Girl Next Door

Oh my God, I love this song by Saving Jane. It is the perfect song. I always hated all those popular, pretty, perfect girls in high school.

Small town homecoming queen
Shes the star in this scene
Theres no way to deny shes lovely
Perfect skin perfect hair
Perfumed hearts everywhere
Tell myself that inside shes ugly
Maybe I'm just jealous
I can't help but hate her
Secretly I wonder if my boyfriend wants to date her

At least I thought they were popular and perfect, but no one really knows how perfect ones life really is or isn't. In fact, I believe our prom queen was pregnant at the time of prom and shortly after we graduated she moved down South somewhere for a couple of months before returning with a baby. Of course, I saw her at my high school reunion and she is not doing shabby, even now. It's not like having the baby ruined her chances of living her suburban house wife life. No, she still looks really good and pretty and skinny and tall and now I even think she has bigger boobs. Go figure.

She is the prom queen
I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader
I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door

I wasn't in the marching band, but I was definitely sitting in the stands. Actually I rarely even did that. I was more like the kid behind the stands smoking the cigarettes. Not literally. I didn't smoke (at least not until after high school), but I hung out with people who smoked and they would never do it behind the stands. Much too easy to get caught that way.

Senior class president
She must be heaven sent
She was never the last one standing
A backseat debutante
Everything that you want
Never to harsh or too demanding
Maybe I'll admit it
I'm a little bitter
Everybody loves her but I just wanna hit her

There were a few girls I would have liked to hit back then. Not so much anymore. I think I'm over it. Maybe. Okay, I'm still a little bitter I didn't have this wonderful high school experience. I wish I would have been more involved and not so--drugged up, perhaps.

But not just any drugs. No, I wasn't one that just liked to sit around all day and smoke pot. In fact, I hated smoking pot. I was always the sober one in the room when everyone else was sitting in the proverbial smoke filled circle. Ugh, I hated that smell. No, my drug of choice was the one that literally kept you high. And skinny. And paranoid. And all those other lovely side effects that come with a two week drug binge. After awhile that nasty drug got old and thankfully I quit before it completely consumed me. But, I did like the occasional hallucinogen. The ones that took you on a little trip to Care Bear Land. That was sure fun. Of course, I hear there were other places you could go. Places that weren't as nice as Care Bear Land. I never wanted to visit those places.

I'm so glad I grew out of that little phase. I think it's one of the reasons high school wasn't fun.

She is the prom queen
I'm in the marching band
She is a cheerleader I'm sittin in the stands
She gets the top bunk I'm sleepin on the floor
Shes Miss America and I'm just the girl next door
Oh an I'm just the girl next door

I don't know why I'm feelin sorry for myself
I spend all my time wishin that I was someone else

I definitely wished I was someone else. All the time. I would day dream about being one of those girls. There's something Brian always says about wishing and I really hate it so I'm not going to quote him, but it's true. You can't wish for something impossible. I just was not one of those girls and will never be one and I'm finally okay with that. I'm finally happy and content with my life the way it is and I wouldn't change a thing. Though, when I get around those girls, I still feel the same dopey way I did in high school.