Pink Sheets

2010-09-26T10:11:00.000-07:00

I moved over to something new.

Dirty, Lazy, Busy Fun

2010-09-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

Brian is running the Dirty Dash this morning at Bogus Basin. He is going with his nephew Alex and some of Alex's friends. I bet it will fun. But I won't be there. I was going to try and figure out a way to go, but then I was feeling rushed. Jillian starts ballet at around noon today. The race starts at 9 and both are in Boise but I was thinking that since the contestants were going to be a muddy mess there's a good chance so will the spectators. (Spectators are also allowed to throw water balloons at the racers.) And ballet is pretty important to Jillian. She's done nothing but talk about it since soccer has ended. I just don't think she wants to start her first class spattered in mud.

And I still need to pick up her ballet shoes and feed her and try and figure out how to put a bun in her hair. I'm actually a little nervous about her appearance. They have all of these guidelines for how the ballerinas should be dressed for class. What if I dress her wrong? It's so stressful.

I was just going through Darby's bag for an invitation to a party this afternoon and I found this fundraiser envelope. It's old and the fundraiser is over, but a few weeks ago Darby tells me that "tomorrow is the last day to sell cookie dough". She only wanted to sell a certain number so that she could get some prize and said she would go with her friend Rylee after school and before cheer the next day to try and sell to the neighbors. They ended up going but they didn't go right after school. They went about an hour before cheer and she actually sold 10 items. She's so funny. I can't believe she sold anything. I thought I would have to buy a bunch of cookie dough, but I only bought two.

Darby is a last minute kind of girl. She actually reminds me of Brian. He also talks about getting the most amount of work done using the least amount of energy possible. I think he's actually saying he likes to be efficient but the way he explains it sounds like he's being lazy. But I don't think he is. He says he is, but Darby is like this too. It's not lazy.

I was in a parent/teacher conference last year and the teacher asked if I checked her grades online. I said I used to but I would check them and she would have C's and D's and I would panic and ask her what was going on. Once I received her final grades for the quarter or semester or whatever was ending, they would be A's an B's. He turned to her and said, "yes Darby, that is interesting how that happens. Please tell us, how do you do that?"

She responded that at the end of the quarter she figures out how much work she has to do to bring her grade up and then does that. Hmm, maybe she shouldn't tell her teacher that. I don't know.

The boys do not do this. I check their grades online every week or so and if I see something start to slip I let them know. If they waited to the last minute I'm pretty sure they would end up with the C's and D's and that would not be a very good day in the house.

Well, I guess I should go. The kids spent the night at their grandma's house and I need to pick them up so that grandma can take Darby to cheer. Then I need to pick up those ballet slippers and stop by Claire's for a gift card and a purse to put the gift card in. After which, I will take Jillian to ballet and then make it home in time to get Darby to her party. I think that Brian will be home in time to get Jordan to his party AND pick up a gift before dropping him off, but if not I probably can. Other than that my day is pretty free. I should go grocery shopping tonight but that's probably not going to happen. Have a great Saturday!

2010-09-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

Today is Family Day at the Guard. Brian asked me what hot mom outfit I was going to wear. Really? Hot mom outfit? For Family Day? I don't know, I guess I'll surprise him. He's silly.

We also bought a new shoe rack because our shoes were overflowing off the other one. I actually don't consider myself a shoe person. When I buy new shoes it's usually to replace old shoes and I basically have black and brown for different occasions such as work or casual or boots and then I have various flip flops and sandals for the summer time. I don't generally just buy shoes because I have to have something new, but I was going through them and I have a lot of shoes. More than I expected. They fill the whole rack and then some. Brian's new shoe rack looks pretty pathetic and empty. He said that I couldn't have any space on his rack. Rude!

The girls, on the other hand, are shoe people. They love shoes and have to have them. Every time we go to the store they want new shoes. All styles, colors, types. Well, Darby hates tennis shoes. She refuses to wear them except for cheer leading. Jillian even loves tennis shoes. We just bought her some new skate shoes. They are so cute. They are pink, black, green...totally punk. Darby doesn't like them. She thinks Jillian has too many shoes as it is. She does. But so does Darby.

The wedding date is getting closer and I need to do a lot of work, but I've been so busy at my job that I haven't had time to do stuff during the day and now my weekend has been filled with work stuff so I can't do it this weekend either. Ugh. It is going to get here too fast. Hope we are ready. I just need my maid of honor back in town so she can get me back on track. Oh and Brian needs to chose a best man. Seriously. It is stressing me out. And I could stand to lose about 5 lbs. I have been pigging out this summer. Ahhh!

Okay, I need to go get more work stuff done. No more slacking for me this Sunday morning.

Labor Day Weekend

2010-09-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been awesome. Normally we go to the cabin and spend three days up there but this year we decided to stay home and I'm so glad we did. I actually have my laundry caught up. Well, almost. There is some laundry in the dryer that needs folded and honestly it might stay there until one of the kids starts to run out of clothes. However, my goal is to fold it today.

On Saturday I went to a kickboxing class. I never get to go to kickboxing on Saturday but since Darby doesn't have cheer leading for the Labor Day weekend I decided working out would be a good use of my time. I must have been the only person who thought this because I was the only one who showed up. So, I got a personal trainer for an hour for the cost of the class. I am so freaking sore. My body is aching. I'm going to still try and go for a walk today but I seriously can not move. Well I can hardly move. She decided we should do some strength training with weights and it kicked my butt!

Yesterday I was pretty lazy. I watched a movie and a bunch of episodes of House Hunters. That show is so good. I love it. Brian was the productive one yesterday. He spent the ENTIRE day in the garage cleaning and putting up his work bench with his dad. It looks pretty good.

Okay, so you think that catching up on laundry isn't really that much of an accomplishment for a three day weekend but I also went grocery shopping and managed to get Jillian to take all of her naps and kept all of the dishes out of the sink and the kitchen floor swept. That's tough work. Riley and Darby went back to their dad's but Jordan has his cousin over so that's a lot of dishes and a lot of crumbs. Plus, I've managed to get them breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Mostly because we have company. Otherwise, they would have to fend for themselves. Oh yes, I also cleaned the bunny cage and chased her back into her cage TWICE. Lots of work I tell you.

Tonight is the BSU vs VA Tech game. I can not wait. I'm so excited and so nervous. I don't know if I will even be able to watch it. I hope it's a good game. My fingers are crossed.

Awww...

2010-08-17T12:21:00.001-07:00

I Love Birthday Week

2010-08-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

Usually the week of my birthday is filled with birthday activities, directly related to my birthday. This week is filled with just things going on.

-Monday is hair appointment. My hair needs this appointment. It is dry and needs the ends trimmed and my eyebrows look awful.

-Tuesday our neighborhood is participating in National Night Out and we're having a dessert potluck and raffle in the park. It should be pretty fun. I'm making rice crispy treats because they are easy and I can make them tonight. I sure hope someone brings brownies.

-Wednesday is my actual birthday! We're going to Wahooz where we can do bumper boats and race cars and laser tag. The kids will have fun. Maybe we can order some really bad pizza too. Who knows, I haven't figured that part out yet. I usually take the day of my birthday off from work but not this year. This year is entirely reserved for the wedding. Well, not entirely but I already used a bunch of days, so from now to the end of the year my days are for the wedding/honeymoon.

-Thursday I don't really have anything going on but I'm hoping to go to one of the workout classes I've been going to after work at this new place that does yoga and kickboxing and other classes. It's a pay as you go and I love it. We'll see what they're doing on Thursday.

-Friday, again, I don't have anything really planned but I'm sure something will come up. But, if not I might try to fit in another class. I guess they're starting a butt and gut class on Friday's that might be pretty painful.

-Saturday is meeting with a florist in the morning and going to the Beer Fest in the afternoon. I can not wait for Beer Fest. Last year it was so fun and it's going to be even bigger this year. Brian has to work that day but I'm making him go because he will have fun. I will also need to convince Brian's parents to go with me because they went last year and we all had a good time.

-Sunday is bride's maid dress day. The bridal party will be having lunch and then going to a nearby bridal shop to try on dresses. My girls can't wait. I don't about the other girls but Jillian and Darby can not wait to get their "beautiful" dresses and "beautiful" shoes for the wedding. And maybe we can fit in some school shopping too because school starts again. Soon!!!

Well, so much for changing my blog...

2010-07-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

I feel like I need a change. For this blog. I think the pink has outlived it's usefulness. Not that it was ever useful, I'm just saying. I might need something in blue or yellow or some kind of neutral. I'll keep you updated.

2010-06-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

Poor blog. I have been neglecting you. I'm sorry but I'm so busy. Must have a life over blogging.

Summer Time Busy Time

2010-06-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

The summer is already slipping away from us. We haven't even made it to the cabin yet. Probably won't make it until 4th of July. This coming weekend is out because we are having a garage sale this Saturday and Jillian has a birthday party to go to. And then it's 4th of July. I can't even believe it!

I also need to get some wedding things done. Like soon. I need to get my save the dates out before it's too late to send them because I promised Brian's mom I would, I need to pick out a cake and not stress over the stupid cake, I need to buy my dress, I need to pick out the bride's maid dresses with all of my bride's maids, engagement pictures in July... So much to do and I just don't know how to fit in.

And then there are the kids' activities. This week Jordan is staying with his grandparents, next week is 4th of July, some other grandparents might want to take them on a weekend trip sometime in July, my sister wants them to come visit her Spokane sometime this summer, we are thinking about camp the week of July 18th and then we probably want to spend a little time with them. Sometime. Maybe.

I think I might need to make a list. I hate lists. And I don't really follow my lists even if I make one, but I think I might need a list.

Ugh!

The Cast is Off

2010-06-10T14:26:00.000-07:00

Woo Hoo! I'm still a little swollen and bruised but it's not as noticeable with out the cast on. And the nose looks so much better. Already. Even with the swelling and bruising. Now I have to go back to work. Boo!!!

My Conclusion:

2010-06-07T13:47:00.001-07:00

It is easier to break a nose than to fix a nose. I'm pretty sure. It's probably just as painful, but there were these stints up my nose that were taken out today and that was pretty awful. However, the doctor said he was able to get my nose straighter than he thought he might. And also added that the bridge of my nose was pretty crushed. Which sounds pretty bad. I'm sure it is because when my nose was broken it hurt pretty bad.

I've been drugged up for the last three days, but I'm feeling really good right now. So probably no more painkillers for me. Of course, I say that when the effects of the painkillers are still lingering. I'll just play it by ear. They knock me out, though and I prefer to be conscious. Anyway, so far so good.

Tomorrow I will take the kids to the pool even though I look like a freak show, with my eyes all swollen and bruised and the cast and stitches on my nose. But they really want to go.

Nose Job

2010-06-03T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm getting my nose fixed tomorrow. I'm so excited. For one, my nose will be straight and I guess I'll be able to breathe better. Two, I get the whole next week off of work. The bad part-I'm going to have a cast on my nose and I'm not sure if I'm going to feel that great. But all of the kids are out of school and the weather is suppose to be perfect and I think that I will feel well enough to function. And by function I mean do normal every day things. And maybe I can clean out a closet or two and take the kids to the pool and depending on when the cast comes off I can up to the cabin. I am so excited!

Except that I still have to have surgery, which is kind of scary and I know tomorrow night I won't feel well at all. But my Brian and Jilly bean will take care of me tomorrow night and this weekend if they need to.

Poor little Jillian hurt her neck on Sunday. I have no idea what she did but all day Sunday she was unable to turn her head. It was a pretty sad sight. The night before I let her put on Darby's old cheerleading uniform she wore one year on Halloween and I bought her some pom poms. She was doing all these cheers and moves, I wonder if she just pulled something.

We also watched Whip It this weekend. I thought it was pretty good. Even Brian watched it with me. I just love Drew Barrymore. She's so cute. I do not, however, have any desire to sign up for a Roller Derby team, though. Looks too painful for me. I'm a wimp.

That's really all I have.

Naps and Movies

2010-05-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

Had such a great weekend even though the weather on Saturday was awful. It was so cold and windy and rainy it was miserable. Jillian had two soccer games on Saturday to finish off her season. One at 8:30 and the other at 11:50. My original plans were to spend the entire time at the soccer park since they were having a little event going on. Booths and bouncy houses and food, but it was so cold we left.

When we got home we turned on the movie Hachi and snuggled on the couch where I took a little nap before the next game. Jillian isn't really interested in the movie Hachi, about a man and his dog. I guess there's too much dialogue or something. If you asked her, she would tell you she loves the movie, but she won't sit down and watch it. And it's pretty sad, but a really good story. So watch it.

Her next game turned out to be even more cold and windy and rainy than the first game. I could not wait to get home and make lunch and chill out. It just was not a good day to be outside. After her second game we came home, had some lunch and turned on G-Force, which she will watch. And she was out in no time. As was I, again. Being out in the cold and wind seriously makes me tired. I have no idea why. While we were sleeping Brian decided to get some bottles ready so he could bottle some beer he made. When I woke up again, I decided to watch The Proposal. I had tried watching that one before but I fell asleep, of course. Anyway, I really like that movie. It's so cute and it has this puffy white dog in it. I love it. I don't think Brian was impressed but I didn't expect him to be.

Miraculously, I was able to get off the couch to go with Brian to a Home Brew challenge at the Stonehouse where we had a great time trying new beers and just hanging out. Brian even knew one of the home brewers from high school who was saying he's trying to open a brewery in Nampa, which would be awesome for us, since there really isn't any place like that near our home.

Sunday the weather was much better, but I still stayed in and lounged. I love that sometimes. Actually, if I could do it all the time I would but it would probably just drive Brian completely insane, so I try to be productive every once in awhile.

Oh, and I did have Darby's birthday party with her friends on Friday. It was very successful. I was able to get out of having a sleepover because of Jillian's 8:30 am soccer game, but I don't think it really mattered. Darby had exactly what she wanted. Her friends came over and they went to the park and all just chilled out together and had a nice time. And Brian is still giving me a hard time because I spent way too much money on food. I didn't want to run out. But I guess little girls don't eat that much. So now I know. Hmph!

Stuff Having to do With Kids (of course)

2010-05-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day was so nice. The weather was nice, the kids were nice, the company was nice, the food was awesome, and the wine was delicious. Maybe a little bit too delicious. And I didn't have to do dishes. That was awesome.

This weekend is Darby's birthday, but instead of having her party we will be running around to three baseball games, two soccer games, and watching a cheerleader in a parade. Darby doesn't care. She doesn't want to try and do a party when we are totally busy. So I'm going to try and put something together next Friday. She has 11 girls on her guest list. I'm a little afraid. 10 year old girls are nothing but drama.

Serious. Drama. You should hear them on the phone and see the notes they write each other. It's crazy!!! And the phone. Oh my gosh. They are on the phone all the time!! What the heck? It's so weird. Anyway, I'm thinking about having 11 of them over for dinner and a sleepover but I'm a little nervous about the drama. I don't want crying and stuff going on. I really need to think this through. Or I could just say whatever, everyone come and spend the night. *sigh*

Well, sports season is almost over. After this weekend soccer is completely done and the only thing left in baseball are the tournaments. It's easy breezy for the summer. Unless of course I sign them up for something like golf which I'm thinking about. And Jillian wants to take ballet and the rec center is doing another cheerleading clinic...

But I also want them to go to a camp this summer and a grandma wants to take them on a trip in July sometime so maybe the little clinics aren't going to fit into their schedule. Who knows.

2010-05-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

There is nothing going on. Well, there's a lot going on but nothing really that unusual. I'm going to participate in Race for the Cure on Saturday. I was originally going to sign up last month and then I realized that Friday I was scheduled for nose surgery and probably wouldn't be up to walking on Saturday, but my surgery is re-scheduled for next month. It was actually too late to sign up when I found out but Brian's sis-in-law's sister had to back out and I'm taking her spot. So it kind of works out.

We are walking for Carol. She is my old boss. She left the company almost 2 years ago because her breast cancer had spread to her brain. She passed away right before Christmas last year. She was also Brian's sis-in-law's aunt. It's such a small world. We're going to be walking for Team Birt. My work also has a team set up in honor of Carol so I'm sure I'll see a lot of people. And hopefully I find someone to walk with because I think the sister in law is running. Yuck!

Tonight Brian and I are going to a Sugarland concert. It will be fun. We always have fun at concerts. I can't wait. Just a few more hours to go. And I need to take Jillian to soccer practice before we leave, but after that it's just the two of us. Woo hoo!

I can not believe it's almost summer. I have no idea how I'm going to occupy the kids. Most of the time they can occupy themselves, but I'm not sure if I really like them doing the things they like to do day in and day out. There are going to have to be activities.

Brian and I were joking around about Riley being able to go to the pool by himself this year now that he's 13. But the other kids wouldn't be able to go with him because they still need an adult. I can just imagine him floating in the pool, Brian said drinking Mojitos, taunting the other kids while they were sweating on the other side of the fence. But we're not going to tell him he's old enough to go by himself. Just so we don't have any issues. Besides, he is the one who doesn't really like to swim anyway. He says he hates the smell of chlorine. He's one of my weak stomach kids that I talk about. So, they will need to participate in other activities, besides swimming this year. I'm sure I can think of something. Like scooping poop and pulling weeds and cleaning bunny cages...Ah, I'm evil. Ha, ha, ha.

Lucky Girl

2010-04-29T12:19:00.000-07:00

I am a total dork. Yes, me. There's this line on my facebook page that says to write something about yourself and I've always left it blank because I had no idea what to write about myself in that small space. The other day it totally hit me. I'm a lucky girl.

I thought about it because years and years ago that's how Riley described me. He's 13 now, but when he was 8 or 9 he told me I was a lucky girl because I was the only adult he knew that received so many gifts on their birthday. I thought that was funny. And one day I was just thinking about that little interaction and how I really am a lucky girl.

And not because I get a lot of gifts for my birthday, but because life, in general, treats me pretty well. Sure bad things happen. Or things that really irritate me, happen. And sometimes I think "why me". But generally speaking I have a very nice life.

I have Brian. He's sweet and doesn't like to see me upset and takes care of things I don't like to take care of and all of that nice boy stuff that boys are suppose to do. I have four great, smart, mostly healthy (except for those ones with the weak stomachs) kids. I have the cutest little bunny that ever was and a dog so obedient and well behaved that she would do anything not to upset you.

I have awesome help with the kids because all of the grandparents live so close. So when Brian is at school I always have an extra someone to drive a couple around to games or practice or school or to some other activity that's going on.

My family situation can be drama sometimes, but mostly it's fun to get together with everyone. And in fact, we probably do so more than most families.

I have really great friends who put up with me even when I'm acting a little spoiled and I start to freak out about wedding stuff. And they tell me it's okay and I can do whatever I want and they will do whatever I want. And then I calm down.

And my work is not unbearable. The job is pretty good, the pay is pretty okay (for girl pay), the hours are nice and flexible so I can fit in all of that kid stuff I need to fit in.

So when I complain, I promise I do know, way in the back of my head that I'm lucky. And I try not to take it for granted. I try really hard.

2010-04-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

Jillian is at a funny age right now. She just says every thing. Whatever comes to her mind. There's no sugar coating with that one.

One morning Brian was telling her she needed to eat her breakfast because he needed to leave. She looked up from her cereal and said, "so, leave." It was funny. She only rides with him a couple of days a week and I don't think she has those days down.

Yesterday I told Jillian that she had to do something because Riley was going to his dad's soon. She asked very excited "but not Darby?!". I said told her Darby would be leaving too. "Ahhhh!!" She was sad Darby was leaving but not a word about Riley.

Riley really gets picked on by Jillian. One day all the kids were playing Would you Rather... at dinner. They started with Riley and he asked would rather eat this or this and then on to Darby and Jordan. There was a question about would you rather lose your arm or your leg. And then it was Jillian's turn and she's sitting there thinking and says "I would rather punch Riley in the face!". I don't think she fully understood the rules of the game.

I guess since she's 4 Riley forgives her. They are several years apart. He gets his fair share of teasing her and picking on her. It all evens out in the end I suppose.

On a completely happy note, Jillian made her first goal this Saturday at her soccer game. It was pretty awesome.

My Super Busy Week

2010-04-13T12:21:00.000-07:00

This is an all kid week. I've been dreading this week because there is a ton of things going on. Riley's game was canceled yesterday. That was sort of a bonus. I didn't have to rush to get him to his game, come home, throw some spaghetti on the table for the other kids, and rush to get Jordan to practice so that I could go back to Riley's game and watch.

I guess the cosmos know that moms need a break every once in a while, just to get a head start on the week.

Tonight is Awanas, a game and a practice.

Tomorrow soccer pictures and cheer leading and I won't be surprised if there's a baseball practice or two thrown in.

Thursday is the big one. I will actually need help on Thursday. Not just Brian's help. I need a third person because there is a 5:30 game, a 6:00 game, and a 5:30 practice. You see how I can not be three places at the same time? Even with Brian there's that two places at the same time dilemma we're still facing. That means asking for help. Ugh!!!!

Friday, I'm not sure what's going on Friday but I'm pretty certain it will involve kids wanting to do something or stay the night somewhere or more practice. Luckily, Jilly is the only one who has games on Saturday's so that's a nice break too. And her games are short. I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

And to top it off, the grandma who can really help out decided to go to Portland for the week!!! So, I also have to take Riley to school because his bus gets to our stop too early. It's seriously early. It gets there at 6:30, which means I have to have him awake by 6 and out the door by 6:20. I've barely showered. I just can't do it. So I take him and I have to wait until 7 before dropping him off and that's leaving 15 minutes later than usual. So not only am I already late, but I have to be home early! It just doesn't make sense. It's crazy!

Okay, enough complaining. I love watching the games and hearing about Awanas and what they learned and running kids from practice to practice. Sometimes, it can be overwhelming. That's all I'm saying.

Good Kids

2010-04-09T08:31:00.000-07:00

I took the day off yesterday. It was so nice. Darby was having a bad week and I decided to go have lunch with her. We had turkey gravy with mashed potatoes. Not too bad. I try and have lunch with her as often as I can because once she goes to middle school it's over. No more lunches at school for us. It's still cool for her mom to show up at school unexpected. Her friends all hover around me and want to sit with us. According to Riley that's not the way it works in middle school.

Brian also had a kid day yesterday. A long kid day. He went with Jordan on his field trip to Baker City, OR. I forgot to ask how long the bus ride was, but I think it was suppose to be 4 hours or something. But they seemed to have a good time. Right after they returned from the field trip he had a baseball game. I didn't see them until 7:30 that night. It was weird.

My friend at work always tells me that you have to do those things with them, because that's what they remember. I tell her my kids always remember the time I missed their game or was late picking them up...things like that. She agreed that they remember that stuff too.

However, I think Brian and I are doing a pretty good job. Darby has a friend that goes to Awanas with her and they were talking one night. She told Darby that she was going to move out when she was sixteen and move in with her boyfriend (she does not currently have a boyfriend, she must think she will have one when she's 16). Darby was surprised. Her first question was "what about college?" Whew! I did mention to her later that evening that there was no way that she was going to move out when she was 16 and especially not with a boy. She said that wouldn't be a problem.

Now she talks about how when she graduates she wants to move to France and she's going to take French in high school. I think that would be awesome if she wants to do that.

I always tell the kids not to get bogged down by boyfriends and girlfriends in high school. I know that there are probably plenty of relationships that have lasted from high school to adulthood, but I personally don't know many. And I want them to be able to do whatever they want. I might be a little harsh about it, I think my exact words were "anyone you meet in high school is replaceable", but I just want them to know that their lives and future are most important. Every thing else can wait. You only have once in a lifetime to pick your college and go away and be free to do whatever you want. After that there's responsibility. And I want them to be good citizens and take the responsibility of marriage and children and pets seriously. So that's what I tell them.

PS Her friend is now talking about how her and Darby are going to go to the same college, so Darby ended up being a good influence. She's such a good girl.

Spring Cleaning

2010-04-02T06:58:00.001-07:00

I can't tell you if this week was better than last. I think it's a wash. It wasn't bad it, it wasn't necessarily good.

The kids have Spring Break this week. I feel bad that they haven't been able to do much. I was going to take some time off but I'm running out of days. And it's only March. I actually have a lot of days but the days I'm taking off for the wedding are pretty much set in stone. They can't be rearranged, so Spring Break had to be sacrificed. They have had some sleep overs so I don't feel too horribly bad.

Last Sunday Brian and I (and Jillian helped) completely gutted the kids' rooms and the play room. They look so much better. We just got rid of so many things. It was so nice. The play room is pretty much going to be for Jillian now since she has the most "toys". She still plays with My Little Pony and Littlest Pet Shop and her kitchen. The other kids are more into electronic "toys" right now so they don't take up as much room.

Baseball season has begun. Lots of practices. And they're long. It's exhausting. I spend my evenings dropping off and picking up kids. But that's just how it works I suppose. Jillian is playing soccer again and her practice is only 1/2 hour a week so that's a nice break. And since Darby decided to do cheerleading that's only one day a week. I love it. Now if I could just get the boys to do something that was one day a week...Maybe in the fall.

Anyway, it's a little amusing having the kids home all day. For instance Darby calls me at least once a day, but that's only if she's at friends' house. When she's home, she calls oh I don't three or four times a day. And she instant messages me on Facebook. She just sent me a message asking if I love the bunny more than her. I do love the bunny...

I'm horrible at instant messages though because I don't have all the lingo down. I know what the important stuff is, like OMG and WTF. But I asked Darby the other day where she was going to dinner and she wrote back IDK. And I had no idea what that was. I'm just old. Oh well, that happens.

I think my mood has improved since last week, which is good, but my situation is still pretty much the same. I should try and fix that. Out with the old and in with the new. Spring clean my life a little. Maybe?

Worst Week

2010-03-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

I'm hoping this week is better than last week. Last week was probably one of the worst weeks of the year. It was. This year was going along so well and then last week just shot that all to hell. And not in a funny way. There's a show called Worst Week, actually there was a show, it didn't go beyond the first season, but that show was hilarious. Hilarity was not how my worst week went. In fact there was some crying and feeling down. I was thinking about taking up therapy again or quitting my job and hiding in a cave. A number of things ran through my mind as I tried to survive the awfulness that was last week. Anyway, I just received some news at work that did not please me and since I don't really give work specifics here, that's all I can divulge. Sorry.

Brian says that we need to be on a virtuous cycle instead of a vicious one. His way of saying what goes around comes around. I haven't been being very nice and now it's come to bite me in the butt type of thing. Which I understand. I know that happens. I've been expecting something because I haven't been very nice, but I just don't think this punishment fits the crime and karma is at least three points up. It's definitely not even, I will tell you that. I expect the scales to start to even out soon.

I watched a PBS show on dreams the other day. It was really interesting. It was about different research done on dreams and I started to worry that I wasn't dreaming, because I guess dreaming is healthy and especially REM dreams. Both Saturday and Sunday night I had dreams, I don't remember what they were about, but I did dream so I'm happy about that. I think there was something about not dreaming can cause depression and I don't really need that right now...

I think I'm going to get a nose job. A long, long time ago my nose was broken and it's this long stupid story, but it broke and I never had it fixed. Apparently it's really messed up. So messed up that insurance is mostly likely going to pay to have it fixed. (I say most likely because it hasn't been pre-approved yet, but the doctor said they way it looks it shouldn't be a problem.) I decided I want to get it fixed before the wedding and before engagement pics, which I need to get done soon. The down side is I will have a messed up nose for two weeks. One week I will have the cast and the next week there will still be visible signs of bruising. But people at work will just think that Brian beat me up. Ha! Just kidding. I will make sure every one knows what I'm doing.

Other than that not a lot going on. Just the usual.

Wedding Checklist...So Far...And Really?

2010-03-15T07:54:00.001-07:00

-Location: Boise Depot

-Catering: Kanak Attack

-Bar: The Ram

-Rehearsal Dinner: Cottonwood Grille

-Colors: Navy Blue and Yellow

-Dress: Picked out, just need to order it.

-Rentals: Received a bid, just need to confirm.

-Cake: Uh, the cake is a touchy subject right now.

There's still a million things to do like get our engagement pictures taken and get the invitation design ready and send out the save the dates, get registered, but we're getting there.

I'm just glad we have the food and booze taken care of. We went Saturday afternoon and talked with The Ram about the bar. That went pretty well. But then we were driving home and Jillian said her stomach hurt. Which happens. I always make fun of her and Riley because they have weak stomachs. Anything can set those two off. Motion sickness, smell.

We get home and I go grocery shopping. Brian sets up Jillian in the playroom to watch a movie and rest so that he could brew some beer. When I return home I walk in the door and I hear bath water running. Not a good sign. "Did she throw up?" I yell up the stairs. I hear this poor, weak little voice answer yes. Poor Jillian.

I bring in the groceries. The water is no longer running but Brian is running around trying to do some time sensitive beer brewing stuff. He asks if I can put the groceries away in a minute. You know after I clean up the puke on the playroom floor and couch. I'm not kidding. That's what he said. Because of that "time sensitive beer brewing process".

Are you kidding me? Why am I always cleaning up puke? I go up there to start but not before I tell him he's helping me.

I'm up there for quite some time. He never shows. I go downstairs and he's messing with his beer. Uh hello!!! He says he's coming. He moved the playroom couch and leaves. I start wiping up puke when I hear Jillian yell "I told you you had to clean up by yourself". Yes, she said that!! What is it with you people???

I finish cleaning up the puke and I go downstairs and finish putting away the groceries and then I go upstairs to help Jillian get into her pajamas and bring her back down stairs where she pukes again. In the toilet this time. We get her on the couch and start to watch Where The Wild Things Are. I cuddle with her for awhile until she has to puke again. We just get her a bowl now.

Brian asks what we're having for dinner. Patty melts but I haven't started them yet. You know because Jillian keeps puking. After we finally get settled and we had dinner and Jillian is only puking a little bit because she's all puked out Brian says, "Wow, what a stressful night. I'm trying to brew my beer and Jillian pukes and you aren't here and I have to put her in the bath and then you get here and start yelling at me to help you but I'm trying to brew my beer."

"I know it is stressful isn't it? That's like my night every night."

"I know. That's a lot of work."

Really?

Food Changes

2010-03-08T06:46:00.000-08:00

We have made a change in our house. With the food we buy. I watched the movie Food Inc. and I decided we were changing the way we buy our groceries. Because for some reason the stories struck a chord and I can't continue to ignore it.

First I decided to start using up every thing I already have in the fridge and pantry. I still have a few items left to use up, but for the most part we went through all the frozen meat and the unhealthy snacks in about a week, maybe two.

Next, I needed a place to buy meat. Either local or organic. I decided to go local. Which means making a trip out a few miles to a farm in Kuna, ID. Vogel Farms , where their animals are grass fed and they roam in the fields, not penned up in a dirty disgusting area where they can't even move. I see them when I drive up. Just hanging out in the field. Eating. They're always eating.

The only problem with buying local is that they don't have many chickens. I would prefer to eat chicken over beef and pork, but since we aren't going vegetarian I take what I can get. However, I will be serving at least one meatless meal a week. At least I'll try.

As for every thing else I am going to local farmer's markets and stands to buy our fruit and veggies and try and pick up items that are grown locally. There are a few exceptions, such as bananas and avocados, which I have to buy organic.

And shopping this way is not cheap. But that just means I need to cut down on the junk food and extra things that we don't actually need. My shopping cart has not been as full the past couple of weeks and it's kind of hard to figure out what is good and what isn't, but I think it just takes practice. And if I keep it up it will be easy to figure out what I want to buy. I think the kids probably hate the things I bring home for them to snack on, but they'll get used to it. And it's not like they don't get special treats every now and then.

And I just read this article. Which is another good reason to eat differently.

A Few Things

2010-02-25T10:42:00.001-08:00

-Brian vetoed my Taylor Swift song. He said he didn't want any Taylor Swift as our first song. Period. So, I'm still thinking about it.

-I have a check list of what I'm suppose to have accomplished and when on an online wedding site. Right now I'm behind because someone won't chose a best man and I can't mark off that I have my wedding party put together. I have my wedding party, but Brian doesn't have his and depending on who he chooses as best man, might determine whether I need another person in my wedding party. You see how this messes things up.

-Darby starts cheer leading next week. She's excited except I think it's on Wednesday when Brian has class. This usually isn't a big deal except that there's a mandatory baseball meeting. And I think it's on the same day. I should really look that up. I'll forget. And then I'll wonder what the heck I'm going to do next Wednesday.

-The kids had Awana on Tuesday night. It was a fun night because they raced their cars. They always have loser cars. Every year. And every year they say they are going to have better cars the next year. But they don't. Next year we are helping them with their cars instead of letting them do it themselves. They can paint them or something but not cut out the design. I think that's where the problem is.

-Tomorrow I'm taking a half day. So excited. Going with my maid of honor to lunch at place that might be the rehearsal dinner spot and then trying on dresses. I'm pretty sure I will have my dress picked out in the next couple of weeks. The girls and I went last weekend and if I didn't already have this little outing planned I probably would have my dress because I loved the ones I tried on. At the end of January we went to David's Bridal. I do not like that place. I won't be buying my dress from them. It's like a meat market in there.

-I've been doing these work out classes the past couple of weeks (speaking of meat markets) and they totally kick my ass. I think I've already lost a 1/2 lb. Not much but it's something. I love these classes but I'm skipping today's class. That's right. I'm lazy. Don't judge me.

-Found my caterer!!! It's this little Hawaiian restaurant and I love it. Just need to put down the deposit and we'll be good to go there. Another item I can check off my list.

-I also have my officiant. My friend from work is going to do it. We're doing the whole getting ordained online thing. It's pretty funny but she is awesome and she'll do a great job. I can't wait!!! Now if choosing a song was as easy...

Wedding Songs

2010-02-19T08:05:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm trying to decide on what I want our song to be for the first dance. Brian tells me that every thing I come up with is "lame". But the songs he likes are all break up songs. They are not wedding appropriate. He says he likes them and they're nice to listen. Hello, break up songs! His number one pick is Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. I love that song, it's one of my favorites right now but here's a sampling of the words:

It’s a quarter after one
I’m a little drunk
And I need you now
Said I wouldn’t call
But I’ve lost all control
And I need you now
And I don’t know how I can do without
I just need you now

Break up song. It's about two people who are not together anymore but wish they were. While that's a great sentiment, it's not a wedding song. The other one is Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone. As you can tell by the title, not a good start your life together song. Sheesh! So, if you know any good songs that maybe aren't "lame" or do not have to do with breaking up, please let them know.

In Love

2010-02-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day was awesome. Actually the day before was awesome. The day of was pretty nice, but mostly consisted of vegging out, recovering from the day before. Because apparently Brian and I are getting old.

We stayed out until about 10:30 Saturday night and headed back to the hotel. We didn't go to any bars or stay up too late. We were ready to call it quits. At 10:30. Like old people. But that's okay because we had an amazing dinner and we watched a cute chick flick and we even watched some of the Olympics while drinking a pretty good beer.

In other news, Jillian has a boyfriend. His name is Ashton and they go to the same daycare. They are so cute. Even the teachers know what good friends they are. The other day I picked up Jillian and she was trying to get a good-bye hug from Ashton who seemed to be ignoring her, intensely coloring a picture of Christmas stockings. He wouldn't even look up. She looked like she was going to cry. I tried to console her, telling her it was okay. He was coloring. She would see him the next day. That's when he jumped out of his chair, grabbed his sheet of Christmas stockings, held it out to me announced he had colored the picture for Jillian. And then they hugged. It was so cute.

The boys got hair cuts yesterday. Sport season is coming up and they need to be able to see the baseball. I was surprised. They didn't even fight it. Usually they tell us they're never going to get haircuts. Ever. But this time, nothing. It makes me a little suspicious...

The wedding plans are moving along. I met with Brian's ex sis-in-law yesterday at lunch. It's weird to call someone an ex sister-in-law, but she is. Anyway, she is my new wedding planner. She said she wouldn't let me pay for one and for some reason it was a big deal that I was going to, but if I can save money on the wedding planner I am completely for it. She will be good. She's creative and she knows what's she's doing. Most of the time. Which I need. And she likes talking to people and calling people and doing all of that stuff that I dread and procrastinate doing. Now if I could only get a personal assistant.

Not much else going on this week. Have a good one.

2010-02-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

I'm annoyed this morning so I'm trying to think about good things. Like this weekend Brian and I are going to stay at The Grove Hotel in downtown Boise for Valentine's Day and eat at their Italian restaurant. We're also going to see the movie Valentine's Day, for Valentine's Day because it looks cute and funny and light. And maybe we'll try a beer or two at TableRock Brewery since we are thinking about having them cater our wedding.

I can't explain my irritation this morning. It is definitely work related not home related. Some of these people...

Not a whole lot more going on. We went to a BSU basketball game last Saturday with Brian's brother. It was awful. They have a great football team but the basketball team did not do well. It was pretty sad. But going to the game was fun. I guess I do like basketball. A little bit.

Well, I have nothing...

WhirlWind

2010-02-05T07:38:00.000-08:00

Life is crazy good right now. I'm so busy, but it's fun busy. Well except for some work stuff. I just spent half the week in training. All day training with two breaks and lunch and it was pretty exhausting. Now that that's out of the way I have wedding plans to attend to.

This Saturday after I sign up the boys for baseball I'm taking the girls to another wedding show. I'm also consulting with another caterer this afternoon with Brian. Because Brian has to go to the catering consultations. I don't think he minds going to meetings that involve food and beer. I want to call another place that I found at the other wedding show. I loved their food and I heard they were a good catering business and not too expensive. I should just call today but next week I have a staff meeting, a doctor's appointment and I'm meeting with the wedding planner. But Monday is still open...

So Darby has decided she doesn't want to play softball. She said when she goes to middle school she wants to tryout for cheerleading. I'm going to put her in gymnastics and sign her up for cheer camps as they become available. There's one in a couple of weeks that sounds pretty fun and it's for ages 4-18 which means that Jilly can do it too. Perfect!

What else? Oh, I need to lose about 5 lbs before I can go try on wedding dresses again. I wasn't very happy about my appearance the first time I went so I'm dropping the pounds before I go again. And I'm going tanning because I'm just white. And splotchy. And I want to look pretty! :)

And it's official. I sent in my deposit on the Boise Depot last week. The date and place are set. There's no turning back.

2010-02-01T08:08:00.000-08:00

It's not OFFICIAL but we're thinking about going to Disney World for our honeymoon. Which was not the original plan. The original plan was to go to Mexico and lounge around all day in the sun and drink yummy cold drinks. Disney World is a little bit different. There will be a lot of walking and a lot of activities, but also a lot of fun.

You see, when I changed my dates it messed up Brian's brother's vacation plans. That he really can't re-schedule, which I didn't know until I changed my date. But it's okay. Brian's brother is going to be in Disney World for 2 weeks and since he won't make the wedding he invited us to go down there the second week and spend our honeymoon. It's pretty exciting. I think we'll get details worked out during the Super Bowl.

This week at work is not going to be fun. Tuesday-Thursday I have a training class from 8-5. Not cool. Ugh. I'm totally dreading it. Other than that it should be an okay week. The kids don't have anything going on and I'm taking the girls to another wedding show this weekend. It's going to be fun.

I think I might change my colors to navy blue and yellow and not go with Halloween colors. I'm so indecisive right now. Next week I'm meeting with a coordinator so hopefully that will help me.

Getting Married/Marriage

2010-01-29T07:48:00.001-08:00

Okay, okay. So I've been writing a lot about wedding plans and places and things and when, but of course there's more to getting married then the wedding. Which I know so I just wanted to clarify that I do know this, but the wedding part has me really excited.

Brian asked me the other day if I was more excited for the wedding, the party after the wedding or the marriage. He knows the answer. I'm really excited for the wedding and the reception. But I also know the marriage will be great. Because we're already great. And every thing happened like it was suppose to happen. For us. Not in the "traditional" sense. We didn't meet and date and get engaged and get married and have kids. All that stuff was out of order. But, we've been together for around 8 years. And we live together and we get along even better than most couples and I think we try and compromise and make sure not to hurt each other's feelings and we try not to freak out over the little things. We're pretty good at that.

And the proposal was an actual get on one knee and say sweet things proposal. It was perfect. And it was what I wanted, with the person I want to be with. It was a complete surprise. A wonderful surprise and I didn't have a single doubt in my mind about the answer. Not any kind of hesitation what so ever.

And I moved up the date. Because I found the perfect spot and after I had my perfect spot I didn't want to wait. So we are having a Halloween wedding. 10-30-10. Not exactly Halloween but pretty close. I love Halloween. It's my favorite time of year. I think this is the perfect date. And the weather on Halloween seems to be better than in March. At least in my part of the world. And so there you have it. I'm not turning back. The spot is reserved. I'm making a deposit for the photographer tomorrow and the planning officially begins.

2010-01-25T07:57:00.000-08:00

I think we found it. The spot for our wedding. We went to a million places and it was the last place, the place I didn't think I would like but I absolutely love. I'm done. I'm not looking at one more location because it is perfect. Perfect size, perfect look, perfect price.

We went to the Boise Art Museum last week and I loved that, but it was pretty spendy and I don't think it's really us. I am going with the Boise Depot. It is beautiful and historic and perfect. I don't have any other way to explain it. So there you have it. Oh and I changed the date. Again. To March 26, 2011. I'm trying to get it to coincide with the beginning of Spring Break and I was having problems figuring that out but I think I have it right. March 26 next year at the Boise Depot, with photographer Kevin Roberts. We met with him on Saturday and he does an awesome job. I loved his photos.

Now I get to find a caterer and a cake and a dress and bridesmaid dresses (I have my bridesmaids, at least most of them, I might need one more) and I also need a wedding planner to help me with set up of the room. I'm sure there will be another million things I need to do but I have the place! I'm so happy.

And Brian is so good about my wedding craziness. I tell him we have an appointment or we're going to go check out some places and we need to do this and this and this and he goes and we have fun checking out different wedding things together. It's fun!

It just seems so far away!!!

Other than wedding stuff my birthday party went well. I took Friday off so I could run some errands and get ready because my Saturday was pretty much full of running around already and Friday night I took Darby to a hockey game. And lucky us, we had seats right next to her school principal. She was thrilled let me tell you. It was pretty funny. Now I'm back at work. And I'm working the whole entire week. I do get to go to dinner tomorrow for a work thing and they always take us some place nice. So I have something to look forward to. Otherwise business as usual. Have a great week.

This Is Birthday Week

2010-01-18T07:09:00.000-08:00

So, the next 14 months or so you're going to get a lot of wedding plan updates. This weekend we went and met with a photographer who I really liked, but I'm going to call a couple more just for comparison.

We also went to the Rose Room. Which we also really liked, and is a little weird because at first we had completely ruled it out. It's a pretty popular place to get married and I think we just thought it had been done and it wasn't for us. I think the reason it's so popular is because the room can be set up so many different ways and the times are so flexible. Unlike The Penthouse the doors are open all day and you have access to come and go as you please. We can also set up an area for the wedding ceremony and an area for the reception with out having to move any chairs around. And there are more options with the catering and bar selections than at the Adelmann Building, which was beautiful, but seriously, we're not paying $1000's for drinks.

This week I'm going to check out the sky box at the Boise State Stadium. That's right, you can get married overlooking the Bronco's football field. I admit I'm pretty much going just to look but I don't think I'm too serious about it. If I am my colors are so going to be blue and orange. I don't care what Brian says. I also have an appointment to see the Boise Art Museum, which I think would be really, really elegant but maybe not for us. We've decided on a more casual wedding. Traditional yet simple.

I'm pretty busy this week besides with wedding stuff. Riley's birthday is on Tuesday, which actually gets a little tricky because I wanted to take him and the kids out to dinner but the other kids have Awanas. And normally for a birthday I would let them skip Awanas except that Darby spent a good portion of her weekend working on a cardboard car for the theme this week, which is Drive In Movie night. And Jordan will be working on his tonight and hopefully Jillian will be working on hers Tuesday during the day. I asked Riley if it was okay to go out on Wednesday night and he said he didn't really care. Maybe I will just tell his dad he can have him on Tuesday. Hmph!

Also, Brian's birthday is on Wednesday. And since he won't be home until very late on Wednesday (and we're going out for Riley's birthday that night) I'm going to make his birthday dinner on Thursday, which is actually his mom's birthday. And I still don't know what I'm getting him. He said not to get anything big and I am just clueless about what to buy. Same with Riley. I guess he might get money. But I'm going to be getting Brian something.

As you can see there are three birthdays in a row, Riley, Brian and Brian's mom so to celebrate I'm going to have a triple birthday on Saturday night. If I can throw it all together. I have to call everyone today and at some point I'll need to go shopping and the house gets cleaned today so that's good. But Friday night Darby and I are going to a hockey game. Just us, was her request. It's her school's hockey night at the Idaho Steelheads and you get tickets and a hot dog for $12, which is a good deal, but that means I'll get nothing done on Friday. Which is fine.

Oh and I also need to lose about 5 or 6 lbs because that's what I gained this holiday season. Not good!

Location, Location, Location

2010-01-14T07:44:00.001-08:00

I have to admit, this wedding planning stuff is fun. Yesterday we went to check out the Adelmann building. It was so pretty inside and almost seemed perfect but there's an issue with the drinks. We want an open bar and the way their bar catering is set up it would be way expensive. They are on hold until we look into some other options.

This afternoon we're going to look at The Penthouse at CW Plaza. This one looks promising but of course there are other issues. They have a great selection of caterers but you only get the location from 3 pm to midnight and three hours of that is set up and clean up. The other locations give you all day.

I've emailed a couple other places and haven't heard back. It makes me anxious. I want to get the location settled so I can start planning the other stuff. Like the catering, the cake, the entertainment. I tell you this wedding is going to be fun. I'm doing exactly what I want. I think we have finally settled on 3-19-11 for the date but until we get our location that's subject to change. Since the weather is going to be iffy in March we need an indoor location. And that kind of limits the number of people we can invite, which also causes a problem because it seems our invitation list keeps getting longer and longer.

But it will all work out. No problems. I have given myself plenty of time to plan. And so far I'm a little obsessed. I don't know if I'll start to slow down but I have a feeling I won't. Tomorrow I'm taking my maid of honor to look at dresses. Saturday we have an appointment with a photographer. Next week I don't have anything planned but I'm pretty sure that will change.

I'm just so excited!!!

So Far Best Year Ever...

2010-01-06T07:29:00.001-08:00

We woke up at 5:15 on New Year's day after having people over for wine and appetizers to ring in the New Year. We have awesome guests because by 12:10 am everyone had cleared out. Including my Jilly Bean who stayed up so late and was so tired and begging to go to bed but had to wait for Grandma and Grandpa to take her home so that she could spend the next 6 nights with them. Which is the longest she has ever stayed away from home and I miss her so much. So I'm skipping work today to go get her early.

On Friday we drove all day to Las Vegas. I love road trips! I think that might be because I'm a little spoiled. Just a little. On the way to Las Vegas/Phoenix I drove from our house to Walmart. On the way home from Phoenix (14-15 hour drive) I drove from Boise to Nampa which I think is like 17 miles or something. I don't know why Brian doesn't like me to drive, but I'm okay with that.

Last time Brian and I went to Vegas we didn't really know what we were doing and I felt rushed the entire time and tired and hot. This time we did better. We gambled a little. We ate a little. We drank way too much. We had reservations for a fancy restaurant that we cancelled because we were having too much fun. It was great.

After a couple of nights in Vegas we headed down to Phoenix. I was so excited because I have never been to Phoenix. People in Phoenix are much nicer than people in Vegas. And we were going to the Fiesta Bowl. I could not wait. There was a pretty good mix of BSU and TCU fans at our hotel. I was a little afraid of the TCU fans after encountering a couple at the hotel. They seemed kind of smug. But the ones we met at the tailgate party and game were very nice. In fact, one of them took a picture of us together in our suite at the game. It was pretty funny.

And that's right, we had tickets for a suite. It was awesome!!! Brian scored tickets from one of our transportation carriers for seats inside their corporate box. It was so much fun. I can't even describe it.

But even before the game, the night we arrived in Phoenix Brian asked about a nice restaurant we could go to since we missed our reservations in Vegas. We had steak and lobster and it was fantastic and then we went outside into this garden area and Brian popped the question. That's right, the question and gave me the most beautiful ring I could ever hope for and I was totally, completely shocked. I did not expect it. At all.

It turns out that my friend knew all about it and I can't wait to give her a hard time because looking back she was acting so weird!!! But I'm so excited and happy and I can't wait to start planning!!!

Here's a pic of my pretty ring. I gotta go pick up my baby girl because I miss her like you wouldn't believe.

PS I haven't even told my family or Brian's family. I guess I'll start telling today. Starting with Brian's parents. They will be so surprised. I think everyone has just gotten used to the idea that we weren't getting married. But we are!

What An Imagination

2009-12-29T07:43:00.000-08:00

Jillian has the most insane imagination. I can not believe the things she comes up with. Right off the top of her head. I mentioned her imaginary friend in my short post below. Her name is Kara and she goes to college. Kara and Jillian think cows are disgusting. Her and Kara were with Kara's mom driving and they saw a cow and both thought it was disgusting. Sometimes Kara is mean to Jillian. Jillian's brother and sister once called her and pretended to be Kara. Jillian was so happy to talk to Kara on the phone. They are no longer allowed to do that however, because she wanted to keep calling Kara over and over again on the phone. It was kind of annoying. And Jillian wanted Kara to come over and was upset when I wasn't able to make that happen. Darby did come up with a plan to make Kara invisible so that she could visit us. Without actually being there, because she's not real.

The other day she mentioned that she was part Vampirish. You know, like one might be part English, or Scottish, or Irish or whatever. Jillian is part Vampire. She loves vampires. I'm not sure why, they kind of scare me, but I guess if your part vampire you wouldn't be easily scared by them.

She's just so cute. She has an answer for everything. I'm a little afraid though. I think it's a fine line between wild imagination and little white lie. Like last night when her dad asked what she was doing and she replied, "playing with muppets". Hmmm.

2009-12-21T08:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!!! Going to be pretty busy this week, but a good busy. Not much to post. Except that Jillian has an imaginary friend named Kara, and she's kind of getting annoying. But more on that later....

Rough Night

2009-12-15T06:57:00.000-08:00

Last night was the worse night of sleep. First Brian couldn't sleep and was tossing and turning, which woke me up. Then he went downstairs and I just couldn't sleep without him so I went downstairs. We watched the trailers for Avatar and New Moon. They look like okay movies. After that we went back to bed around 11:15 and I did fall asleep only to wake up about 4:40 am. Dang, the stupid alarm goes off at 5:15. This sucks! And then, we hear the crying. Jillian wet her bed. So, after stripping down her and the bed and putting her in the shower and starting the washer, it was time for my shower. Just great! Hopefully I don't fall asleep at my desk today. So, I know your dying to hear about my weekly plans. I'm so busy! I am actually going to have to make lists or I'll completely lose track of what I'm doing.

Today I need to get Brian's parents their gifts. I'm making stockings for a few people this year and I need to get gifts small enough to fit into these really cute stockings I bought at Old Navy for $1. I also need to get my friend Bert her gift. She lost a lot of weight this year and mentioned that none of her pajama bottoms fit anymore. Which just happens to work out because Old Navy has all of their pj's on sale for $8. I need to run these two errands during "lunch". I'm actually spending my lunch listening for phone calls because Brian's group will be going out to lunch today. This really puts a damper on my plans. I also have to work out and I have a meeting at 3. I will make it work though. I will.

Tonight is Awanas, which is good. After I drop the kids off I'm running over to JC Penney to get some socks (to put in the stockings) and then going over to Fred Meyer to return a few items and pick up some candy, which includes a Hershey bar for Jordan's secret Santa gift exchange at school to go with the hackey sack I already bought. Luckily all of the teacher's gifts are already purchased and wrapped, which reminds me, I need to give Darby her teacher's gift tonight.

Tomorrow is our potluck at work. I decided I'm re-gifting for the white elephant gift exchange. First of all, it's a white elephant gift exchange so you aren't expected to bring anything fantastic, and second, I always try to buy something cute and funny and then I either end up with my own gift or something really awful. So I'm re-gifting and I doubt anyone will even know. I am also suppose to bring something for the potluck and I'm totally cheating this year because I don't have time to cook tonight. So fried chicken from the grocery store it is. Oh and I have a doctor's appointment that morning. Dr. appointment, pick up chicken, potluck and gift and exchange and I really need to work out that afternoon. My pants are starting to snug up. Ugh!

After work tomorrow I have my eye brow wax appointment and then I might just go home, or I'll stop and pick up the rest of my stocking stuff. Depends on how I'm feeling.

Thursday is not a good day. Last week my former boss passed away. She had a tumor in her brain that was the result of breast cancer. She finally retired from work last year and the last few months were pretty hard on her and her family. It's very sad and she was very young and has three young daughters. Her services are on Thursday. I'm sure that most of our group will be going. I'm very sad for her family and it makes me so thankful that I have such healthy kids and Brian and that I'm healthy. It also shows that health can change very quickly and nothing should be taken for granted. It's scary. That night is also Jillian's program. She has a line in the play and she has all of her songs memorized. I am so excited to see her. There will be a ton of pics. I actually have quite a few pictures of Jordan and Darby's programs too, but they are still on the camera.

Friday, I have a lunch and other things going on and I don't even want to think about it. I think we have a party that evening, which means I need to get Jillian a sitter, and blah, blah, blah. And for sure by Saturday I need my gifts wrapped so Brian and his dad can drive them up to the cabin. And I feel overwhelmed but if I get it all done this week and I can enjoy my days off the next week. I've already made plans to have lunch with Brian's sister-in-law. The sane one. I'm very excited for Christmas week. The kids don't have school and I won't be rushed to get things done. It will be nice. I think.

Christmas Countdown

2009-12-06T05:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, the week wasn't completely awful. It could have been much worse. The coming weeks are going to be so busy they are going to fly by they are so packed with things going on.

-Monday: Christmas program for Jordan's class.
-Tuesday: Christmas program for Darby's class.
-Friday: Make fudge and hash brown casserole for holiday treat brunch on Saturday.
-Saturday: Holiday treat brunch.

Oh yes, and I need to have all the "Santa" gifts wrapped by Saturday so that Brian and his dad can take them up to the cabin, which is where we are going to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning this year. This wrapping thing is not easy. Do you see Monday and Tuesday? I have those two Christmas programs, which will pretty much take all evening. And this weekend was shot on doing any wrapping because I have Jillian and Brian is working. And let me tell you, if I tried to lock myself in the room without her, she would probably break down the door. I guess Wednesday and Thursday I'll need to get it all together. Friday evening I'll be busy shopping and baking. Ahhhh!

The next week isn't going to be that much better. The beginning of the week is pretty much open but Thursday is Jillian's Christmas program at her daycare, Friday I have a lunch with my bestest girlfriend in the world and Friday evening we have a going away party for a guy at work. I wasn't actually invited but Brian was and he can bring a date. Me! The next weekend as far as I can tell I have no plans. I'm really looking forward to that. I'll be wrapping gifts all weekend and hopefully finishing my shopping. Because then I have the next week off from work. I can not wait!!! I need a week off. It will be somewhat busy but I love it. And I think a lady at work is starting to lose it again so it will be nice to have a break from that.

What to do today? I'm not sure, maybe some shopping and that's probably about it. I was thinking that I might figure out how to set up Netflix on the Xbox for the boys, but I probably need Riley to figure out how to do that. And maybe Brian. Maybe not. I might try. Riley and Darby should just come home early from their dad's. Seriously!

What I Expect To Be The Longest Week Ever

2009-11-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

Last week was so nice. I did not want to come back into work this morning. But I did and I was on time. I forgot my access card though. My routine is a little off. And I didn't go grocery shopping yesterday like I normally do. I will be doing that tonight. Which is weird. And I will take Jillian. Luckily I have a short list this week.

Instead of grocery shopping Brian and I went Christmas shopping. We shopped all weekend long, yes beginning Friday morning. After a very successful Thanksgiving dinner at our house, which included lots of wine and beer we were unable to sleep. We went to bed early around 9 or 9:30, but we both woke up at around 12:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. Brian got up and browsed the Internet and I did the rest of the dishes from the night before. And then we went shopping. We had a few ideas of what we wanted, but we didn't have to have one thing in particular, which made the shopping experience pretty okay. It was crowded but there is no way I'm going to fight someone over a "good deal". The kids do not need or want anything that badly.

What we actually ended up getting them for their big gifts are things they asked for and we originally said no way. I don't really know how that happened, but I suspect they will be very surprised. I'm so excited.

I know a lot of people "boycott" Black Friday, but since we have FOUR kids, it's really beneficial when you can save a few dollars on each kid. I guess it wouldn't be so important if we didn't have any kids or maybe just one kid. And besides, it's our tradition to go every year. It's the one time of year Brian doesn't complain about shopping and the crowds and we eat breakfast and it's just fun. Of course, I was exhausted by the time we got home. But it was certainly worth it. And I don't know what the difference is between buying the toy you are going to get anyway on Friday or waiting until Saturday, when it's not on sale. It doesn't make sense.

We also went to the tree lighting ceremony in Boise. I thought it was fun. There were a lot of complaints about how long it took and how cold it was and blah, blah, blah. Fortunately for me, kids only remember that they went and their parents took them and possibly when they are older they will think it's a good idea to take their kids and stand in the freezing cold and watch the Mayor turn on the lights. So there! And Jillian loved when the lights came on and was clapping and holding up her candle they gave us. She was also counting down with everyone and singing the Christmas songs. I don't think that sounds like a kid having a horrible time.

A Short Work Week

2009-11-23T08:11:00.000-08:00

This year we get the day before and the day after Thanksgiving off. For reasons I don't entirely understand. We changed our pay schedules and now we get two extra days off this year. It's fine by me, I just don't know WHY. We usually get the day after Thanksgiving off, but this is going to be a short week. I'm so happy. Our other extra day is going to be New Year's Eve. I'm so excited since I've already used up most of my vacation days for the year.

You would think that would mean an easy week for me but it's not true. Today is Jordan's 9th birthday so I am making brownies and we're giving him his gifts.

Wednesday we are having a birthday party for him and his friends. We're going roller skating. So that means getting ready for a four hour birthday party, plus that morning I have a doctor's appointment to go to.

Thursday is Thanksgiving at our house. I'm actually really, really spoiled. Brian's mom is doing most of the cooking, we're just hosting. I have to make mashed potatoes and rolls. But getting the house ready can be crazy sometimes. Riley and Darby are spending Thanksgiving with their dad. So sad, but I have them for Christmas this year, so I just have to deal with it. We're also going to be celebrating Jordan's birthday that day with Brian's family so he'll get a few more gifts.

And Friday we will be doing our Christmas shopping. Yes, we go out every year and fight the crowds, but I like it. And I'm not crazy. I won't kill someone over a gift. Plus, we always have breakfast and it's just a fun tradition.

So this isn't going to be an exactly relaxed week, but it will be enjoyable and that does count.

2009-11-20T07:27:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday we lost our little friend Lucy. It was so sad. Everyone was crying. She was the best guinea pig. She was cute and sweet and wouldn't hurt anyone. Ever. She loved lettuce but not carrots and she wouldn't eat the green pellets out of her food. Once she was finished with the stuff she liked, she would dump the bowl. She was quirky and curious and I really liked her. And she would greet us with whistles when we walked into the room or when she was hungry.

But for a few days she just sort of sat in a corner and she didn't eat or drink and Wednesday morning I told Jillian she didn't sound very good and Wednesday evening when we came home she was gone. The kids didn't see her. Luckily we came home first and I found her and Brian put her in a shoe box, but when they realized she wasn't there and would never be again there were a lot of tears.

Jillian called Darby who is at her dad's this week and told her all about it and how sad it was and how much she loved Lucy and Lucy was their friend, which made Darby start crying. When I took the phone and talked to Darby I could hear Riley in the back ground yell "Oh my gosh Darby it's going to be okay". He's so insensitive.

Yesterday I couldn't help myself. I had to go look at guinea pigs. I didn't plan to get a new one, I just wanted to begin my search for the perfect new pet for us. The first store I went to didn't have any guinea pigs, just bunnies. The second store I went to had both bunnies and guinea pigs and they were all placed together in the same cages. I found a very cute, very young piggy with the same hair color as Lucy, but it was the crazy hair instead of the smooth hair. I picked her up and she was squirmy and she nibbled my fingers and I didn't really like it. I tried to pet a few of the others but they just ran away.

When I realized the pigs at this store weren't what I was looking for I started to notice the bunnies. The very cute, very little, very mellow bunnies. One of the bunnies was even grooming the baby guinea pig and it was so cute and when I picked one up it just snuggled up to me and let me hold her. The one I was drawn to was small and gray and her ears stood straight up.

I went back to work and told Brian that a bunny might be a good option. They were really cute. He had wanted me to take the kids to a store near our house and I said it would be a good idea to stop by on our way home to see if they even had anything worth looking at before I brought the kids.

They had one bunny. A Holland Lop, is what she is called. She is black and fluffy and her ears lop down. She is very small and at first I just didn't know. I asked the sales people some questions about bunnies and decided I needed to hold her. And that was it. I love her. She's never going to get very big, she can be potty trained to go in a litter box, and Lucy's old cage is the perfect size for her. And she doesn't run when you try and pet her. Her name is Ruby and she moved in yesterday. I feel bad it was so soon. I hadn't even cleaned out Lucy's cage yet and it made me sad to throw out her bed that she loved so much, but I love this bunny. She is going to be a good addition.

Brian said when I was holding the bunny my face lit up like it was Christmas morning. And he sarcastically added that he had actually never seen my face so happy on any of our Christmas mornings together. Whatever, so not true. I'm pretty sure my face is that happy when I get those little blue boxes in my stockings. So there.

2009-11-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

I survived Jillian's birthday and the BSU/UofI game. And I did it on very little food. I'm just so proud of myself. Since I'm not able to work out as much during this holiday season and since I've decided that gaining 10 lbs again is not an option, my friend and I have come up with a "liquid diet" for the holidays. You either choose the food or the booze. These two parties I decided to go with the booze.

The game was pretty good and I still talked too much, but so did everyone. And in my defense, Brian's dad keeps my wine glass full and I just think it would be rude to tell him no.

At Jillian's birthday I actually wasn't going to drink anything at all because it's a child's birthday party and we weren't really serving up drinks, but after everyone left Brian's sis-in-law (or rather X sis-in-law) stayed longer and I brought out the opened bottle of wine from the fridge. She doesn't drink. It was just for me. And there is major drama with that situation and a bottle of wine is just what a person needs when confronted with such---DRAMA. But I won't lie. I like to be in the know. And now everyone wants to know what I know. Which really isn't much because some things just didn't make sense to me.

Anyway, Thanksgiving there won't be any drama. So I haven't decided about the food or the booze. I'm just going to play that one by ear.

The holiday music has started. Jillian's very excited so we've been listening to it but I'm pretty sure I'll be sick of it before Christmas. Usually they don't start the music until after Thanksgiving but I guess they want you in the Christmas mood early this year. Whoever the heck they are.

Okay, I guess I better to go to my meeting with my boss. It was pushed up from this afternoon to this morning which is fine by me.

Time To Get Busy

2009-11-12T07:09:00.000-08:00

Saturday is the big BSU/U of I game so Brian's brother is having a party for that event. I hope for the Vandals sake it's a good game. Otherwise I'll be drinking too much and talking with the girls the whole time. Sometimes I get some good family gossip that way. And sometimes I say to0 much. Let's just hope it's a good game.

Sunday is my Jilly Bean's 4th birthday. That's right. Four. And I'm so sad. Brian found an old pic of her when she was probably 2 or so and she has this sweet little smile and these chunky, perfect cheeks and I want to kiss her a million times. And it makes me a little teary that my little baby is a big girl who says words she shouldn't say and tells me I'm fat and says that she hates when I'm mad at her and she goes down the stairs as slow as she possibly can when she knows we're running late. And last night, we were all watching the movie Up and she was crying because the old man's wife died. She's a big girl.

Which is probably the reason I have desperately wanted a puppy lately. I know I don't need a puppy and I know I can't take care of a puppy and I know that I'm not getting a puppy, but I look at puppy ads at least twice a week, just wishing for a puppy. And I dream about puppies. And I do have a puppy, well a dog, but she's an outside dog but I want her to be an inside dog so that I won't want a puppy anymore but Brian won't let her in because he says she smells and she ruins the floor. And I tried to put socks on her once so she wouldn't ruin the floor and that upset both the dog and Jillian because they were Jillian's socks and I guess dogs don't like to wear socks.

So, Sunday is Jilly's birthday and since we're having the game party on Saturday I figured we would just have people over for cake and ice cream Sunday afternoon and let her open her presents. Then I thought we would take her skating which is a little more expensive than you might think, but the day before Thanksgiving they're having a discount night so we'll be going then.

And tomorrow I need to get treats for Jillian to take to preschool for her birthday. And Tuesday I need treats for her to take to Awanas for her birthday. And next Friday I need to make treats for Jordan to take to his school for his birthday. And he has decided he wants fudge, but in the shape of a turkey for Thanksgiving. This might be possible. We shall see.

And then it's Jordan birthday. I have no idea what we'll do for his birthday yet. Oh and did I mention we were have Thanksgiving at our house this year? Yep, we are. I have decided that I'm just taking one day at a time. Otherwise, I might freak out.

2009-11-10T07:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm back at work. Last week I had a few days off. Because I had my surgery. Honestly, except for the first day which consisted of being in considerable pain, not being able to move and vomiting, it was the best week ever.

I had my surgery Tuesday at 11:30 and wasn't able to eat a dang thing that morning. I couldn't even have coffee or put on make-up or wear lotion or hairspray. Nothing. I did, however, vote. In my pajamas. I know. Tacky. Anyway, it wasn't much of an election this year. Mayor, two city council spots and a jail bond. Everyone I voted for won, but the jail bond did not pass, which makes me sad. Because I just don't understand why people don't want the best police protection possible. It was called the jail bond because it would put money into a new jail, but it would also give money for new and better equipment. I don't get it. People are crazy.

Okay, so I go to the doctor's and get all drugged up and I have no idea what is going on but I know people are talking to me and I'm responding, but I don't know what I'm saying. Just rambling. I do remember they could not find a vein for the IV and that sucked and I remember the doctor making marks on my body, which was weird, and then nothing. Next thing I know I wake up and the nurse is zipping up my jacket and she said that she can barely zip it up now and Brian said I looked like a Barbie.

The rest of the week Brian did nothing but take care of me and it was awesome! I watched movies, he made my meals. The only time he was gone was the first night when he had class. My friend came over and fed the kids and gave me my pills and walked me to the bathroom and held the bowl while I puked. She is a really good friend.

Right now things aren't very pretty. I have some ugly bruising and I still have stitches, but the pain isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Brian said I was like a pit bull. :) I'm just so excited. I know it's so unnecessary and a bit superficial but I just love that I could do this and Brian was so great about it. My shirts already look better!

Halloween Fun

2009-11-02T05:38:00.000-08:00

Look at that creepy cute face! This is my little vampire bride. A close up of her face anyway, because she was making a vampire face. This was later in the evening. She did have fangs painted on but they wore off. I think she had the best time trick-or-treating. She was so excited. We had such a fun Halloween. I'm glad I invited people over and we stayed home. Lots of fun.
Okay, I'm going to be away for awhile but I thought I would post a pic.

The Time Has Come, The Time is Now

2009-10-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

It's almost here. Halloween. Woo hoo! It's like the kick off to the holidays and I'm very excited this year. As long as I don't get burned out before Thanksgiving which could happen considering there's also two birthday's before then. But I don't really have to do much for Thanksgiving so I should be able to relax.

And I'm having that little surgery I mentioned before. It's next Tuesday and I'm a little nervous and so, so excited. Because I can't wait to be "enhanced" but nervous because I won't be able to do much for a few weeks and that's scary. Because I'm a busy person. It should be fine. Really. It's okay that I won't be able to pick up Jillian for 6-8 weeks. Like Brian said, she doesn't need to be picked up. Even though I pick her up to take her to bed and to put her into bed and I pick her up so she can pick out which clothes to wear for the day... Brian will have to do some picking up. She does need to be carried. Poor baby.

My friend bought me this tank top from this little diner by her house. It's called Boobies and the tank top is so cute! I can't wait to wear it. I have not told hardly anyone that I'm getting this done. The only people that know are Brian, my friend from work and my hair girl. And now you because I can tell my blogger readers anything since my family does not read this. I didn't tell my family or people at work or anyone because while I'm excited to look awesome in my shirts I don't really want people just looking at my shirt. You know what I mean? And if you don't, even with all my round about ways of telling you what I'm having done, well, just think about it. Okay?

The good thing is I'm taking 4 days off from work and I get to do nothing but lay around and take drugs. It's not the ideal vacation but it should do.

So, back to Halloween. I decided I was going to have people over and I'm making homemade mac n cheese and chili and I'll have treats and scary movies and the kids can just hang out in the house and go trick or treating and just have fun. I haven't invited many people yet but Halloween is pretty casual so I'll just mention it to some people and they can come if they want. And if they don't want to, that's fine too.

We're also having a thing at work that I was kind of being a Scrooge about for reasons that don't need mentioning but I think it will be pretty fun. Everyone keeps asking me to bring the kids but getting them here and back is kind of a pain. Even Darby has been asking. Ugh I don't know. Maybe I'll just have to figure it out.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Have a Happy Halloween!

The Wedding Planner

2009-10-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

Jillian loves wedding stuff right now. She talks about her Barbies getting married and she picked out a Wedding Day Barbie the other day at the store. She wants a wedding cake for her birthday and she loves wedding dresses. She points out gazebos and tells me "that is where people get married". She's obsessed. I think she's going to be a wedding planner when she grows up.

Oh and for Halloween she decided she was going to be a vampire. Because vampires are scary and she loves scary. A few days ago she revised this to "vampire bride". So I bought an angel costume and she can wear the white dress (minus the wings of course) under her vampire cape that my mom made for her. She's so weird.

On the same topic, Darby would make a great fashion designer. I find sketches of outfits all over the house with captions such as "snow suit for girls".

Maybe Jillian can plan weddings and Darby can design the dresses. That sounds pretty alright to me.

2009-10-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

Baseball is over. I'm not really sad and I don't feel guilty about it because Riley isn't really sad either. I think he's relieved. What have I learned from this? That baseball all year round is too much for both the parent and the kid. I guess there's only so much baseball a mom can handle in a year.

Jillian, however, will do soccer again in the Spring. I think she likes the social aspect of the sport more than anything because she doesn't care that she's the only one on the team that hasn't scored a goal. In fact, she has no interest in taking the ball down the field. She just runs along with every one else and gives her coaches high fives. Sometimes she gets the ball, but she won't fight to keep it. And that's fine. Because she likes it. And if she doesn't want to score I'm sure there are worse things, like her just standing in the field not moving.

Friday night we went to a school carnival at the elementary school that is about 3 blocks from our house. The one that none of the kids go to. We went because Darby is friends with the neighbor girl who goes there and Riley and his middle school friends all went because several of them use to go there. Anyway, I don't know why I was surprised, but I could not believe how many of the parents I knew. It was crazy. Siblings from Jillian's soccer team were there, of course most of our neighbors were there, I even saw one of my friends that I go out with every now and then. I had no idea her kids go there. Brian said we should probably have Jillian go there. I agree.

Right now Jordan goes to a charter school, which might have been an option for Jillian but now we're going to have to think about it. It's a good school and Jordan loves it there and does really well, but seriously, 3 blocks away. Darby goes to Owyhee, which is near us and she can catch a bus pretty close to our neighborhood, but she goes there because of where her dad lives. I love that school. The teacher's are really great, but considering that we don't live in the same area that won't be an option for Jilly. So, we'll see I guess.

Well, just a couple more weeks until Halloween. I'm very excited. Have a great week!

2009-10-16T08:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, remember that Halloween music I was so happy that Jillian was listening to? I take that back. I'm already sick of the Halloween CD. Luckily last night she allowed me to change the CD to another Halloween CD. Her new favorite song is "Nightmare on My Street". Remember Fresh Prince? Vaguely? She loves that song. It's pretty funny but I'm sure I'll be tired of it by next week.

Still don't know what I'm going to do for Halloween. I have to do something! I just don't know what. Since we're staying home it's going to have to be fun. It just has to be.

Okay, now for some more 4 year old drama. Last night after we picked up Riley from baseball practice Jillian informed me that she was going to leave her boots in the car. Okay, what do I care. Leave them.

Later in the evening Brian and Jordan went out to the car to find a lost book, which they did not find and apparently costs $11 to replace. Anyway, Brian brought in some things from the car, which included Jillian's boots.

When I noticed that he brought in Jillian's boots, I told him she was going to be mad because she wanted them left in the car. He matter-of-factly said that she would forget about it.

This morning as she is walking down the stairs she spied the boots and began yelling at me that she told me she wanted those left in the car. She was mad. And she called me fat, which she does to hurt my feelings. And it does a little. But mostly it was funny.

To diffuse the situation I had her call her dad at work and leave a message. It was only 6:25 am and he wasn't to the office yet, but he had already left. So she couldn't yell at him in person. What a dork. Let me tell you, there is nothing in the world that would take me away from these moments. The every day silly little moments that just happen. You can't plan this stuff. Of course, all moms know these times are irreplaceable. But when you have a 4 year old it's like every day!

School Kids

2009-10-13T07:25:00.001-07:00

Our computer program thing at work is down for another 36 minutes. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this time, but I guess I might as well blog. I've been surfing the Internet this morning looking for Supernatural posters to get Jilly for her birthday. They have one on the official website that I would be interested in getting, however I'm having technical difficulties. I signed up for their fan club and I'm suppose to receive a discount but it's not working, so I emailed them.

I was also checking out the activities offered at our rec center for the kids to do this winter. So far, the choices are swimming lessons and Tang Soo Do. They also have a kayak class in November. It's one night for a couple of hours and it's free. I think that would be fun for the older kids. I guess we'll see what I decide. Or they decide.

Went to Jordan's parent-teacher conference last night. Good stuff, of course. He has talking issues but he promises to work on that. I don't know if he'll ever be able to completely stop talking in class but it could be worse, I'm sure. I've never had to sit through one of those conferences before and I hope I never do. Riley and I went to his conference when he was in 5th. There was another student and his parents there too and they were not having a good conference. Very awkward.

Right now Jordan is doing awesome grade-wise, but Darby and Riley have some areas for improvement. Riley's problem is Science and he is going to be in serious trouble if he does not correct that C. It's pretty annoying. He has a 98% in Pre-Engineering, which is a class he loves, but a C in Science. I'm certain it has to do with his interest in the class. I'm working on getting him more "interested".

Darby's problem area is Math. I don't blame her but she needs to be doing better. Way better. I just emailed her teacher to see if I can get some practice worksheets. I don't think she's really applying herself this year and it really upsets me because she has done so well in the previous years. I don't know what's wrong with her but I'm pretty sure I can blame her dad for it. I'm just saying...

And Jillian is just cute. And sassy. She doesn't get graded on those things though. Brian and I were just talking about her starting kindergarten. That makes me so sad, but I know she is going to love going to school. Maybe not at first because there's that whole "everything is new" panic she goes into, but after a couple of days she'll like it. She has loved Awanas now that she's in the big kid class. She's more willing to let me leave her and I spy on her sometimes and she's participating and talking to the teacher and the other kids. It's good to get her socialized. Like one might do for a dog. That's what I always think of when I tell people that I'm trying to get Jillian more socialized. But I am. She's shy and afraid of new situations. We have to get her out there and comfortable with the world. You know, socialize her.

2009-10-08T06:54:00.000-07:00

It's official. It's Halloween time. We have the Halloween dishes, decorations, movies and music out. We went fabric shopping with my mom for Halloween costumes. Jillian is singing Halloween songs and insisting we listen to the CD's over and over again. She talks about Halloween just about every day. Darby decorated the entrance. I bought Halloween lights and have no idea where they are going to go.

I don't really know what we're going to do on Halloween. We have options, but I think the kids' idea of staying home and trick-or-treating our neighborhood is the best idea. It might be nice. I think there are more kids in our area now. At least it seems that way. Maybe our kids are actually making friends now or something. Either way, maybe we'll get more trick-or-treaters than we have in the past couple of years.

We still need to buy our new decorations, but that will have to wait until Darby gets back on Sunday. Maybe we can go Monday evening after I get off work. Or whenever, but soon, you know, before Halloween.

Riley went on his first little group outing last week. They went to Haunted World. A girl's dad picked him up and dropped him and a couple of girls off at Haunted World, where they met up with a couple of his other friends. It's so bizarre. I can't believe it's come to this. I am not looking forward to high school. He had so much fun and I'm glad he went but when he got home at 11:30 I kept telling him "I'm so glad your home". I think he thought I was psycho. He just said "thanks", like I was some kind of nut job. But it was late and I knew it would be late but I kept thinking "what if he gets left there" or something. It would be awful. I was told by a mom of a teenager those feelings never go away. Great!

Jillian called me a major retard the other day. I guess they're all growing up.

Blood, Sweat and Tears

2009-10-05T07:19:00.000-07:00

The therapy thing is going well. I only go every two weeks now so I think that's a sign that I'm not as crazy as I was a month ago. At least I hope it is. This year I am just trying to work on being...I'm not sure what the word is...would it be content? I don't think so. Maybe it's just not sad or depressed or whatever.

Most of my focus has been on my weight. Because gaining ten pounds in four months is not healthy for your body or your mind. As of my official weigh-in day last week I have 1.5 lbs to go to be back to the weight I was before the weight gain and 3.5 lbs to go to reach my new goal. This makes happy. Very happy. I don't hate looking in the mirror or putting on clothes that are getting too tight. I put on clothes now and many are too big. And the ones that didn't fit me in January finally fit again. That makes me relieved. And I feel motivated and I want to go work out and I want to eat healthy. That was not the case the end of last year, beginning of this year. I just didn't care then.

And more recently I haven't been freaking out about things. And I don't cry when I have to go to work. Sure I didn't cry every day, but in past year, work has made me cry. A lot. And I've felt trapped and I haven't wanted to fix it. I've just wanted to hide away at home and do nothing. Which, I'm pretty sure isn't healthy either. So, I started the therapy thing. And last week I felt really good. I don't dread coming into work and the mean people haven't bothered me like they used to. I mean they're still mean, but my reaction towards them hasn't been the same.

I told the therapist that this last week things were really good, but it scared me a little because I think "what's going to happen to mess it up". She told me that it's okay to think things are really good, but instead of worrying about how it might go wrong think "now I have the tools to handle the situations that go wrong". Which is true. Because I have a way to think about all of these things in my life that cause me stress and heartache. Basically, it's changing how you think about things. So, I'm suppose to repeat them in my head until I believe them. The things I'm repeating in my mind are the truth. The things that cause me grief are things I just think are true. Does that make sense? I talk myself into being upset about things that shouldn't upset me. Now I just have to do the opposite.

That's the sweat and the tears part. And since I have these two portions of my life straightening out I think that I want another type a change. One that is completely superficial and unnecessary but I have desperately wanted for quite awhile. So, on Nov 3rd I'm going to go through a little outpatient procedure that will probably be very painful, but I heard it is soooo worth it. And there will probably be blood, hopefully nothing I see! Brian has finally agreed that this is something WE can pay for. I talk about this all the time on my blog, yet now I just don't want to go and blurt it out. Only a few, well two, Brian and my friend Bert know that I'm doing it so I haven't told everyone, though I'm pretty sure it will be noticeable after it's done. Oh and my hair girl knows because she just had the procedure done and I'm using the same doctor. So there you have it. Sort of.

Anyway, have a good Monday!

Crisp Cold Weather

2009-10-01T08:16:00.001-07:00

It's 38 degrees right now. This week the temps have dropped significantly from the week before. And with the temp drop, my mood has been on the rise. I can't explain why really, but I get this comforting feeling when I think of the cold weather and coming home at night and making soups and "warm" food. Last night we made fudge. Two batches for Darby's bake sale Friday. I love that stuff.

Plus, it's almost holiday time. I told Brian we should have a Halloween party. He said he doesn't know what that means. I don't really know either but it's on Saturday and the kids want to stay home this year and do fun decorations, so we should have a party. This weekend we're going to get the decorations out and take inventory of what we have and what we want. The kids and I (aka Darby and I) have been saving some cash for the Halloween fund. We have $51. I think that will buy the fog machine everyone has been wanting, but maybe we can find a good deal.

Riley asked me how Darby was getting all of this money for Halloween. I told him she was doing chores for their grandma. He told me I should just ask his grandma to help out with the Halloween decorations instead of sneakily taking it by having Darby do "chores". That kid is just clueless. I'm not being sneaky. Darby wants to donate her chore money. Sure her grandma over pays her for these chores, but that's really between Darby and her Grandma. Who am I to step in?

I think I just have a bad reputation with the kids when it comes to money. You know, because I spend their cash when I run out, but everything usually works out. I mean it's not like I don't spend money on them. Regardless, no one lets me "hold" their cash for them anymore. Except Jillian. She gives me money and when she asks for it and I don't have it I tell her that "daddy used it to buy a soda". Which is true because she gives me change that she finds, usually by digging through her siblings' cash. She's such a good girl. Anyway, to Jillian her dad is the culprit and she scolds him for taking my (her) money and not paying us back.

This weekend is also Chloe's birthday. She'll be five. We're going to have a guinea pig party for her. She'll love it. Not really. I think she gets a little scared when we have parties for her. Like she's in trouble or something. I don't know. She's such a good dog. That's how every one describes her. Because she is. She's the best dog ever. She doesn't do anything bad, except sometimes I get annoyed when she takes too long outside. Especially now that it's getting cold. That is one thing about the cold weather that is not comforting. Standing by the garage door waiting for the dog to finish her business.

I Think I Feel A "Case of the Mondays" Coming On

2009-09-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

I was so bad last week. So, so bad. I ate out too much, drank too much, had too much junk food and didn't work out enough. This week will be perfect. I promise. Perfect I tell you! Today I am doing yoga AND my difficult work out that I hate and always decide not to do. I'm doing it. And I'm going to sweat. And I'm going to like it. Last week I was down another pound, but I'm pretty sure I'm getting that pound back. Maybe more. Ugh!

Someone stole my print job off the printer. I hate sharing a printer at work. I printed something that has rail car numbers on it and the day of the month the rail cars are expected to reach the mill AND an invoice number. I know. This is exciting stuff. People want this paper so badly they just grab it up with their own papers. I don't think I'll ever get it back.

Jillian has decided she likes soccer now. I'm so relieved. I was worried she hated it and wouldn't play but she does pretty good now. She runs and kicks the ball down the little field. It's so cute. She hasn't made a goal yet, but I'm not expecting miracles. I'm just glad I didn't waste a bunch of money signing her up and buying all of her gear. That would suck!

I think this is the last year Darby will be playing soccer. Which makes me sad because she's pretty good, but she says she doesn't like it. So, I guess I won't make her play. That would be bad.

I usually make the kids take a break from sports in the winter but I might have them do something. Maybe take a class at the rec center like swimming or karate. You only sign up for the month so it's not a huge obligation. I want to put Jillian in a ballet class because she loves that type of thing. I would really like to get the older kids skiing. At least Jordan and Darby. Riley didn't show much interest in it when I asked him about it. But I think the other two would really like it. Or snowboarding, I don't care. Lessons aren't that expensive it's the other stuff that's expensive. Like the gear and the season passes and all that stuff. Who knows. Maybe we should all try skiing. You know. A family thing.

I have not watched NFL football once this year. In fact, I don't watch regular TV at all. Since we've got the the box for Netflix attached to our TV I have had no desire to even turn it over to the regular stations. I don't really think I'm missing anything. Besides, I would only watch so that I could keep up and know what Riley was watching and have conversations about it, but he doesn't really watch pro-football that much either. So, this year we are strictly a BSU house. At least for now.

And BSU is doing awesome as usual. #5 in the polls this week. Woo hoo!

Okay, I got to go. This time I stole some one's print job. It's much more interesting than the one I had stolen from me.

A Short Dog and A Tall Tale

2009-09-21T07:26:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday poor Riley was bit by a wiener dog. On his wiener. It was very traumatic. I didn't really think it was that bad. I mean, he couldn't walk and he said that it bled a little bit, but it was a wiener dog. Apparently, I was completely wrong. He was really sore Wednesday morning and his grandpa said he was red and swollen. So, I took him to the doctor.

We get there and the doctor asks a million questions, which we answer. Very routine. Then he says he needs to check out the bite to make sure there was no serious damage. I close my eyes and I hear, "Oh my gosh! Wow! He really got you good didn't he?" Ahhh! It's painful to even think about. Luckily there was nothing that needed operating on. We got him some cream and Advil for the pain. No baseball all week but other than that nothing major.

He left last night to go to his dad's and before he goes Jillian tells him, "bye Riley, I hope your penis feels better". It was too funny! She is so weird.

Yesterday we were filling out a questionnaire for Jillian's daycare. It had questions such as who are your brothers and sister and pets and favorite color. All very easy. We get to the question, what is your favorite book and she tells me The Land of Four Creatures. I have never heard of this book. Nor have I seen this book. So I ask, "what is that?".

She tells me it has an alien and monster and...I interrupt her. "Where is the book?" She says it's in a scary forest..."No, where is it, in your room?" She ignores this question and continues to tell me the story of "The Land of Four Creatures".

"Jillian." I interrupt her again. "Who reads this book to you?" At that very moment Riley walks in to the kitchen. She turns around and then answers. "Riley".

"Okay, go upstairs and get the book and show it to me."

"Oh, I lost it."

"Jillian! You need to put a real book down for the answer."

"Oh fine. Goldilocks and The Three Bears."

Okay then. My goodness. That one has an answer for everything! I'm a little afraid. She's already this good at telling stories and she's only 3, imagine after she has a couple of years of practice.

I'm Going to Work and Coming Home and Living My Life

2009-09-15T13:50:00.000-07:00

This is my motto this week. I'm suppose to come to work, do my job and go home. Nothing else. I'm not suppose to worry about what I "think" people at work expect me to do. I just need to work and do my job responsibilities and go home. This is harder said than done, actually. It sounds easy, but then I worry if I think like that I'll get in trouble because I'm not doing something someone expects me to do. Of course, if that was the case, it would fall into one of my responsibilities and I would just do it and then go home and enjoy my life, right? Sorry if this doesn't make sense. Another rambling post. This is what came of the first therapy session. Because work stresses me out and I'm going crazy.

Plus, I had to change my pill prescription, which I was warned would mess up my hormones. But my hormones were a little messed up before the change so I don't think it's entirely the pill's fault. I have been completely stressed all weekend and upset and sad feeling, but today I feel a little better. I'm not sure why. I was told I probably have a mild case of depression, but I don't need medication or anything. I'm just blue. Like I said. I have another session on Friday. I'm glad.

This is what I've been doing as part of my enjoyment of life:

-Took Jillian to get her first ever soccer pictures taken. Very cute.

-Reminded Darby about the importance of doing well on homework. She takes a strange approach to her school work. Her teacher had to constantly remind her last year, as did I, that she needs to do homework. She thinks she can just skip homework, ace the tests and go on with life. But that's not how life is. She has to do the homework too. She didn't miss any assignments, but I don't think she gave her best effort.

-Decided to cancel my hair appointment-AGAIN and let Jordan skip his Friday practice so that we can make the Harvest festival. But I haven't told him yet. I decided last night and cancelled my appointment this afternoon. My hair looks like crap, but I had been planning to go to this since we have everybody with us this week.

-Made dinner.

-Watched That's So Raven with kids.

-Got mad at Jillian for not listening. For like the 100th time. But she apologized and was good. And I gave her a kiss and hug.

-Told Riley, the 12 year old, to let Jillian, the 3 year old, win one game on her Nintendo 64 that Darby got for their room. Seriously!

-Broke the news to the girls that I accidentally ordered The Closer instead of Supernatural on Netflix. It's going to be three more days until we get a new one. Sorry!

Right now this is my life. This is the part that matters. (Brian was at school so I didn't see him all day.) But this is the part, though it's crazy-hectic, that does not stress me out. I feel under the gun sometimes but it never makes me freak. Or want to cry or want to scream. But that's kind of what happens when I have a bad day at work.

The therapist asked if I could be a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, no. So for this week I'm coming into work, and doing my job and going home and being happy and not worrying about the job at home. So far so good.

In Need Of An Adjustment

2009-09-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

I have an appointment tomorrow with a counselor/therapist person. At lunch. I don't know if that was a good idea, scheduling therapy during my lunch hour, but I figured I could eat lunch early, go to the appointment, and still work-out. This is how I think. I have this obsession with working out lately. In fact, I've been stressing a bit because I have NO time to do yoga during the week. None. And I love yoga, but I can either sleep or do yoga. Considering my emotional status lately, I think sleep and little bit of doing nothing at night is a safe bet. Yoga can wait until the weekend, I suppose. Except there are games this weekend starting at 10:30 am on Saturday. I guess I could get up early. Ugh! On a good note, I only need to lose 3 more lbs to be back to my normal weight. Which might account for the obsession. I just need to lose that 3 lbs.

Okay, back to my emotional status. I have been a roller coaster of emotions lately, but mostly I feel kind of dull. Especially during work hours. I feel nothing at work. I'm in a daze. I can't say that I'm depressed because I don't feel like staying in bed all day or not doing anything. Sometimes I just don't care. Which is bad. Because I should care and want develop professionally and all that. But I just don't. I just want to work and go home. But also mixed into that is I work with people who love to find errors. Errors that I've made and point them out to other people. Particularly managers. And they find enjoyment in this. And I don't get it, but it makes me tired and sad.

And when I'm home I'm happy. And having the kids in sports and running around and trying to jam a million things into a few hours does not stress me out. It makes me happy. I love it. But then when I think about work, it makes me sad that I have to go back. I would rather just stay home and run kids around and volunteer for things and clean the toilets. No, that's a joke. I don't clean toilets, but if I didn't have a job I would have to clean the toilets. Which is bad. And part of the reason the kids are able to participate in the sports is because of the two income thing. Which is fine. I just feel like my work life should be more than what it is I guess. Or I could feel thankful that I have such a flexible schedule and that Brian and my best friend work with me and I get to see them all the time.

This is what the therapy thing is for. I need coping skills or something. So that I don't feel like I always need to be on the defensive. Because that is carrying over to home and it's probably not fair to everyone to have me explode and start crying over things that don't make me explode and start crying normally. You know, having people walk on eggshells because I take things too personally. That type of thing.

Okay, I hope I didn't ramble on too much. Just thought I would share.

I Love a Long Weekend

2009-09-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

Those naughty, naughty Ducks. They made big news last Thursday night. At least in the sports world. A Duck hit a Bronco in the face. Yes, the Bronco happened to be taunting the Duck after winning the game, but still, in the face? Come on. You don't think that's going to cause a little problem? Plus, on the way to the locker room, while being held back by a coach, a cop and some security guys he started going after the crowd. The BSU crowd. Idiot. Anyway, that Duck will not be playing the rest of the season (note that Thursday's game was the first game of the season) and from what I hear he's the best player they have. Here's a link if you want to read and see more.

Other than that not much excitement. I took Friday off, which was so nice. I'm still running out of days. Ack! I need more days off, but that's just not going to happen. I'm trying to conserve the best I can but it's not easy. And I am somewhat unexpectedly need to take four days off in November, which really throws me off. But, I'm excited for those days off. Very excited.

So, Friday Jordan and I went to Darby's school and ate mini-corn dogs for lunch. It wasn't as bad as I feared. They were okay. I also had to cheat on my hair girl. I didn't want to but it was unavoidable. I needed my brows waxed. Desperately. And before the Labor Day weekend. I couldn't look at those babies any longer. They were awful. So, I went to some random place downtown and spent, way, way too much on my eyebrows. Way too much. I never want to do that again. I like my hair girl.

I was thinking about my previous post and the discussion of Halloween we had in the car on the way home from Awanas and I realized that those car conversations are the best. I always have the best conversations in the car with the kids on the way to practices or Awanas or when I drag them to the store. It's just a relaxed setting. No stress. Even more so than the dinner table and way more than when I talk to them on the phone. I don't know why. It seems like they'll talk about anything and everything in the car. Like it's a safe zone. You should have heard some of the conversations on the way home from the mountains. Too funny! I won't give details today. It will be another post.

I'm tired this morning. Still recovering from my lazy weekend, I guess.

All Sorts of Plans

2009-09-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the big game between the Broncos and the Ducks. Very excited. Not only do I get to just hang out and relax with the family, but I get to watch what I hope is a very exciting game while drinking a few brews and eating junk food. Plus, Labor Day is coming up and I took Friday off. I rock!

Jordan doesn't have school Friday. He has expressed interest in going to one of his friend's house for the day. I told him he needs to get me some contact information and we can see if we can make that happen. Riley and Darby do not have Friday off so I was thinking I might have lunch with Darby. I looked up the lunch menu and it's corn dogs. Ugh, but it will be worth it. She loves when I go to her school. I wish I had more time to volunteer at the schools, but I have to work so it's usually not very easy. I'm running out of days off. Bummer!

Riley told me that I was never to come to his school to have lunch. Ever. Under no circumstances. Rude! Whatever middle school boy. I suppose I won't embarrass him.

Jordan's school has a Fall Fair coming up. I was thinking about volunteering for one of the booths during the fair for a half hour or so, but I don't know. I kind of just want to take the kids and have fun, which I'll be able to do because we have all of the kids that week.

Last night we were driving home from Awanas and Jillian brought up Halloween which prompted a huge discussion on what we're going to do for Halloween this year. It was so cute. They were talking about what they were going to be and how we should decorate the house. They hope Darby's school has another Halloween carnival and they don't want to go anywhere for Halloween this year. They just want to stay home and make a haunted house. I told them we could do the trunk or treating at Awanas. Nope, they want to dress up scary. I said we could go to Boise and do the Harrison Blvd trick or treating again, which is a big deal in Boise. Nope, that was too crowded. They just want to stay home, trick or treat the neighborhood and pass out candy. And make our house the scariest one in the neighborhood. I guess we'll see what we can do.

I'm so glad they get excited for Halloween like they do because that is my favorite holiday. I love it and now so do they. Even Jillian.

Oh and Jillian has decided that she is not going to be a Duck. She is going to be a Bronco for the game, so I'm going to get out all of the Bronco shirts tonight. Go Broncos!

Have a great weekend!

Let the Games Begin

2009-08-31T07:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, I now have all the practice times for each kid. Looks like it's going to be a pretty full week. Hope work is slow because I'm going to be doing a lot of running around. Monday and Wednesday Riley has baseball from 7-8:30, Darby has soccer Tuesday and Thursday from 5-6:30, Awana at 6:45 for all kids except Riley on Tuesdays, Jordan has practice Wednesday and Friday 6-7, and Jillian is Wednesday only from 5:30-6:30. Oh, and did I mention that Brian has class Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

The gods must have been looking down on me because Wednesday is my big night and Brian doesn't have class. I also had to enlist the help of Darby's grandma because there is no way I would be able to make a 5:00 practice. For having so many schedules it seems things did work out nicely. No one has practice at the exact same time at two places across town from each other and no one has a practice conflict with Awanas. I always worry about those two things.

All games are on Saturday. Jordan, Darby, and Jillian's games will all be at the same location. So, Riley will have to be taken some where else, but that's just one kid, no worries there. I was sad to hear that my Monday night now has a practice, but I'll survive. It's all good and I agree with Envoy-ette. I love it. I like the running around and watching games. It's one of the funnest things for a mom.

It's Just A "Title"

2009-08-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. Time to sign up every one for Awanas and soccer and baseball. Time to fill out form after form after form of information. I don't know how many times this month I've had to write down a child's name, address, phone number, insurance number, doctor's name and phone, and on and on and on...

It's also more complicated when you're a mixed family because there are these spots where you put the parent's name and signature and I sign for everything but in Jordan's case I put Brian as the parent and then just hope no one ever asks questions because I hate explaining the whole family dynamic. You know, "Jordan's dad and I are together, not married, we've lived together an X number of years and I'm the mom to Jordan's sister" type thing. I should just answer it's complicated, but no one ever asks. I must be sensitive to the thought of the question. It's not a big deal. I mean I sign for EVERY thing. Reading logs, permission slips, homework folders. Anything the kids need signed, I sign it. That's just what I do. And no one has asked me any questions. Ever. Not once.

And this whole "step" brother/sister/mother/father or "half" brother/sister must be an
adult-only concept because the kids don't ever use those titles when speaking about each other. Jordan's sister goes to Owyhee and Riley's brother goes to Idaho Arts Charter School and Jillian doesn't even know the meaning of half let alone a half brother or sister. Believe me, Darby is completely Jillian's sister and if anyone told Jillian otherwise she would probably freak out on them.

So, I guess I shouldn't be so self-conscious about it either. Of course, the easiest part of the form to fill out is when it asks to list siblings. I guess because it's so easy for the kids. They don't go around trying to explain the situation in complicated terms. It is what it is. That should be my philosophy from now on.

Okay, back to filling out forms. Awana registration is tonight.

Lessons Learned from Watching Supernatural

2009-08-21T07:56:00.000-07:00

*Be careful what you wish for. Genies are not like the one in the Disney movie Aladdin. They'll give you exactly what you want, but it's all an illusion, a dream. It's not real. In reality the genie is just slowly sucking the life out of you.

*Not all bad boys are scuzzy looking. Some are clean cut and cute but they still have scumbag qualities. Stay away from bad boys.

*3 year-olds have a type. Jillian loves Sammy, who has shaggy brown hair with an innocent look to him. She also loves Prince Caspian from Narnia-same look. They are her boyfriends. Sometimes they get mad at her. I have yet to figure out why.

*You can keep demons out by putting salt around the perimeter of where ever it is you want to keep them out. I told Brian I was going to put salt packets around my cube to see if it works. If anyone asks about the salt I'll just tell them I saw it on show.

*Dick Cheney has a parking space in hell waiting for him.

*Demons usually get what's coming to them. And it usually isn't good. Or pleasant. It's actually a little gory.

Monday Morning

2009-08-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

I went to a consultation with a personal trainer yesterday. I signed up to "win" something at the fair a couple of weeks ago and that is what I won. However, nothing is really free. It was basically a way to get me into the gym and try and sell me a membership. Which I knew and yet I still signed up and I still went in to meet the personal trainer. Just to see what he had to say. He had me do these exercises where I hold a weight and do 4 sets of 10 squats. I'm dying today. I can barely walk. Brian is going to have to carry me up and down the stairs for the next few days because my legs will probably collapse. It was a tough workout, but I don't think I'm going to be doing it.

He said something about reducing the amount of time you have to work out and getting the most intensity and blah, blah, blah. But I think I do okay. I'm losing weight which is what I wanted. Even when I'm bad and I eat and drink bad things I've still been losing weight. And I would rather it take a little longer than try and kill myself doing something I don't want to do. So, instead of doing 40 of the most painful exercises I've ever done in my life I'll continue to do weights, my run/walks, and some yoga thrown in. I think I mix it up enough that it's still effective. And I can increase my run speed. So, there you have it. I'm a big wimp.

Besides, I think he completely down played the whole yoga thing saying it was good for flexibility and stress relief and whatever but he must not do yoga because I did a routine the other day that kicked my butt and I was completely sore and out of breath by the time I finished. And that was only 20 minutes.

I decided that since my legs are sore and it's Monday and Darby was throwing up all night long that I should probably take a half day. I'm certain this is the best thing I could do. I'm very happy with this decision. Have a great Monday!

BeerFest 2009

2009-08-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Brian and I went to the Beerfest this weekend with his parents and we had so much fun. What could be better than standing around in 80 degree weather, with a breeze, sun out, trying different beers and eating junk food? I don't think much tops that. For $20 we received a beer mug and 17 tokens. Each token buys you a 4 oz sample of beer. I used 15 tokens throughout the day and Brian used 19. So, you can do the math on our consumption. We were there for several hours, but that's still a lot of sampling.

After we left the Beerfest we went to Dairy Queen where I ordered a cheeseburger and fries. This after eating something called a Pork Lollipop and a pretzel and part of a jumbo cookie. Needless to say I didn't really enjoy the ride home and was ready to take a nap on the couch and do nothing the rest of the evening. Unfortunately, we made plans to go to Brian's brother's house for some fights or something on TV. And though I enjoy hanging out with his sis-in-law, I made it to the couch and I was not leaving the couch. I skipped the fights. I couldn't believe that Brian was still able to go. He took the girls and left the boys.

I don't know what those boys did all night. I'm pretty sure they were upstairs playing XBox Live. I don't even think they ate anything. However, I don't feel entirely guilty because they're old enough to get something to eat themselves or at the very least, let me know they're hungry. And they didn't. Of course, I can't say that I would have made them anything to eat but I would certainly point them in the direction of the cereal.

In other news Jordan started school today. This is the first year he hasn't had a backpack with a cartoon character on it. It's just a regular backpack, like big kids have. So it's official. He's a big kid. Riley told me he wanted a game backpack. Like with Halo or something. I'm not sure if that's reverting back or what that's all about but I have not seen any backpacks with the games he likes, so I don't know what I'm going to do there.

Jordan also chose to ride the bus over having his dad take him directly to school even though his backpack probably weighs 500 lbs from all of the school supplies. Weird! I thought that was pretty funny. "No, I'll just ride the bus" he said.

Oh yes, and at the Beerfest someone had a French Bulldog. If you have never seen a French Bulldog they are the cutest, funniest looking dogs you will ever see. And I need one. Desperately. However, at around $800-$1000 a pup, I doubt I'll be getting one anytime soon. Bummer!

And BSU football is coming upon us. Can't wait. The first game is 9-3-09 against the Oregon Ducks. And Jillian is an Oregon Ducks fan. Or as I like to call her, a traitor! Brian ordered her an Oregon Ducks T-shirt last week so she can wear it for the big game. I can't wait. I'm going to take a picture of all of us with our BSU gear on and her with her Ducks T-shirt. It will be so cute.

2009-08-01T06:07:00.000-07:00

Our refrigerator has always been a point of contention at our house. Brian complains that it's too cluttered. He doesn't want anything on it, covering it up. He wants it clean. In the past few years we have accumulated a Boise Bronco magnet that is meant for cars (but of course he won't put it on the car), new magnets from the Rachel Ray magazine, a pen holder, phone numbers written down on sticky notes and Jillian has discovered that her art work is suppose to be displayed on the fridge for eternity. Or so she thinks. Take it down and she has a complete meltdown and makes you feel guilty. Recently Darby put up circle shaped sticky notes. They're yellow and orange and they look like the sun. Darby was very proud that she contributed the notes to our fridge. Until Jillian found them. And now our fridge has round, yellow and orange sticky notes covering it. I think Brian has given up.

Bad Food on the Brain

2009-07-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

I have food on the brain recently. Bad food. I think it's because I'm "dieting" or maybe because Brian finished his kegerator and bought this super yummy beer from The Ram . It's their Big Horn Blonde and it's so easy to drink. Too easy in fact. And drinking beer makes me hungry and it also makes me gain weight because there are a million useless calories in beer. It's so unfair. We can just have a glass of beer whenever we want. And we do.

Friday afternoon I took Brian to La Vie En Rose Bakery and Bistro for lunch. I was craving their Orange Caramel French Toast with cheesy potatoes. They are to die for. I literally did not care that I felt like a cow after I ate them because they are that good. My friend asked me what I had for lunch and as I was describing the potatoes she turns to me and says, "if you knew what I had for lunch you would not be telling me this". She had Weight Watchers Mac and Cheese. I apologized.

I was going to have Brian take me there for my birthday but they only serve breakfast Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So, I had to go Friday or I would never get my delicious potatoes. My birthday is on Tuesday this year.

Tomorrow I'm going to dinner for a work thing. We're going to Barbacoa where they have the best "ice-tini's" ever. They are so cool and refreshing and easy to drink. They also have the best guacamole if you like guacamole. I can't wait. I'm sure I'll pig out just as much as I did for Friday's lunch.

And all weekend it was the same story. I took the girls to the fair and we pigged out. I sat around Sunday drinking beer from the keg and watching Supernatural and of course, pigging out. I'm afraid to weigh myself next week. That's when it will really hit. I'm going to try and be good the rest of the week. Except Tuesday of course.

I had a horrible dream last night. The kind where you wake up and you are so relieved that it was just a dream but your still a little ticked off about what happened in that dream. Then I told Brian about it and he was acting all ass-y about it so then I was actually mad. In real life. And then my Ipod synced with all of Brian's music on it instead of my music and then I was really angry. He's lucky we drove separate this morning. Sheesh! Anyway, I'm not really mad but I did tell him he would be punished today. He laughed as if he didn't believe me. Hmmm..

Well, I'm starving now that I've been talking about food. I really want a donut but I'm going to go grab my Slim Fast and strawberries. See how good I am?

We're Back

2009-07-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

We've actually been back since Friday, but I have been much too busy to write. I haven't even been playing Farm Town on Facebook which is weird. I love that game. Brian calls me a loser, but whatever.

I have been a Facebook freak lately. Facebook is so much different from my MySpace. On MySpace I have friends on there that I actually talk to regularly and know what's going on in their lives, mostly. On Facebook my friends are all people I went to high school with. And every time I add a friend from high school it gives another friend from high school that I might know and should add and so it never gives me people I might actually know out of high school and I can never really think to search for anyone that I might know who might be on Facebook. It's just bizarre. So, I'm friends with a bunch of people in high school. Some of them didn't even talk to me in high school. And some I think I remember them, but I don't really remember them. You know what I mean?

I do have a blogger friend on Facebook-Kate-and my family. Don't get me started on the family. Talk about having to censor yourself. Ugh, I feel like I can't complain about anything. I won't complain about them too much here either, I suppose.

I've also been reading a lot of articles about Facebook. Mostly people write articles about what losers Facebook people are. They have all this time to update their status and whatnot because they don't have a life. I think it's because a lot of people work in cubes and are on the computer constantly. And a little bit is that we don't have lives. Oh well.

Anyway, my stupid diet has been paying off. Who would have thought that eating less calories could equate to losing weight. Seriously, who knew!? It's really quite annoying. I've read a like a million articles on how to lose weight. They all start out something like, "all you need to do to lose ten pounds is..." and they go on to explain that you should eat about 20 calories a day and work out 50 hours a week and add a little strength training another 20 hours a week and you should lose weight no problem. That's what it seems like anyway. I didn't do that but pretty close. I cut back on a bunch of junk food and I work out practically every day and I started running and doing yoga. So, it's helped. I've lost between 5 and 6 lbs and I can definitely tell. Only a few pounds left to be back to my pre-Christmas weight. Woo hoo!

Okay enough obsessing. For now.

Getting Ready to Get Out of Here!

2009-07-08T07:44:00.000-07:00

I start a post, I delete a post. I just don't know what I want to say exactly. I have all of these things floating in my head but nothing seems to stick.

This week Jillian is an only child. She isn't as bad as I thought she might be. She tends to get a little testy when there's no one for her to play with.

Riley and Darby are spending two weeks at their dad's. I had to negotiate some time because I want to take a week off with them next week which was not originally my week. Now it is. So, he has two weeks and I have two weeks. I had to pick the lesser of two evils. Either negotiate with him or try and negotiate a different week with work. Past experience tells me negotiating anything with anyone at work is not an option. So, I get Riley and Darby back in a couple of days. The extra week away hasn't been so bad. And Darby is really good about keeping me updated.

Jordan is currently on a road trip with his grandparents and cousins. We don't know if he's having fun. He left a message on Monday, they were almost to Denver, but there was no way to know if he was enjoying himself from the message. When it's all said and done, I'm certain he will be glad he went. Probably exhausted, but happy.

Fourth of July weekend at the cabin was so much fun. We didn't have very much time up there, but I'm sure we'll make up for it this coming week. We went to the Cascade parade. They kept saying it is "the best little town parade in the county" and I think they might be right. It's so much fun for the kids. So many people show up and yet you can see the whole entire thing no problem.

Jillian has so much fun up in the mountains. She gets all scratched and bruised and has mosquito bites and just loves to talk about her mountain wounds when she gets home. She has a scratch on her arm from when she almost fell off of a "cliff". It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. She fell over an edge that was not exactly straight down, angled more at slant than what she would have believed. If you saw her face when she fell you might have thought the drop down was 500 feet rather than the maybe 6 feet that it actually was. (Plus, it wasn't a drop. She would have just slid down a little.) She was holding on for dear life trying not to fall. Screaming the entire time. Why I didn't have a camera I don't know, but I would love to capture that on film.

I don't know exactly what we're going to be doing up there next week. We usually go to some of the other towns up there and have lunch and go to the lake. I think we should probably go to the lake a couple of times this year. I think the weather is going to be perfect for going to the lake. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking. Either way I'm not going to be at work. Woo hoo!

I told Brian yesterday that there was a man on the Today show talking about how to get out of a rut and how it's really not that great of advice. I think it's one of those things that is easier said than done. The man said to figure out what you love to do and then find a way to get paid for it. I'm thinking "really, what do I love to do that someone would pay me to do"? I can't even think of what it is I love to do. Brian was helpful. He said I love to eat chocolate milkshakes and watch Dead Like Me. He's right. Now, how can I get paid for that? If you have any suggestions I would love, love, love to hear them.

Every one have a great week. And a great next week. I'm pretty certain I will.

Just a Bunch of Stuff

2009-06-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

So that Madoff guy was sentenced yesterday. What a total scumbag. Does it really get any worse than this guy? I don't know. Maybe it's because it was on such a huge scale. But when I think about it, so many people had this mind set of what they deserved to have and they should get it regardless of their circumstances. Even in my neighborhood. We saw at least three people move out in the middle of the night. Who are these people that leave in the middle of the night? Normal people do not move in the dark. They just abandoned these houses that they probably shouldn't have bought in the first place.

I started thinking about this because we met our new neighbor the other day and he told us how when he moved in he had to replace the most obscure items, like the toilet paper rolls. Who takes toilet paper rolls when they leave??? I hate this sense of entitlement.

Before all of this economic crap happened I admit that I thought I had to have things. Unfortunately for me (or maybe fortunately) Brian put me on this pretty tight budget. Like pretty much every penny was accounted for in some way. So, if I want a new pair of shoes I would have to save for them. Which I thought was outrageous because here are these people around me who can buy shoes whenever they want. Lots and lots of shoes. And they can shop every day and they are online buying clothes and I just thought it sucked. I work, I make an okay living why am I saving for a fricking pair of shoes?!

As it turns out it wasn't real. All that money they were spending on shoes and clothes and stuff wasn't real. It was credit. And I had cash. And now I'm going to admit something I probably shouldn't because I don't want Brian to have an "I told you so" attitude but I'm glad I was on a cash only budget. Because right now, if something awful happened like one of us losing our job we won't be homeless. We won't be losing stuff that really wasn't ours to begin with. We just lose a paycheck. Which would be awful and it would be difficult to get by for awhile but it wouldn't be the end of the world.

That's what I've been thinking about lately. And also, the fact that my kids were so busy this weekend and I hardly saw them at all which really sucks because Riley and Darby are going to be at their dad's for two weeks in a row so that I can have them two weeks in a row so that I can have a vacation this summer. With the whole entire family instead of just bits and pieces of us. So, I had to sacrifice them and it's going to be a little more difficult next week. I told Brian that Darby still emails me everyday but Riley never emails me anymore. Maybe he'll just get bored and call me. Sometimes he'll call because he needs me to do something for him. Which is fine. At least he called.

Oh well. This weekend is going to be fun. We're going up to the mountains and we go to this 4th of July parade every year up there. It's so much fun. I don't know why exactly because it's basically just the fire trucks and some old cars going down the main street of this little town but it's a blast. I can't explain it exactly.

Jordan is so busy this summer. After we come back from 4th of July at the cabin he's going with his grandparents to Missouri. It will literally be the same day we get back. Then, when he gets home from Missouri we are packing up our stuff and heading back up to the mountains for our week of vacation. He's going to be exhausted, but Brian says that's what summer is all about. So, it's officially summer now. And it is hot!

Oh and I ordered three disks of Supernatural from Netflix to take to with us. I don't know if I mentioned this, but Jillian loves this show Supernatural. More specifically, she "loves Sam". Yes, she is in love with one of the boys on the show. She talks about Sam all the time and is worried about Sam when he is attacked by demons. It's so cute.

Okay, I rambled on enough I suppose. Have a great 4th of July! Oh and Thursday I'm having a martini. Can't wait.

Busy Mom's Trying to Schedule a Night Out

2009-06-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

Mom 1: A couple of us are going out this Friday after work. Want to meet us?

Mom 2: I can't we have a family reunion this weekend in Utah. Let's do another time.

Mom 1: Well, the next Friday is the beginning of 4th of July weekend so that won't really work.

Mom 2: The next weekend we have another family reunion.

Mom 1: Seriously? Okay well the next week Brian and I are taking our vacation at the cabin for the whole week.

Stop! Rewind!

Mom 2: We are going to have to do this during the week.

Mom 1: Okay, what day are you leaving for the 1st reunion?

Mom 2: On Thursday.

Mom 1: I can't really do anything on Monday and Wednesday's because Brian has class. What about the next Thursday. The one before 4th of July?

Mom 2: Yes! It's a date.

I'm exhausted after going through all that. Why is it so hard? And I just recently had to cancel this Friday's date and re-schedule as a lunch because of my friend re-arranging her schedule due to rain! Ugh!

Summer Time. Not Officially.

2009-06-16T06:43:00.001-07:00

The kids are out of school and life is so much easier right now. I get to drop off Darby and Jordan at a grandma's house each morning where they are fed and then dropped off at daycare. It's so nice. I just have to get them out of bed and have them dressed. And Riley stays home now so I just leave him in bed. I do need to figure out some things he can do during the day besides playing video games.

Speaking of video games they were banned from the video games from about 5:00 pm on Saturday to noon on Sunday. It was pretty funny. They are such big complainers.

I'm debating whether to put the kids in baseball camp. I would have to arrange all this transportation to and from and sometimes that gets hectic. But they love baseball camp. They've been to the same camp a couple of times now. One of the local high school's has a camp in the Spring and another in the Summer. They get lunch and a t-shirt and they're invited to a game. It's so much fun. I should just do it I suppose.

Speaking of high school we finally watched High School Musical 3. I think Jillian still likes the 2nd one the best. Of course, that's the CD we have playing in the car right now. All the time. She insists on listening to "the baseball song" over and over again. In fact, she went through a little phase where she was trying to sing all of the words right and if she missed one she would make me start the song over. Fortunately, she knows all of the words now. Except for one, she thinks the word pitch is actually something else. Something bad. I explain to her that it's not but she insists it is. Seriously, it's a PG movie. They don't say that word. She just doesn't get it.

I've been watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix recently. That show is so good. I love it. I've been a bit addicted to Netflix lately. We watch everything. Even Brian had a movie marathon the other night. I think he was tired because he never does that. And Darby watched a whole season of Heroes in one weekend. That was pretty funny. She said she just couldn't stop. I know what she means.

Well, I don't have much to write. Nothing new is going on. That I can think of at the moment anyway. I wish it would stop raining so we could play outside more often. I'm sure my wish will come true soon. It's bound to get so hot that I will hate it, but that's okay. That's what summer is all about, right? Have a great week.

2009-06-08T06:49:00.000-07:00

It happened. The Redsox won the championship game. They are awesome! Riley was so happy. It was so much fun even though it was pouring rain and I think I heard thunder in the distance. (They're suppose to cancel the game if there's thunder.) But I am so glad they didn't.

I had a pretty relaxed weekend. Baseball is officially over and Jillian and I just chilled. We went to a movie, we went to lunch, we went grocery shopping, we watched movies, we fed the ducks...Perfect.

I don't have a lot to write. You know, since I didn't do very much this weekend. We went to Brian's parents house for his nephew's graduation party. That was pretty fun, though there are some weird dynamics with some family members. Like really weird.

I never want the picture. I always want the real thing. I never, ever want to pretend.

It's A Miracle

2009-06-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

They won. The Redsox actually won the last play-off game and are playing the championship game on Friday. What happened? I don't know becuase I didn't go to that game. (See post below.) I don't regret my decision not to go, but I bet it was a really good game. I'm hoping for the best on Friday! I hope it's a good game!

Post 556

2009-06-03T06:45:00.000-07:00

This is my 556th post. That's just weird. I just write down all of this nonsense that really isn't very important. I did that 555 times before now. And this post is going to offer the same content. I don't have much to say but I just feel like writing all this nothingness down.

Riley's playoff game was Monday night. I completely expected them to lose. I know, bad mom. But seriously their team does not do well together. The players are good, the team... I don't know why they can't pull it together. Anyway, I was late, which was fine because Riley didn't play until the 4th inning. They ended up winning the game and moving on to the next playoff game tonight. I love watching baseball games. I'm sad that I'm not going to tonight's game (which, let's be honest, it will probably be their last game) but, it's in this city Emmett and it takes forever to get there and since we're being honest I don't want to drive all the way out there to watch one of the "painful to watch" games. I don't know if anyone has ever seen one of those games, but it's when your team is getting so beat up that it hurts to watch and you beg for it to be over. It's literally torture. Riley's team had a couple of those games this year and let me tell you, I have thanked God more than once that there is the 10 point mercy rule.

If they do happen to win tonight's game, then I will so be at the next game. Regardless of where it's at. I told Riley to call me right after they get home and let me know what happens. He won't he'll forget. I'll just call him on Thursday, though he may surprise me. Sometimes he just calls me. Or emails me. I don't even know why. Kids are silly that way.

I would actually say that Darby calls me way more than Riley when they're at their dad's. Sometimes she calls me several times a night. I think it's funny because she's going to see me in a couple of days. She just has a lot to say I suppose.

Oh, and by the way, I don't know if I mentioned this but dieting is not really all that easy. I thought it would be but I was wrong. I just need to get those stupid pounds off and then I can maintain. Maintaining will not be hard. I'll be able to eat more food. Ugh. I hate this. I might have to resort to a Slim Fast diet or something. At least a couple of days a week to get me jump started. Right now I go up and down, up and down.

Darby says that I shouldn't complain. She says I look just fine and I should be happy because I'm almost 33 and every one thinks I look way younger than that. And after she said that my eyes started to swell with tears because I thought I was only going to be 32! I am going to be 33 years old. In two years I will be 35. Thirty-five! How did this happen??! Thirty-three and I still don't have my boob job. Pretty soon, it won't even be worth it to get new ones. I'll be too old! I'll be this old person with perky boobs. What's the point?

And I know some of you who read this are older than 33, so I think you might appreciate what I'm going through. I'm sure you had an age just sneak up on you. I was seriously fine with 30. Even after my skin started doing obnoxious things and my body started sagging and it took more than a 1/2 hour walk a week to stay in shape. I was fine with 30 and every year up until now. I just don't like that number. 33.

My hair girl says that beauty is wasted on the young. She is so right. They don't appreciate it. They don't appreciate the fact that they can lose 10 lbs by skipping a meal. Quite a few years ago Brian told me that I didn't have any "unnecessary curves". It was like the best compliment ever. And even then I just thought I would always be that way. Right now, I have a lot of unnecessary curves. *sigh*

Okay, I apologize. I just totally freaked out. But there it is. Out there. I feel a little bit better.

Are you allowed to void out birthday's?

2009-05-29T07:17:00.000-07:00

I stopped eating junk food. At least, I quit eating junk food at the constant pace that I once did. I started this about 3-3.5 weeks ago. No more McDonald's, no more frappucinos, no more chocolate, no more nacho cheese dip, no more hot dogs, no more brownies. At least not in excess. One time I had like three Krispy Kreme donuts in one day. I was out of control. So, I quit the excessiveness and now I've lost like 3 lbs so I'm well on my way to getting my weight back down to normal. I just need to keep it up. *sigh*

The first few days of not eating junk was hard. I was very grouchy. My friend says it's just because I'm hungry but it will get better. It has.

I'm tired this morning. Last night Riley had a game at 6 and I didn't get home until almost 9. Then I had a beer (because I skipped my dinner calories to have a beer or two or three or whatever) and then I had to make fudge for Darby's end of the month birthday celebration at school.

Now I have fudge at home that I will probably eat.

We found out on Tuesday that Jordan knows how to play the piano. No one had a clue. Not a single one of us knew he could play the piano until we went to his school concert and he and a few other kids played. It was funny. Not funny like, "ha, ha you're a dork because you play the piano", but more like, "what the heck? When did you learn how to play the piano?".

My hair is crazy today. I don't know why.

I'm grouchy. Work can make me very grouchy. I need more time off. Ugh! Oh well, it's Friday. I don't have much going on this weekend and I might just watch a bunch of movies. Brian bought us the Netflix box where you can get movies on demand. It's really cool. We have like a 100 movies or TV shows we can watch.

Too Much News

2009-05-21T06:53:00.000-07:00

Things at work have been pretty slow lately so I've been reading a lot of news. Way too much. I think too much news can make a person crazy. I don't think I should know so much about the world. Actually, I haven't really been reading the world news, mostly just national, but I don't know if I need to know so much about other people. (Except bloggers of course.)

Like the other day I was reading about the boy who was ordered by the judge to have chemo. I was reading one article and when I finished reading that one I noticed they had updated the article with more information. By the time I finished that article the mom had an arrest warrant issued against her. It was just crazy! I was following this story minute by minute. I don't need to do that! What's wrong with me? And now I have an opinion on this story and I talk about it and I tell people details. It's just too much.

I won't go into my opinion on this matter here, because I think that can get obnoxious, but let's just say I don't think too highly of people who have raised a child for 13 years and he doesn't even know how to read. Learning disability or not a 13 year old should be able to read something.

The stories that are really bothering me are ones when children are involved. Obviously I have been following the chemo story, but there's also the little girl in CA that was killed by a Sunday school teacher, and two men sentenced to death, one for throwing 4 kids off a bridge and another for shooting up a family of four over a drug debt. I don't know why I read these articles. I have the hardest time getting them out of my head and yet, I still read them.

I don't really have anywhere to go with this, but I thought I would just get it off my mind. Though, when the prosecutor on the drug guy recommended the death penalty to the jury, the defendant through a half empty water bottle at him. I thought that was pretty funny.

I do try and put some fluff in there. I read about celebrities and most of the time I can't believe the things they say. My gosh, they have pretty tough lives, let me tell you. And I read about the baseball player who was called out because he missed the base. That was good. I thought only happened in little league.

Well, that's pretty much what I have. I can't wait for my three day weekend! Woo hoo! Have a great Memorial Day. I'll be hanging out in the mountains doing nothing!!!

Darby's Birthday Weekend

2009-05-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

I have high hopes for this weekend. I'm positive it will be fun and everything will work out. Since Darby was so depressed on Monday and I felt so guilty I set up a dinner with her friend and her friend's mom at TGI Friday's. I'm going to have her open her new outfit and her Taylor Swift tickets at the restaurant.

Just to slip this in as a side note Darby's new outfit is from Abercrombie. Brian and I went to the mall last weekend and I said let's go in here real quick and see if they have something on sale to give Darby for her birthday. Brian stops abruptly at the entrance to the store and looks up at the sign. "I don't shop here. I'm not going in this store, I don't shop here." It was so weird and funny. What a way to react to a store! I just told him, "I know you don't, but Darby does." Sheesh!

Anyway, I was telling Darby's friend's mom Brooke how sad I felt that Darby didn't think anything was going on for her birthday and how sad Darby seemed so she's having a big party on Saturday. Not for Darby really, it's actually her 30th birthday too, but she said she was going to tell Darby it's for both of them. Darby has been in a much better mood this week.

We are also going to a movie with my mom on Saturday. I don't quite know the logistics yet because my original plan was to have Darby, my mom, sister and me go but when the other kids found out about the movie they all want to go and really, there isn't any good reason they can't. So, I'll get it figured out.

Baseball season is almost over, in fact Jordan's last game was Monday and his pizza party was on Tuesday. Riley's last game is Saturday the 30th at 10 am, which really sucks because I scheduled my hair appointment for that exact date and time. May 30th at 10 am. I guess I'll have to cancel. I can be a bad mom by mistake but missing the last game of the season on purpose is more guilt than I can bear. :) Have a great weekend!

Mother's Day

2009-05-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

Was great! Brian took me shopping at Express on Saturday and we went to eat at Old Chicago. It was so yummy. We ordered an appetizer sampler and then had a couple of beers. Very, very good. Sunday we had lunch at his brother's. That was nice. Lots of wine. It was pretty uneventful as far as family gatherings go, so I think that's good.

And now I feel like such a bad mom. I skipped Darby's game on Friday. I just skipped it for no reason other than I was tired. So I felt guilty and I emailed her that I was sorry I missed her game, but I would for sure go to her next one. And I totally have to break that promise because her next game is out of town. And there is no possible way I would be able to make it home in time to take her so her grandma is taking her. And Riley's game is at one field and Jordan's game is at another so I have to go to Riley's since Brian can't be in two places at once. And she seemed a little disappointed when I told her.

And she thinks I'm totally slacking on her birthday. She's getting concert tickets for Taylor Swift so we're not having a big party for her because the concert tickets take up most of her birthday budget. She keeps trying to plan her party and I keep coming up with excuses as to why we can't do it this weekend. It sucks! She seems all sad! She probably thinks I'm awful. Friday seems a long way off to wait to give her tickets so that she can be happy again. Sheesh!

Having Saturday Morning Coffee

2009-05-02T06:02:00.000-07:00

I only have one thing to do today. Take the kids to their Awanas carnival. It's the last event of the season. I have no idea what I'm going to do on Tuesdays now. Well, next Tuesday is Cinco De Mayo so I'm sure I'll think of something, but the Tuesdays to come are going to be open. It will be weird.

Riley does have a game today but since the carnival and the game are at the exact same time his grandma is taking him, which is nice because it's raining pretty heavily right now. That was actually part of my evil plan when I asked her yesterday if she could take him. Ha, ha, ha! Just kidding. I just want to go to the carnival. It's fun and Jillian is little and a lot of responsibility so I didn't want to ask someone to spend three hours taking Jillian from one game to another at a church carnival.

I noticed that Riley's hair is a little like Zac Efron's. This is because Darby, Jillian and I were watching High School Musical last night. Jillian is watching High School Musical 2 right now. She loves the singing and dancing. Back to Riley's hair. I noticed his hair style is similar to "Troy's" except not as styled. He won't get it cut, but he needs a trim desperately. I'm thinking if I take a picture of Zac Efron in and have it "styled" maybe he'll agree to it. Though he thinks Zac Efron is a loser so this plan may back fire.

Jillian's picture is in this month's issue of Nick Jr. magazine. It's pretty cute. It's a small picture on one of the flowers on the first page. She is such a cutie pie. I need to go buy a few more copies. Right now she isn't allowed to go through it and she loves that magazine. I'm torturing her. The other kids were jealous. It was pretty funny. But they also thought it was pretty cool.

And the moment you have all been waiting for...

A picture of Lucy. See how cute she is? Jillian and were taking pics of her last weekend when Brian went to Twin Falls for a Boy Scout Jamboree. I have decided that we won't be getting another guinea pig. I'm worried they wouldn't get along and I don't want my Lucy to be bullied or hurt. We did go to look at guinea pigs last weekend and I asked Jillian what she would name her and she said "Hell". Yes, my three year old daughter wants to name her guinea pig Hell after her favorite song Gives You Hell. I suppose we could have a Lucyfer and Hell. Not really!

Okay her is a cute pic of Jilly and Jillian was taking pictures of her favorite blanket and best friend. She also took a picture of my butt but I'll spare you that image.

I Don't Really Have Anything to Say But...What the Heck

2009-04-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

This week was such a slacker week for me. There were only four games this week and three of them were in the same day. I lucked out. I think next week is going to be just as good.

There is only one Awanas day left next week. I'm sure Riley will be so happy. For some reason he thinks he's too cool for Awanas. I don't think he is but whatever. Next year the three younger kids will go and he can just hang out with Brian. I also think I will be signing Darby and Jordan up for camp in July. It's five days and Darby went last year. She said she had a lot of fun. I haven't exactly decided yet. I need to get some things worked out before I send in the registration form.

So, I've been working out 6 days a week, 40 minutes or more a day for 3 weeks and I gained 2 lbs. It's the saddest, most pathetic thing ever. I know I don't eat that great but seriously. And a little bit of it is probably some muscle because I don't feel as flabby in arms and legs, but seriously! My friend who has been doing the same work out with me has lost like 17 lbs or 20 or something crazy like that. Sure, she's been eating much healthier than I have, but again, seriously!

There's a lady at my work that sighs all the time! Sometimes I can ignore it and sometimes it just aggravates the hell out of me. Today she is aggravating. And I'm even in a good mood. I have to go ask her a question in a minute and I dread this because either she won't give me much help or it will take her two hours to do something that would take the normal person who helps me two seconds. Or maybe she'll just help me and I'll never hear another word about it. You never know with that one.

I'm trying not to be negative about work. Brian and some guy who wrote an article in O magazine said something about how I'm the one making it unpleasant and I need to find the part of work I like and blah, blah, blah. (Brian was talking about me specifically, the guy who wrote the article was talking about people in general. Not me though that would be kind of cool.) So, I'm trying to work on it. You can see how well this is going. On the bright side, I listen to other people talk about their jobs and I feel a lot better about this place.

I'm going to take a picture of my guinnea pig because she is so, so cute. I love her. I love her so much I'm thinking about getting her a friend. Another girl of course. I went to one store and looked and none of them were cute enough to be friends with Lucy. The other store I went to only had boys. Jillian and I will go this weekend and check out one more place. Not just any guinnea pig is good enough for our little Lucy.

Well, it's almost 1 and I want to go workout at 2. I better go ask my question. Have a great weekend!

Two Days

2009-04-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

I have not posted in forever. This is because I took Thursday and Friday off last week and it was great! I did spend time on the computer, but I didn't have blogging time scheduled in. I know. It's disappointing. I won't bore you with all the details of my very busy couple of days, but I'm glad I didn't have to try and fit work in.

I feel a little refreshed. I've been all annoyed about my current job and I had sent out some resumes to find a new job, but of course I haven't heard back on any of them. I'm going to take a short break from the job hunt. I'm so busy with baseball right now I don't need to add anything more to my plate. Plus, I'm not going to push getting a new job. I need to take it easy. I don't want to end up some place else where I'm not happy. I just need to think about what I want. For now things are okay. It's very slow, which is both good and bad. Good, because I can finish all my work in one day and go home knowing there is nothing that should have or needs to be done. Bad, because I don't really want the bosses thinking that they need to get rid of another person. That kind of thing has been going around lately.

I was finally able to get my hair done. I am so happy. It's the best thing I did all weekend. Grandparents and Brian all had to make sacrifices so that I could have lovely hair again. There were a lot of people and kids to coordinate but I managed! I'm so proud of myself. Okay, I said I wouldn't bore you with the details, but here is what was going on Saturday:

8:00-8:30 am: Riley's baseball pictures-But wait! Pictures re-scheduled for nine!
9:00-11:30 am: My hair appointment
11:15 am: Riley needed to be at his baseball game in Emmett, which is not very close to Nampa, where we live.
11:30 am: Darby's softball pictures AND Jillian had a birthday party to attend.
Noon: Riley's game starts.
1:30 pm: Jordan's baseball pictures.

Okay, it doesn't really look like much, but if you notice I have to be 3 or 4 places at once. And I was not cancelling the hair appointment. Not going to happen. So...Originally I was going to take Riley to his pictures and drop him off at my mom's on my way to my appointment so that she could get him to Emmett by 11:15. However, when they changed the time of the pictures Brian had to take him and my mom had to drive to Nampa and pick him up at the house. After Brian took Riley to his pictures he had to pick up Darby at her friend Tayler's house so she could get ready for her pics. Her grandma was picking her and Jordan up for that part of the schedule. Brian then took Jillian to her birthday party. After my hair appointment I eventually made it to Emmett after being lost for about an hour and made the last half of Riley's game. The rest of the weekend we were free to do whatever we wanted! And the weather was fantastic. Perfect actually.

I'm really glad I took those two days off.

2009-04-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

I'm here and I survived my busy weekend. I had fun, actually. I love watching the kids play baseball and if I have to be a million places at once I'm okay with that. Plus, my mom came over twice this weekend to help me out. I was outside all day on Saturday. It was so cold that morning. I was kicking myself for not bringing blankets to Riley's 10 am game. The sun was out but that dang wind was blowing and I was freezing! His team lost, but it was a really good game. By the last inning they were down 10-1 and I was thinking that I should start getting ready to leave, but they rallied together that last inning and only lost 10-9. It was good and Riley hit a double. (Or something like that? Two people made it home on his hit.)

I don't know if Jordan's team won. Pretty much all the kids on the team would hit the ball and they would switch. It was probably a pretty close game. His team isn't very good at getting people out yet. They'll get better.

Brian bought me an Ipod Touch. It is so cool! I love it. I need to play around with it more. I already put some games on it and of course my songs. I also have a movie on there, but I don't think I'll keep it on there. I added Notting Hill. I love that movie, but I don't really want to watch it on the Ipod. I'll need to get some TV shows or something.

Well, my job search still isn't very good, but I'm hopeful this economy thing will work itself out and things will get better. I'm just going to keep trying and sending those resumes. Nothing wrong with trying right?

I will leave you with a conversation I had with the three year-old this morning. By the way, I love my conversations with the three year-old.

Jillian: Who made the sun?

Me: God.

Jillian: Who made the darkness?

Me: God.

Jillian: Who makes milk?

Me: Cows.

Jillian: No!!!

At this point I thought she was confused. I thought she was thinking that God makes milk too. I told her, yes cows make milk.

Jillian: No they don't, boobies do.

Of course they do.

Sigh...

2009-03-31T07:25:00.000-07:00

Not much is going on around here. The job thing isn't as easy as I thought it might be. Even the internal thing didn't work out. I'm not discouraged. I'll just keep trying to find things that sound like I might be a good fit. Of course, four resumes and zero interviews. Pretty pathetic. But what are you going to do? Just try, try again, I guess. And I'll just make the most of my current job. Things around here are okay for now.

Other than that nothing is going on. Of course I'm busy running kids around to practice and whatever but Brian does a lot to help with that. I don't feel stressed and I think that's good.

I thought I was working my butt off but apparently I am not because I still weigh the same 9 lbs overweight that I did three weeks ago. I'll keep trying in this area too. I'm bound to get results eventually. Right?

Why does everything seem to happen in the same weekend. The past few weekends have been so quiet. Not much going on at all and now this weekend. Bam! I'm completely slammed. On Friday I have three kids going to practice when I thought it would only be one, maybe two. I'm picking up Brian's niece who is going to spend the weekend with us, there are two games Saturday, I was just sent an email about a neighborhood clean up on Saturday which isn't going to happen because of the two games and Brian is working and I have to re-schedule my desperately needed hair appointment. I'm so sad, as are my eyebrows.

Anyway, I'm still sitting here trying to make the best of my job and my co-workers. It's almost noon, but boy I'm having a hard time already.

Warning: This Posts Is a Bit Disturbing...

2009-03-23T10:35:00.000-07:00

But only because our kids are so weird. And video game freaks and while that' s sometimes bad, they're all smart kids who enjoy sports, playing outside, making videos with their cameras, playing board games and reading so it's really not that bad.

Anyway, I was driving Jordan and Riley to baseball practice on Friday and Jordan poses this question to Riley: If you had to die how would you die?

Well, Riley tried to totally skate around the question and gave this completely wussy answer of "old age", which did not satisfy Jordan. "Nooooo, you know what I mean." So Riley ended up responding "I would want to be shot in the head but I wouldn't want to know it was coming." Jordan responded he would want to fall into a pit of spikes, which actually would be around number 566 on my list of ways to die.

This led to other questions. If you had to die by an explosion, what explosion would it be? They both agreed they would die by C4. WTF???!! Does anyone even know what that is? Well, they finally ended after choosing the animals they would die by. Riley a sting ray and Jordan a lion. Riley decided he didn't want to play anymore. I'm glad to know they at least freaked themselves out a little bit.

So there was the gore, now for the nudity. Kind of. I don't think I mentioned this but we did end up adopting a guinea pig. And she is so fricking cute. Her name is Lucy and Jillian loves Lucy. I was holding her on the couch and Jillian was sitting next to me. I had on my pajamas which was a tank top and pajama bottoms and I was snuggling Lucy next to me. Jillian said, "oh look at Lucy. She's so cute. She's saying 'I love boobies'." It was even more cute because not only was the guinea pig saying that she loves boobies but she said it in a high pitched baby voice. I don't know what's wrong with her. She's really into body parts right now. She randomly told me the other day that she didn't have a wiener.

Every Day You Have A Chance To Make A Difference

2009-03-17T06:47:00.000-07:00

I thought I would start out with a cheesy title to this post because this is something I need to remember. Small differences. I've been so blue lately because I feel like my job is holding me back from doing something important and it's not really the job. It's me. So, I'm trying to remember that small things make a difference and I can make one every day. There, it's out of my system. I can move on now.

So, Taylor Swift is coming here in May. Every other song on the radio right now is Taylor Swift no matter which station you're listening to. I don't know if I can last until May at this rate. It's too much.

We bought Darby Taylor Swift tickets for her birthday which is two days before the concert. She doesn't know. She thinks the tickets sold out. We bought during the pre-sale and got pretty good seats. The tickets went on sale Saturday morning and sold out in 75 minutes. That is so weird and she's going to be so surprised. I can't wait!

Well, wish me luck on my job search!

Make A Change

2009-03-08T06:05:00.000-07:00

I took the day off work yesterday. For some reason, while I enjoy the day off and I was completely lazy and did nothing, it makes me anxious about what's going on at work. It totally sucks. I've been seriously looking for a new job. I know I was seriously looking last summer when everything at work was absolutely horrible, but I really wasn't seriously looking. I think when your in that kind of turmoil it isn't the time to find another job. Right now I'm just going to turn my resume in when I see something that looks interesting and go from there. I haven't really done that because I'm a big chicken and I think what if I get a new job and they aren't flexible. How will I get the kids to baseball practices and games? I just need to let go of those fears.

I read an article the other day. Yes! It was in O Magazine, don't judge me! That talked about people who asked for advice on a situation and then would argue with you about it when you gave your suggestions and how to deal with it, even if it's yourself. For instance a woman wanted to go back to school, but of course there are a million reasons why that wouldn't work with her life, but really what it comes down to is being scared. And I know this! I just have to get over the scary part and do it. Who cares if I'm rejected or don't get a job after an interview. It's a tough market right now and there's a lot of competition. I have a job. It pays me well. But it stresses me out. That's the part I don't like, but it's bearable. So, I'll find a job, apply and see what happens. That's not scary. And I don't even have to accept a job offer if I don't think it will fit with my life.

Now if I get an interview. That will be scary...

And Brian just won't let me quit and stay home. Hmph! Actually, I don't think I would particularly like that. The stay at home mom job might make me a little crazy. So, if I'm not happy I need to make changes. That's what it comes down to. Change it.

What I Did This Weekend

2009-03-02T07:14:00.000-08:00

Friday night I had a girl's night with my friend Bert. We skipped out of work a tad bit early and went to the 4:30 showing of He's Just Not That Into You. I liked it. It didn't get good reviews at all, at least not the ones I read and it was absolutely a chick flick, but I thought it was great. We then went over to Cafe Ole and ordered the sampler platter and a couple of margaritas. They brought us the sampler platter and it was huge! It was embarrassingly huge. Even the people next to us were teasing us about our huge plate of food. Needless to say, if it's just us, we won't be ordering the sampler platter at Cafe Ole again.

On Saturday I had a pretty lazy day. We did some shopping in the morning, stopped by Brian's parent's house and had a beer and went home and I took a nap. Then I went grocery shopping- boring! And I bought some fat jeans. Yep, I need fat jeans. I bought one pair because my stretchy jeans that I love and are not fat jeans are pretty stretched. As in they have been washed and worn so many times the fabric is slowly disappearing. Pretty soon all that will be left will be the buttons. I love those jeans, but they just aren't practical for public appearances. So, I need comfy fat jeans for my fatness that has happened to me over the last few months until I can slim down a bit. And slim down I will. I am determined. And I found this little quiz thing at Self magazine website that tells you your "happy" weight and I was just dying on the floor laughing. It's the most ridiculous thing. I'm not even as heavy as my "happy" weight. I would have to gain a more weight to get there! Are you kidding me! I bet I would be happy! Fat and happy. Goodness gracious.

And Sunday, let me tell you about Sunday. I did not do very much at all. We went shopping again in the morning and then we finally took the Jilly Bean to "The Garden" which she has been dying to go to forever. That's the Olive Garden and we don't know why she wanted to go but now she has. We don't know if it was what she expected or not but she seemed to have fun. Then I took another nap and I looked up information on Guinea Pigs because I desperately want a Guinea Pig. Desperately.

I'm pretty proud of my lazy weekend. I hope you had a good one!

I Feel A Little Grouchy

2009-02-24T07:28:00.000-08:00

*There was a consumer report about a certain brand of coffee that they rated high. It costs $3.88 at Walmart. I have been to Fred Meyer, Target, Cost Plus, and Winco and know one, so far, sells this coffee except for Walmart. And apparently I wasn't the only one who read the Consumer Report because it has been selling out ever since. Fortunately, when we did find it in stock Brian stocked up.

*Jillian is so shy. She is shy to the point that it makes me sad when I see little outgoing, smiley, happy babies. However, we went to Riley's baseball evaluation on Saturday and she played with this little boy for an hour, talking and bossing him around and telling him to not point at her because it wasn't polite and asking what his dad's name was and informing him that "my mom is driving me crazy". So, I think there might be hope for her.

*I watched the Academy Awards this year. Well, half of it anyway and I forgot that I liked watching it. I hadn't watched in many years. Maybe I will again next year. I love Kate Winslet.

*We also watched Tropic Thunder this weekend. Well, the kids and I did. Brian fell asleep--AGAIN! It's like movies just put him in a trance and he's out. It was actually pretty funny. Okay, we also watched Bowling for Columbine and he stayed awake for all of that movie. Those documentaries get you all fired up. They make Brian mad for weeks. Not the bad kind of mad, the funny kind of mad. You know what I mean?

*I'm still grouchy and I haven't wanted to chit chat today, but people are chit chatting with me and it put me in a better mood. Sort of. Like the lady that works in the cafeteria went out of her way to greet me even though I was going out of my way not be greeted and it kind of threw me off. There's just no reason for me to be grouchy.

More About Oprah

2009-02-19T07:37:00.000-08:00

I know. I'm sorry. I've turned into an Oprah follower but I can't help it. I just like watching her show (mostly) and reading her magazine. I'm addicted. I loved this article in November's issue "What Do You Know For Sure?". Oprah's first one is, "what you put out comes back all the time, no matter what." I truly believe this and I try to be good. I really do. Sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I'm mean. So I figure if I do something nice it will all even out, but I don't know that it works that way. And then I think about mean people and how this should really be effecting them and that it doesn't seem like it does, but it's really none of my business how the cosmic universe decides to punish or reward others, and how me wishing punishment on others for their bad behavior is probably going to get me punished. So, I try and mind my own business but I'm not very good at that either.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, but I was just thinking about the article. And they had other people answering the question, not just Oprah, but that would definitely be the one thing that I know for sure. Everything else I'm a little fuzzy on. Except I do know that kids are weird. I know this for sure because I live with 4 of them and they are all weird and different. Even when they think they're normal. Kids are not normal. They are weird and very unpredictable. I like that because adults are mostly predictable. Except for Brian. You never know what he might do or say. I like it.

Okay, enough Oprah talk. It's almost the weekend and I've had a pretty okay week. I have worked out every day this week. I'm so proud of myself, yet I'm still about 9 lbs way too have and 12-15 lbs heavier than I want to be. So I will continue to work out like every day. Wish me luck!

2009-02-12T07:37:00.000-08:00

Well, it's almost the end of the week and I am ready for the weekend. I did take yesterday off, but it wasn't enough. I need the whole week off. However, I should probably conserve my time off considering it's only February. It reminds of a little snippet from the TV show The Office where the girl is talking about her time off and how she tries to wait as long as she can to take her vacation and this year she waited until the third week of January. I told my boss that was like me. He thought that was pretty funny.

Work is pretty slow. It's good because now I have time to blog, but a little bit scary. However, I was assured that as long as the company was still around and the mills were still running we all have a job. We did our layoff in November and there hasn't been any rumors more were on the way. But, you never know.

We haven't made any plans for Valentine's Day. We usually take Valentine's Day off, but this year it's on a Saturday so I'm pretty sure that would be a waste of a vacation day. So... we don't have anything planned. I think we should take Jillian to the Olive Garden because for some reason, every time she sees it, she says she needs to go to "The Garden". At first I didn't even know what the heck she was talking about. I don't even know how she would know about The Olive Garden. She's bizarre.

She's so bizzare she tried to give her dad a valentine that she made for Riley. She might have better luck when she's able to read because it said right on the front to Riley from Jelly Belly. I'll have to let her make one this weekend for her dad.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Not What It Seems

2009-02-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

Riley has a friend named Gavin. This is usually not something I would write about, but it reminds me of a girl I grew up with. I have known her since I was 4 years old but only because circumstances made us know each other, not because we were friends. Don't get me wrong. I wanted to be her friend. She was always popular and pretty, but we weren't really friends.

I was friends with the girl who lived across the street from her and the girl who lived next door, so sometimes the above circumstances I was talking about would bring us all together for "play dates". They lived in a cul-de-sac. I did not live in that cul-de-sac. I lived a block or so away, but I could see the girl's house from my house. The girl was Audra. See, she even has that perfect name.

So, every time I hear Riley and Gavin I think of this "perfect" girl. We'll get to why in a moment. Since I was 4 years old I thought this girl had the perfect life.

Let's just run down the differences in our lives. So I thought.

My mom and dad fought constantly when I was in grade school up until they divorced when I was in 9th grade. Every one knew this. The entire neighborhood knew. The Mormon church we went to knew. Everyone knew. Her parents didn't even allow her to come to my birthday parties because of this. I remember one year she stopped by and gave me a gift and left immediately after.

Her parents never fought. There were 8 kids in her family and her mom stayed home in this huge house that was always clean and perfect and raised her 8 kids while her father worked at his law firm downtown. They held high positions in that Mormon church. They were the perfect couple.

She always wore the most stylish clothes. We shopped at Shopko. (Until I was older. I dressed okay, but didn't have nearly the selection.)

Her parents had a Cadillac. My mom drove an old station wagon.

Her siblings were popular. My siblings were my siblings. (Let's just put it that way.)

She drove a nicer car than my mom when we were in high school. I didn't even have my driver's license.

Her boyfriend was a popular football player. My boyfriend dropped out of school.

Her parents stayed married and she continued to live in that perfect house in that perfect neighborhood.

My parents divorced and I had to move with my mom and sisters out of our 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom apartment on a questionable side of town.

She was prom queen. I barely made it to prom because the loser boyfriend got high.

Then it happened. Her perfect streak broke and as time went on I learned more and more about how imperfect perfect families can be.

As it turns out, while being crowned prom queen she was also pregnant, but no one ever knew. Nor did we know after we graduated. We did know that her and her football player boyfriend broke up and he started dating her best friend. She went away for the summer. She was suppose to go away, have the baby and give him up for adoption. The last part didn't happen. She came back from her trip with a baby boy named Gavin Riley.

Later on I also learned that her dad was having an affair with his secretary. For years and years, I'm not sure when it started but we were still in school and it probably continues to this day. His wife knows.

So, having a long term affair is okay as long as every one keeps their mouths shut, but whatever you do don't have arguments in your home.

Anyway, I finally realized that life isn't what you think it is. No one is perfect. I have a harsh view of the Mormon church after growing up with all of these lies. This of course wasn't the only lie. The girl who lived across the street from Audra also had family secrets. As it turns out her father revealed he was gay and her parents finally divorced as well. After all of the kids had grown up and moved out, of course. He lived miserably for over 20 years and made his wife miserable all because being gay doesn't fit into the perfect Mormon life. One time my friend told me she came home after school and her mom was locked in her room. She later learned her mom was contemplating suicide.

How messed up is that?

My mom gets offended when I say anything bad about the Mormon church and I do not understand why. She tried to push that religion on me even after I moved out of her house. She had missionaries calling my phone. It made me so mad. She finally stopped. We don't discuss religion but every once in awhile she makes comments about how I choose to handle my life. Just little ones. Nothing major. And I just think what a bunch of hypocrites. Give me a break. I may not be religious and I may have live with my boyfriend who is not my husband and may have his baby out of wedlock (what a weird phrase) but we don't lie about our lives. I don't pretend. So whose better?

I don't know what made me think of all of this. I guess Riley was talking about Gavin yesterday.

2009-02-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

I am in the best mood this morning. I can't explain it. I feel chipper. This scares me. I don't want someone to put me in a different mood and sometimes this place I work at can put you in a way different mood than the one I'm in. I want to stay in this mood. Just concentrate...on staying in this great frame of mind.

We watched Burn After Reading the other night. Well, I did. Brian fell asleep. I can't believe he fell asleep because I really liked that movie. It was funny and disturbing. My least favorite characters were the ones played by George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I don't know why exactly and it's surprising because, hello, George Clooney and Brad Pitt, but I didn't really care for them.

Well, I'm going to be getting ready for an extremely busy weekend with the kids. I'm looking forward to it. Sort of. We have baseball sign-ups and Riley and Jordan will be practicing for these games that their church group is involved in. One practice in the morning, one in the afternoon. I am letting Darby go to McCall this weekend, so I guess she's taken care of. But then there's Jillian. Always tagging along to different events. Hopefully she'll be in a good mood. You never know with that one.

Have a great week!

It's Like 3 Posts in One

2009-01-26T08:23:00.000-08:00

Brian is 30. We had a big party for him on Saturday and it was fun. Which reminds me. I need to send his sis-in-law a huge thank you for helping me make the food. It all turned out pretty good if I do say so myself. I think everyone had a good time. I have a lot of alcohol in my fridge right now. Oh and he bought himself a little birthday present. This isn't a photo we took. I found it online, but it's pretty much what it looks like.

As for the other birthday boy, Riley, he received something he has been asking for since he was probably 8. And he's never received one. Not at our house anyway. He has one at his dad's and he has one at his grandma's, but he doesn't have one at mom and Brian's. Because he has the other two. And this year he said if he wasn't going to get the thing he asked for year after year after year for his birthday and Christmas he wanted shoes. The cool shoes. Where you have to go to a little specialty store in the mall to get just the right ones. So I bought him shoes and we went to lunch and a movie for his birthday. And when we came home Brian had bought him that one thing he has been asking for over and over again. And he was so happy and excited even though he already had two. And now we have an Xbox.

So the boys have been playing the Xbox all weekend long and I let them. Partly because Saturday I was getting ready for Brian's party and partly because I just thought what the hell. They are so busy most weekends and definitely during the week. Why not let them be video game freaks for a little while. And I am a little happy. Riley use to go to his dad's every day after school instead of coming straight home. I always thought it was because he just wanted to hang out with his dad and that made me a little jealous. Turns out he was only going there because of the video games. He's been home every day since his birthday. I know it's not a very nice thing to be happy about but I can't help myself.

A few things I heard this weekend that made me almost re-think letting them play video games:

Jordan: Just let me die Riley. Go on with out me. You need to pass this level.

Riley: If you were on Xbox Live they would tell you that you're new and you suck.

Darby has shoe issues. Seriously. I have never met a girl so particular about the shoes she wears. Ever. Most girls like all shoes. Not Darby. She has the most impractical shoes any girl could ever have. And she hates to wear socks. So she has shoes with heels or ballet flats or these little canvas shoes, none of which require socks and it's freezing cold and wet most days. She does have some boots she will wear, but they aren't exactly the ones that keep your feet dry. They are more for a cuteness effect than anything. Did I mention she doesn't wear socks? It grosses us all out.

Anyway, I had had enough of her wearing such impractical shoes and I took her shopping yesterday to pick up something "cute but practical". Wow, what an ordeal. We go to Fred Meyer because they have a decent selection. What about Converse? She says the converse are okay but she likes the ones that go up the leg really high, not just the ones that cover the ankles. Oh yes, and she refuses to wear pink. So, those are out.

She absolutely refuses to wear Vans, period. End of discussion. Same with Skechers. Puke. Nike, Addidas, New Balance, Fila all out of the question. She won't even try them on.

I took her to several department stores and Famous Footwear and everything I would consider practical she did not consider cute. It was looking as if "cute and practical" didn't exist in an 8 year old girl's world. Until we went to Payless Shoes. That's right Payless. She finally found a pair of Airwalk's that were acceptable. However, these had to be just right. For example, the tongue of the shoe had to be long so that it came up over her pants and luckily I had the perfect solution for the too long shoe laces. And now she has a pair of "cute and practical" shoes that she can wear every day with out her feet freezing off and she might even wear socks with them.

Who knows...

And we finally bought a 9 volt battery for our fire detector that has been beeping at us since Friday. Off and on. It was never consistent though last night it pretty much went off non-stop. Let me tell you that was not the best sleep I've ever had. I told Brian we have to get a battery or I'm going to go crazy! We have one now and all is well.

Eyeliner Is The Key...

2009-01-13T07:02:00.000-08:00

to making you feel awake maybe?

I don't know. I just know Sunday I was in a slump. Not a depressed slump, but I was just not waking up and feeling horrible. I made the kids breakfast, took a nap and made fudge all before noon on Sunday and I just didn't feel my best. I had decided after I took a shower and blow dried my hair that I wasn't going to put on make-up and my hair was going into a pony tail. Then I started to get cold so I threw on my BSU hoodie.

Brian put up this huge mirror in our dining room and on my way into the kitchen I looked at myself and declared that I looked awful. I went upstairs and put on some foundation and curled my eyelashes. I thought that might help.

I made lunch and insisted Jillian take a nap. I tried to play some games on the computer but I felt so tired so I went and laid down with Jillian and fell asleep again. I woke up and thought about how I would need to start dinner soon because the dinner I was making takes awhile to make and Riley and Darby leave at 6.

I saw myself in the mirror again! That was it. I could not stand it anymore. I went upstairs put on eyeliner, a cute sweater and my Tiffany necklace. And that was all it took. I immediately came out of my groggy state and started making dinner and played on the computer and instructed the kids to go outside and pick up dog poop. I felt so much better and I credit the eyeliner. I think that's what did it.

Hello 2009!

2009-01-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'm hoping this year is a good year. Like every thing aligns perfectly. 2008 was such a crappy year for my professional life. I wouldn't want to relive it again for anything. The family life I enjoyed immensely. I have no complaints there. So, if in 2009 the work life could be just as good as the family I think I would be pretty okay with that.

So far I feel like I'm off to a good. The new boss seems to like me and the people who were allowed to be awful aren't that awful anymore. I'm very hopeful.

Baseball season is about to begin. I'm thinking about moving the kids to a different league. In fact, I'm pretty sure the boys will be moving over, I have to figure out Darby because unfortunately I'm not the only decision maker when it comes to Darby and softball. In fact, if I had my way Darby would be playing soccer year round. But whatever. I think this new league will be a little better than the other one. I feel like the other one wasn't very organized and other stuff.

I've been working out. Finally. Thanksgiving through New Year's I probably worked out like once and I consumed probably 2 million calories resulting in a weight gain of about 6 lbs. Seriously, before Thanksgiving I weighed myself (and I'm not going to reveal my weight) there was a number 1 in the total weight. I weighed myself last week and there was a number 7 replacing that 1. This morning, thankfully, there is now a 5, but my clothes are still tight and I feel puffy so I need to start really working on this poor body I've created.

Brian's 30th birthday is quickly approaching and I plan on having a party and for some reason it makes me nervous. I don't know why but I also have to find time for Riley's birthday too, because their birthdays are only a day apart. It makes me crazy!

I hope everyone has survived coming back to work. I think I'm surviving. I'm just glad it's Friday and I have a couple of days at home hanging out with the kids. I think I'm going to plan at least one lazy day this weekend.

A Very Merry Christmas

2008-12-28T14:42:00.000-08:00

I didn't shower until 2 pm today. It was awesome. I completely cleaned the kids room. Made a keep pile, a throw away pile and a Goodwill pile. You would be surprised by the amount in the throw away pile. Completely worthless stuff sitting in their rooms. I don't know how that could possibly happen. On the upside, I found the portable DVD player that's been missing for about 4 months now. It was in the dress up drawer, along with some Legos and Barbie accessories. It's hard for kids to keep drawers organized. When they clean they apparently just throw things in random drawers.

I'm pretty sure everyone had a fantastic Christmas. Our kids are so busy for about 3 days straight, but their so good about it. Besides, they love all of the traditions we have, even if they do get switched around from year to year. Like going to Great Grandma's for Christmas Eve and staying up so late they pass out when their heads hit the pillows. And getting pajama's to open as their first gift. And they always get an ornament or two. So, even when they're hopping around from place to place they still have a little stability. Hopefully it makes it pretty easy. Plus, now, they've wised up to the fact that the more places they go the more presents they get. I don't like it. But, it's true. Which is another reason I thought we should cut back on their gifts. We did okay.

Cute little blurbs through out the past couple of days:

Aunt Becky: Jillian, what did Santa bring you for Christmas?

Jillian: I got a Beep! (She meant a Barbie Jeep.)

Riley opens up one of the ornaments Brian's mom gave him.

Riley: Oh cool! A football player ornament.

Me: Cool, who is it?

Riley: It's Peyton Manning. He's like my least favorite player in the NFL, but it's cool!

Christmas Spirit

2008-12-16T06:50:00.000-08:00

I had a great weekend. Mostly because it started on Friday. Brian and I shopped and shopped. It was fun. We stopped for lunch and had a sandwich and a pitcher of beer. This year I've felt a little stressed about the Christmas shopping. I'm not exactly sure why, but there was that lay off in my department and spending a lot of money right now just scares the hell out of me. Not that I've stopped as much as maybe Brian would like me to, but I think about it a lot.

This year the kids donated $50 out of their Christmas budget. So, whatever we have budgeted for them for their Christmas gifts they were going to donate $50. They have all made their donations and while we were shopping I was feeling a little panicked because we were buying so many gifts. At least that's what it seemed like. We went back and entered the amounts into the budget and they are all right on. We didn't go over at all. We spent less on their gifts this year than we did last year, which is what I wanted, and yet it still seemed like a lot.

I had to put it into perspective. It seems like a lot because there are four of them, but in reality they are only receiving about three or four gifts from us. And not expensive gifts either. They each made a list and we picked a few items off their list. And actually, their lists weren't even that great. Darby had the longest list and some of it was stuff she doesn't even want (like Lego sets) and the boys only had 4 things on their list. And Jordan got some of those things for his birthday. We told them to make new lists and all of them refused. Darby said that she would not make a new list. She had enough on her list and she doesn't want that much this year anyway. What the heck? Who are these kids?

I think they just realize how lucky they are as they get older. They may not get everything they want like some of the kids they know, but they never have to do with out. At least I hope they realize that.

On Saturday I went to tea with my co-workers. Mostly they were co-workers I like so it was a pretty nice time. We had a gift card exchange and I got a Sephora gift card. Score! I think it was the best one, though I may be the only one who thought that. Most of the other women are older and some didn't even know what Sephora was, so it all works out. I love this tea place. It was so cute. I need to take my girls for tea sometime. I didn't even know it existed until now.

On Sunday the kids had a Christmas pageant. It was pretty cute. Riley had a speaking part, which was unexpected I guess the original Ahab didn't show up. He did pretty good. Jillian stood up on the stage and didn't seem nervous or shy at all. She was one of the sheep. It was so cute. Jordan and Darby didn't have lines. They had standing parts. The kind where they just stand there. They really should have given Jordan a part with lines. I think he should have been King Herod, but whatever. I'm not in charge of casting the Christmas pageant. Thank goodness.

I'm back at work now. I wish I didn't have to work. Blah! But I'm excited for Christmas and I love Christmas parties and planning Christmas parties and going to Christmas parties. It's so fun! Sometimes it's the only time of year I see some of my family. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I can't tell ya! Ha, ha. Just kidding. Kind of.

Okay, if I don't write again for a long time Merry Christmas!

Completely Random

2008-12-10T07:16:00.000-08:00

Randomness #1

The other night I changed in to my pajamas. I was going to hang out downstairs with the kids and my night shirt was white and you could see through it so I kept my bra on thinking it wouldn't be appropriate not to. It happened to be a black bra. So, while I thought it inappropriate to wear a white shirt with no bra around the kids, I didn't give it a second thought about wearing a white shirt with a black bra. Okay, I thought about it but I wasn't going to change my bra to go downstairs and hang out with the kids.

We were watching a movie. Hell Boy to be exact. (I actually liked this movie. Don't ask me why. I'm baffled as well.) During the movie Darby and Jordan begin to talk. (As usual!) And during this conversation during the movie, my bra is all of a sudden a topic of conversation. I don't know how this happened because I was watching the movie not listening to the two 8 year olds, but it went something like this:

Darby: It's kind of like mom wearing a black bra with a white shirt.

Jordan: What?! A black bra with a white shirt. That doesn't even make sense!

What the heck? I don't get why they would even notice, discuss it, and how the heck do they know it's a fashion faux pas?

Randomness #2

We have this neighbor. He has a nice family. He is not nice to his family. Every time we hear him is yelling and acting obnoxious to them. It's awful. One day Riley came in and asked if some boys could come over and play. I said that would be fine. He said good because there dad is so mean! How sad is that? Even Riley noticed how mean he was.

The boys came over and played for a little while and seemed to have a nice time. Their mom came by to take them over after awhile and that was that.

The other day I was walking out to my car and the dad drove by and honked at me. He has tinted windows so I don't know if he was waving or maybe my kids made him mad somehow and he was flipping me off. I just don't know. I just stood there looking stupid. And that probably made him mad.

We make up stories about what's going to him make him mad. It's not funny, but we've never seen or heard him do anything but yell. And we watch him all the time. Their house is right out the kitchen window. Perfect view. We are those nosy neighbors, constantly spying. If something more than yelling was going on, we would do something. For now, we've only witnessed the yelling.

Randomness #3

Things at work have been going pretty good. My old boss is not returning and we're going to have a new boss, but he's been filling in since August so it's not like we have to have someone completely new come in. Which is nice. And people aren't as mean. At least not some people. Yet, I'm still paranoid of sabotage. And I see suspicious things on the printer and wonder what certain people are doing with certain papers that look suspiciously like they might belong to me. Considering they have my name on them and I didn't print them. But I'm just being paranoid. And I take my papers back to my desk. The ones with my name on them. And it's just weird. Besides, there isn't much anyone can do to sabotage me using these papers. I just don't like the idea that someone might try. I'm paranoid.

I Watched TV

2008-12-04T07:01:00.000-08:00

I was watching TV last night. That's right. I was finally able to sit down and watch TV. There was nothing going on. Okay, I should have been putting away the Christmas boxes that are sitting in my front room but I didn't. I watched TV. So there. Anyway, I watched the last 1/2 hour of Life. Have you seen that show? It is so funny. It's one of my favorite shows but I always miss it for some reason or another. The guy on it is so weird.

Then I watched Law & Order and Oprah. I haven't seen Oprah in days. I was having withdrawls, but the Law & Order had me sucked in so I had to flip back and forth. Oprah's show was "Mistaken Identity". It was about the college girl in a car accident who was identified as another girl and everyone thought she was dead, but she wasn't and the other parents were taking care of her thinking she was their daughter, but she wasn't. I first saw this story on Dateline. Brian wouldn't watch it with me.

He doesn't like Dateline. I'm not sure how that's possible. It is so good. Granted they tell about true cases, which a lot of them are unsolved, so it's a bit frustrating but I just find them so interesting. He just doesn't get it! Plus, sometimes when the case is solved they do a follow up and give a recap of the story. I don't know. Maybe I'm just a freak. There are the stories that I won't watch. The ones involving children I can't deal with those. There are some things I could go my whole entire life without knowing and be okay with my ignorance.

PS I started this post yesterday and only just finished it today. I watched Oprah last night. It was about email scams. Let's just say I can't believe how gullible some people can be. Okay, that's all I have. Have a great weekend.

10 Reasons Why It's Been Over A Week Since A Post

2008-11-25T06:49:00.000-08:00

1. I have been so, so busy at work. Extremely busy. Working longer hours busy.

2. Monday the 17th they told us they closed one of our paper mills. (I work for a paper company. Actually both Brian and I work for a paper company.) This was going to effect our department and they would let us know in what way by the end of the week.

3. Thursday they laid off a girl in my department. It was awful because I was not completely expecting it. I sort of thought they would end up keeping everyone.

4. I've been busy with kid stuff. Both Jordan and Darby decided to donate part of their Christmas money to the canned food drives at there school, so I had two shopping trips to make to buy a million canned food items by two deadlines. Jordan also had a Family Reading Night at his school that we went to and there's all that homework stuff and Awanas and two birthdays. Just a lot of stuff.

5. With the lay off I have even more work to do. And tons of mail. I'm getting rid of this mail. Seriously.

6. I've started writing a million posts but could never finish so I just deleted them. That might happen here.

7. By the time I get home I'm sick of being on the computer.

8. Did I mention I had two birthday parties to plan?

9. I've been waiting to hear what's going on with my department besides the lay off. We still don't really have a boss and today we found out my old boss will not be coming back.

10. Things in general are just chaotic.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving.