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Sunday, December 18, 2005

Parental Guilt

I have all these things that make me feel guilty as a mom. I think most moms feel guitly about their parenting. I just felt like writing it down, because for the most part, I believe I'm a good mom. I don't ever feel like I have to validate that fact, but I've been thinking about such things lately.

-I wake up earlier than normal to fix them a bowl of cereal (guilt).
-I pack them a lunch every day, except of course those days when I'm too lazy or I run out of time(guilt).
-I drop them off at school and give them hugs and kisses, except those times when I'm in a really bad mood and I forget (guilt).
-I call them at daycare to tell them I'm sorry I was in such a bad mood and I hope they have a wonderful day at school (guilt erased).
-I pick them up from daycare way too late (guilt).
-I drive them home and get them started on thier homework while I make dinner. We eat dinner and immediately afterwards they take a shower while I check their homework. We read a story before they go to bed at 8:00 because they have to wake up very, very early (guilt).
-We do the routine all over again until Saturday (guilt).
-They have to be at school and daycare for about 10 hours a day (guilt).
-Sometimes I get mad and annoyed and I yell and sometimes I even say the most awful things to them (guilt).
-I try to make up for it by doing something fun (guilt somewhat erased).
-Sometimes, I forget their lunch or I forget the teddy bear on teddy bear day at school (guilt).
-I am more than willing to be late for work so that I can drive back home and get the lunch or the teddy bear (guilt erased).
-After the week is over and Sunday rolls around they go back to their dad's and I'm ready for them to leave (guilt).
-After my week without them is over I can't wait to see them again and I usually pick them up early (guilt erased).
-During my week, the kids stay with me when they aren't at school and I'm not at work. I rarely get a baby sitter for them, because I think that spending time with them is more important. More important than whatever else might be going on.

Those are just some of the ups and downs I go through as a mom, as I'm sure most moms go through. I don't think it's bad that we make mistakes, I think it's bad when we're indifferent to those mistakes. I think it would take a pretty horrible person to not feel guilty about the mistakes. It would take a pretty horrible person to not feel guilty about pawning off their child on family or friends or the other parent every chance they got. It would take a pretty horrible person not to feel guilty for putting their schedule before their child. It would take a pretty horrible person to not feel guilty for leaving their child 2-3 nights a week when you only have them 3-4 nights out of the week. I'm just glad I'm not that horrible person and that my kids don't have to live that kind of life. The kind of life when they're only important on special occasions and holidays.

2 Comments:

  • We do the best we can. I know how you feel! And you're a better mom than me...I put them in charge of their own breakfast (make yourself a bowl of cereal or get a breakfast bar) and either make their own lunch or buy it. See. Now I feel guilt...

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 11:30 AM, December 19, 2005  

  • Don't feel guilty. I'm super mom!! Yay right! I might put them in charge of eating except between the two 5 year olds and the goofy 8 year old I think they would starve. You shouldn't feel guilty, you raised competent children, you should feel lucky. :)

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 11:33 AM, December 19, 2005  

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