Family

Alright, book time. I have finished reading Naked by David Sedaris...Finally. It's taken a couple of months, not because it's uninteresting. It's actually quite amusing, but this reading thing is hard for me to grasp. I always have "better" things to do. These things may include cleaning or making dinner or working, but most likely it involves watching a TV show and drinking a beer. But that's neither here nor there. I've finished the book.

Sedaris is an intriguing person. However, it's somewhat difficult for me to relate to his essays. Don't get me wrong I understand the humor and find it humorous, but I think the fact that he's a man who hates driving and has hitch hiked across the country is a little weird and hard to relate to. But that may be just me. However, the parts I really enjoyed involved his family. The first chapter is the one that had me hooked. In the first essay, Chipped Beef, he talks about how he didn't believe he fit in with his family. Here's a little snippet of my favorite part.

The life I had been offered was completely unacceptable, but I never gave up hope that my
real family might arrive at any moment, pressing the doorbell with their white-gloved
fingers. "Oh, Lord Chiselchin," they'd cry, tossing their top hats in celebration, "thank God
we've finally found you.""

I know exactly what he's talking about. Of course my daydreams of my "real" family coming to find me were equally as extravagant, but I always believed more realistic. I was adopted. Somewhere out there was a biological family that belonged to me. In my imagination they could be whatever I wanted them to be. And they have been everything. They have held every occupation imaginable and been of various heritage. My imagined family has even been from several different cultures, mainly because I'm not exactly sure which descent I'm from. There's no way to know for sure. Hispanic and Italian are the most popular race I have dreamed up, but I'm pretty much open for suggestion because I don't believe these descriptions actually fit my features. But, these are my thoughts, right? I can make them whomever I wish.

My "real" family has always been super rich and lived in wonderful houses with servants and horses and every type dog imaginable, because I have always loved dogs. They find me and want to give me millions of dollars and I always accept the gift and live out my life in Boise, with my adopted family, in great wealth. It's funny, I have these great daydreams of this nonexistent family to find me and in the end I just want what I basically have now. Okay, I have much more money and my life involves never working ever again and shopping everyday, but seriously that's not too far-fetched from what I do now. It's just on a much larger scale.

Of course, there are several other characteristics about my family that make me know I'm not exactly like them. The potluck wedding reception is one. The fact that my sisters are like a million feet tall and I'm 5'4". I have dark hair and they have blonde. My mom finds it perfectly acceptable to have a kitchen full of dirty dishes and my father is, well he's insane most of the time. (I'm not exactly sure how to expand on that.) When I was little I remember my parents saying things such as, "God put us in the families we were suppose to be in. It's predetermined which family we belonged to." I always pointed out that I wasn't born into this family, I was adopted. My mom told me that was true, but I somehow found my way to them and that was where I belonged. I always thought I got ripped off.

I know, totally cheesy. That's not what I was going for, but my point is this, I think that my family needs me. They need the oddball to help them go in the right direction. You know, the direction I think they should be going. Right! They never listen to me. But my mom always knows I will come do her dishes and my dad knows that I'm always willing to be taken to lunch and my sisters and brother know that I'm always around to belittle them. It's a great family dynamic.

People always ask if I'm ever curious about my biological family and if I've ever considered trying to find them. I am a little curious, but I don't want to search for them. For all of my lavish dreams of who they are, I only have one nightmare. That I find them in a trailer park somewhere on tornado alley. No thank you. I'll just hold onto my unrealistic fantasies of wealth and prestige.