt my parents feel, nothing could have been done differently except my brother going in to see the doctor. And honestly, I don't think it's as easy as that. It's my understanding that he had a doctor's appointment scheduled the week he passed away.

My brother and I weren't "close". I loved my brother and always thought he was a great, loving person, but we didn't talk or see each other often. It's not sinking in yet. I wouldn't have talked to my brother tomorrow or probably the next day, the loss hasn't had a sudden impact. It's going to take me a long time to wrap my brain around this. Christmas will be strange. Even with the funeral it doesn't seem real. I know something isn't right, but I still think about events coming up and wonder, "is my brother going to be there", and then it hits me that he won't. Like I keep forgetting but I don't. Sometimes I feel sad. Last night, I was so happy to see that dog. I really want that dog. Maybe I should quit my job and be a stay at home dog owner. :)