Pink Sheets

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

"All the lies that you told, just to ease your own soul"

I was listening to these words when I experienced my first, real incident of road rage. I usually don’t even deal with the morning time traffic because Brian always drives. He’s the one cursing at and gesturing to the idiot drivers that seem to consume the roads. We decided to drive separately this morning and I was taking Riley and Darby to school and Brian was taking Jillian to Grandma’s.

I’m driving along, going the speed limit, minding my own business and listening to Ashlee Simpson. You know for Darby. Darby loves Ashlee Simpson. So I’m listening to the music, singing along when we approach an intersection. I start to slow down because the car in front of me has their brake lights on. We’re still pretty far from the intersection, but if you want to slow down three blocks before you make a right turn-whatever! I can handle that, but we progressively get slower and slower until we practically stop. Hey lady! There is a green light up there. It is green! It’s not red, it’s not a stop sign. It is a GREEN light. Get moving! Still she stops then goes, stops then goes, finally we actually get to the intersection and she completely stops. The light is still green, which I’m amazed because we just spent three minutes stopping and going. At this point I am uber pissed. I am yelling and cussing and stopping hard and finally when she is just sitting at the green light I start honking my horn. “Go you old hag!” I’m yelling. Finally she goes and I can pass that old grandma! Ugh! I’m so mad! Idiot!

I’m sure your wondering how I know she’s an old woman. Well, she was driving a brand new, shiny, white Nissan Maxima. And her license plate read Grandma Betty or something like that. Anyway, I don’t even feel bad for honking at an old woman. You might think I would, but I don’t. I feel bad that in all my years of driving, I have never, ever honked at anyone. Ever! I feel bad that Darby thought all of my yelling was part of the song we were listening to. I feel bad that songs Darby listens to have curse words. I feel bad that she said she was going to tell Brian we almost got into a wreck. We didn’t. I just almost had to ram this old woman with my car. That is what I feel bad about.


  • I had an ass do this to me the other night. Then he started swerving between lanes. I thought he was drunk. Nope, as we went by, we saw that he was on his cell phone. Idiot.

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 8:14 AM, February 08, 2006  

  • I hate those cell phone drivers!!!! That's even more infuriating than old ladies who stop at red lights.

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 8:52 AM, February 08, 2006  

  • This would be one of the many reasons I love living in New York. Its against the law to talk on your cell phone without a hands-free set in the city. Of course, not everyone abides by this law, but its comforting to know that its illegal. Driving while on the phone is such an unsafe thing to do.

    By Blogger Trista, at 11:36 AM, February 08, 2006  

  • I am a cell phone driver. Except I use my speaker phone.

    (I'm sorry.)

    By Blogger Queen of Ass, at 12:33 PM, February 08, 2006  

  • Queen-I forgive you for being a cell phone driver, but only because you use the speaker phone. At least when your talking no one really knows your talking on your phone. You could just be talking to yourself, which would make you crazy, not annoying.

    Trista-I think I remember when they made that law. It was sort of a big deal to cell phone users at the time. I remember I thought it was weird. Now, I think it's probably a good idea.

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 1:02 PM, February 08, 2006  

  • Well, I can be a little crazy when I want to be....

    By Blogger Queen of Ass, at 2:13 PM, February 08, 2006  

  • To tell you the truth I can imagine that. But seriously I adore you anyway.

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 6:04 PM, February 08, 2006  

  • Dont you wish that there was a display screen in cars where we could post messages to other cars as we drove by, the maybe you could have asked her "What the hell are you doing???" (Can you tell I live in a big city and have had road rage before?) :)

    By Anonymous Kristy, at 6:41 AM, February 09, 2006  

  • Hmm, that would definitely make things much more interesting. They should look into that. (They being whoever puts those types of contractions into cars.)

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 7:15 AM, February 09, 2006  

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