Pink Sheets

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Now & Then: Wasting Time At Work

Brian actually had a response handy for my comment about what the heck people did at work before they had the internet to pass the time.

Corporate Dump examines the differences between wasting time at work then (pre-Internet) and wasting time at work now (post-Internet).

Then:
Wandered aimlessly around office until you found something/someone even mildly interesting.

Now:
Wander aimlessly around WWW until you find something remotely interesting.

Then:
Laughed at stories about co-worker's teenager's silly exploits and imagined how great it would be to be a teen again.

Now:
Ogle co-worker's teenager's webcam and imagine what it would be like to be with a teen.

Then:
Drift over to "Harry - the guy with the radio" to hear about any work time news.

Now:
Post commentary for thousands in your blog 3 seconds after news breaks.

Then:
Blew stuff up in the microwave.

Now:
Watch people in Bulgaria blow stuff up in the microwave via webcam.

Then:
Sniffed white-out.

Now:
Lick monitor.

Then: Spent hours shredding stupid jokes and cartoons that friends sent via fax.

Now:
Spend hours deleting stupid jokes and cartoons that friends send via e-mail.

Then:
Took a book to the bathroom and enjoyed a long break.

Now:
Install a micro-camera in the bathroom and charge $9.95 a month for voyeurs to watch co-workers take a leak.

Then: Harrassed ex-girlfriend by spreading rumors about her at work about her dismal performance in the sack.

Now:
Post pictures of her dismal performance in the sack at ihatemyexgirlfriend.com.

Then:
Hid copies of magazine inside corporate document so boss thought you were a diligent worker.

Now:
Keep fingers on Alt-Tab to switch to that Excel spreadsheet so boss thinks you're a diligent workers.

Then:
Talked to co-workers around water cooler about latest Welcome Back Kotter and White Shadow episodes.

Now:
Talk to friends via ICQ about how much you hate your job.

Then:
Figured out how many sheets of paper their stapler would go through.

Now:
Use a ping plotter to see how many hops it takes to get to yahoo.com.

Then:
Imagined how much more fulfilling work life would be if only you could see porn star bloopers on company time.

Now:
Live a fulfilling life because you can watch porn star bloopers and get paid for it

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