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Thursday, December 28, 2006

...and I Picked Up A Turd With My Bare Fingers

I just thought that would be a good title for my post since I'm not ready to post my "what I got for Christmas" post. And I warn you. That post is going to have some serious bragging because I am seriously spoiled. I think even more so than the kids. But they did alright.

Anyway, Brian said that the other day. I could go into the whole story of why he picked up a turd with his bare fingers but I think it takes away from the quote. Let's just say he didn't know it was a turd. Because it was in a place that turds shouldn't be.

To gracefully change the subject, I bought some new shampoo the other day. I know, I know, very interesting news. But that's not the whole story. I bought shampoo because the bottle indicated "intense moisture" which I need because my hair is thick and dry. So I bought the shampoo. And I took it home. Upon closer inspection, below the intense moisturizing feature states, "for women of color". I bought shampoo for women of color. Which would be fine, but I'm pretty freaking pale. Needless to say, it didn't work quite right. Of course, I never figured out if that was because of the "women of color" part or because I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. I just had a sneaking suspicion all day I didn't rinse.

Speaking of poop, because we were up at the top remember? Riley decided to tell my mom and sister the steaming poop story. He stands at the front of the room and begins. "Once upon a time Jordan and I were scooping poop." This is the part of the story that Jordan stands next to him. For effect, I suppose. He continues, "and behind us Chloe lays out some more." I imagine he's saying she took another poop while they were scooping poop which for some annoying reason she tends to do. "Jordan and I slowly turn around," They turn, once again for effect. "And there is Chloe's poop. And it's steaming!" They are so gross. And actually when that happened, they thought the poop was smoking. I had to clarify for them.

Okay, I promise no more poop talk. Pictures and stories of Christmas will be coming soon!


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