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Saturday, February 04, 2006

Reactions

Don't you love getting reactions out of people? I do. I love it when someone has to respond because of something I do or say. Especially when they go on and on about how miserable and hateful I must be because of two little words I said to someone else that they overheard. Two words and their little feelings get hurt and they have to vindicate themselves by trying to believe that my life is somehow unhappy because of what I said. I guess I wanted them to overhear those words, but if someone was so happy and so in touch with their own perfect life I would have to wonder why anything I might say or do would make them so upset that they would have to tell people about me. I don't know. I guess that just goes along with living a life that is and always has been a lie. Of course, I'm reacting now, right? By writing this. Oh well. Hopefully the cycle ends with me. Because that's how I like it. To have the last say, to be the last one standing.

And I do have everything I want at this point in time. Okay, I really want a new Audi but Brian says I haven't paid my dues yet. I haven't earned my Audi. But, besides the fact that I've been a little depressed the past couple of months I'm very happy to know that I have wonderful, healthy, bright, funny, and beautiful children that are that way because Brian and I have nurtured them to be that way. They aren't that way because they're treated second class to our lives, they're that way because we treat them with respect and love. I'm very happy that I go to bed at night and wake up in the morning with someone I care deeply for. Someone who, in their sleep, turns over and puts their arms around me. Someone who wakes up and kisses me several times before one of us gets out of bed. I'm happy that I have a job that maybe is just a boring office job, but the people that work there go out of their way to be friendly and helpful because I go out of my way to be friendly and helpful. Friends that do just little things that make me smile. Like when I asked if someone had any chocolate because I really needed a piece of chocolate and they didn't. But they went over to the vending machine and bought me a little bag of candy.

This is my life and to judge my life on two words that I said, mainly for the exact reaction I received, is pretty ridiculous. So from now on I will acknowledge people for who they are and what they stand for. Of course, when they overhear this they might have their little feelings hurt once again because they probably won't like what they hear. It hurts to hear the truth.

There's my reaction. Now I have posted pictures of those wonderful kids I was telling you about so go look at them. Now!

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