Crazy Beautiful

This week Brian and I are trying out a new routine for when we have all the kids. I drop them off in the morning and he picks them up after work. It actually works out fairly well. Tuesday night Brian was home by 5:00, when he left work at 4:00 and I was home at 5:30. Perfect. The stress levels are down and we aren’t as cranky when we get home. Last night was a little different because Jordan was added to the mix. So, Brian picks up Jordan, then Riley and Darby, and last Jillian. I was home at the usual time, 5:30, but no one else had made it home yet. I thought that was a little strange. I figured they would be back any minute.

At about 5:45 I received a call from Brian. He had just arrived at his parent’s house to get Jillian and they would be home shortly. “Wow,” I comment, “you just got there? What time did you leave work?”

“At four,” he responds.

“Really? Four? It took you a long time to get there.”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, we’ll be home in a few minutes.”

“Okay, bye.”

Alright, I’m fuming. Why in the world would it take him almost twice as long when he’s picking up one more child, who isn’t that much out of the loop? What the hell is going on here? Well, I’m going to approach the matter very delicately when he gets home.

They get home and I welcome everyone with a big smile and continue making dinner. I take my sweet little baby out of her car seat and place her in the bouncy chair in the kitchen. Then very nonchalantly I mention while chopping onions, “maybe I should pick Jordan up when he’s at school. That way it won’t take twice as long for you to get home.”

“Oh, there’s no need. Really. It was just a weird day. You know, traffic and all.”

“Really? Traffic? Traffic was pretty bad at four was it? It seemed fine at five when I left.”

“Well, there was the car chase that happened.”

“Yes, there was the car chase, but that happened in Nampa and that should only effect the last few minutes of your trip. Do you realize I’m holding a knife, Brian? Do you?” I swing the knife in his face. “You better tell me what the hell your hiding before I take this knife and stab it in your gut. I will do it!” I tell him with clenched teeth.

Apparently he made a stop on his way home that was very much out of the way, but he decided to tease me with this information. Basically letting me freak out for his own personal pleasure. Rude!

However, this is how I have been feeling towards him lately. Crazy jealous. I don’t even know why. Nothing has changed in our relationship that would make me act this way and yet, when he talks about how hot some girl on TV is, it makes me want to pick the TV up in some kind of Incredible Hulk fashion and throw it at his head. It used to be that when he mentioned some girl’s hotness I would take a look at her and either agree “yeah, I’d do her” or disagree, “eh, I could take her or leave her”.

Or when he gets his Playboy and flips through the pages, oohing and aahing. I just ignore him or roll my eyes. But these days, I want to take the magazine from his hands, roll it up, and swat him a million times, like someone would do to a puppy who just peed on the floor. I may be losing my mind. I’m so not okay with that.