Pink Sheets

Friday, February 10, 2006

Girl Next Door

Oh my God, I love this song by Saving Jane. It is the perfect song. I always hated all those popular, pretty, perfect girls in high school.

Small town homecoming queen
Shes the star in this scene
Theres no way to deny shes lovely
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside shes ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

At least I thought they were popular and perfect, but no one really knows how perfect ones life really is or isn't. In fact, I believe our prom queen was pregnant at the time of prom and shortly after we graduated she moved down South somewhere for a couple of months before returning with a baby. Of course, I saw her at my high school reunion and she is not doing shabby, even now. It's not like having the baby ruined her chances of living her suburban house wife life. No, she still looks really good and pretty and skinny and tall and now I even think she has bigger boobs. Go figure.

She is the prom queen
I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader
I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

I wasn't in the marching band, but I was definitely sitting in the stands. Actually I rarely even did that. I was more like the kid behind the stands smoking the cigarettes. Not literally. I didn't smoke (at least not until after high school), but I hung out with people who smoked and they would never do it behind the stands. Much too easy to get caught that way.

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutante
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

There were a few girls I would have liked to hit back then. Not so much anymore. I think I'm over it. Maybe. Okay, I'm still a little bitter I didn't have this wonderful high school experience. I wish I would have been more involved and not so--drugged up, perhaps.

But not just any drugs. No, I wasn't one that just liked to sit around all day and smoke pot. In fact, I hated smoking pot. I was always the sober one in the room when everyone else was sitting in the proverbial smoke filled circle. Ugh, I hated that smell. No, my drug of choice was the one that literally kept you high. And skinny. And paranoid. And all those other lovely side effects that come with a two week drug binge. After awhile that nasty drug got old and thankfully I quit before it completely consumed me. But, I did like the occasional hallucinogen. The ones that took you on a little trip to Care Bear Land. That was sure fun. Of course, I hear there were other places you could go. Places that weren't as nice as Care Bear Land. I never wanted to visit those places.

I'm so glad I grew out of that little phase. I think it's one of the reasons high school wasn't fun.

She is the prom queen
I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh an I'm just the girl next door

I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishin that I was someone else

I definitely wished I was someone else. All the time. I would day dream about being one of those girls. There's something Brian always says about wishing and I really hate it so I'm not going to quote him, but it's true. You can't wish for something impossible. I just was not one of those girls and will never be one and I'm finally okay with that. I'm finally happy and content with my life the way it is and I wouldn't change a thing. Though, when I get around those girls, I still feel the same dopey way I did in high school.

10 Comments:

  • i'm glad i wasnt one of those girls. i was always envious of them in high school, but now i realise they were just bitches who bullied the ones who werent like them.

    By Blogger The Toothfairy, at 9:24 AM, February 10, 2006  

  • That is so true. They were mean. High school girls are cruel.

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 9:50 AM, February 10, 2006  

  • I am expeiencing that cruelty of high school girls right now with my daughter and I am not looking forward to this experience.

    By Anonymous Kristy, at 10:20 AM, February 10, 2006  

  • Ohh, I know. I don't want any of my kids to ever be picked on. It's so heart breaking to even think about. Of course, I don't want them to be the ones picking on kids either. I just want them to be nice and happy.

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 10:35 AM, February 10, 2006  

  • Growing up REALLY is hard isnt it. I have been back to 3 reunions and it does kinda make you feel a little weird. You know like you I really do like who I am now and its so much fun being a dad:-}

    By Blogger truckdriver_sefl, at 11:50 AM, February 10, 2006  

  • Wow, you went to three? I'm thinking after the one I'm not going back. We had a weak reunion. It was nothing like I expected.

    Yes, being a parent is definitely interesting and at times, a lot of fun. :)

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 3:11 PM, February 10, 2006  

  • I think you are beautiful, funny and the best mom! You don't need to wish to be anyone else...because you are GREAT already.

    By Blogger Envoy-ette, at 8:09 PM, February 10, 2006  

  • You are so sweet.*hugs*

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 6:32 AM, February 11, 2006  

  • high school reuninons are very inadvisable to go to, unless you really, really liked high school. I hated high school (being a dork then & now), but thought that it would be great to go to a reunion b/c I thought I was so much cooler now. That little bubble was burst pretty much in the first 5 minutes, and I was back in the lunchroom in 9th grade, not knowing what to say, or what do do with my hands. Ugh.

    By Blogger Marguerite, at 10:34 AM, February 16, 2006  

  • Oh my God, that's hilarious. That is exactly what I felt like. You go thinking this is going to be like some movie where you'll finally have your moment to show everybody how great you are and then you walk in and everyone is exactly the same!

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 2:00 PM, February 16, 2006  

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