I've been obsessing about my car lately. Mainly because it's crap and I hate it, but that's nothing new. However, lately it's just become an absolute annoyance. The headlights keep going out. Last month, one of the headlights burnt out. I knew this because on my way home from work I could see it was out in the reflection of the car in front of me. That night I was driving to see Brian's parents. Riley and Darby were in the car, Darby had fallen asleep. I see one of Nampa's finest approaching, he passes, and in my rear view mirror I see him flip a bitch. "Shit!"
Riley asked what was wrong.
"I'm being pulled over."
"Why?" Riley asks somewhat astonished.
"Because my headlight is burnt out."
I pull over and reach for all the pertinent information that the police may need. He comes up, "Hi, do you know why I'm pulling you over?"
"Um, I don't."
"Well, you have a headlight out." He answers.
"I do? Really? Wow, I need to get that changed."
"I just wanted to give you a heads up. We don't issue tickets for these. Just get it fixed. I'm going to check your drivers license. You don't have any warrants do you?"
"I hope not." Smile. He wasn't so bad.
Riley told me I shouldn't have lied to him about not knowing my headlight was out. I said it was okay because I didn't want to get a ticket. Which is completely not okay, but maybe he'll forget I said that. Right! He also noted that this was his first time being pulled over.
When we reached Brian's parents house Riley didn't wait long to tell of his mom being pulled over by the police. Brian's dad asked him, "What did your mom say when she was pulled over?"
"She said, 'oh shit, my headlights are out.'" Nice.
That incident happened a month ago. Last week my headlight burned out yet again. It's so infuriating. I know there's something wrong with the electrical system. My inside light never comes on when I open the doors and the back window works only when it's in the mood. I don't want to have any of it fixed. I hear it's quite expensive to have the electrical system worked on and I'm not that concerned with spending an exorbitant amount of money on I car I don't like. I just want a new one. However, I can't afford to get rid of this one. I owe more than it's worth, which I hate. I have about a year and half left until it's paid off.
So, I'm stuck with this car and I obsess about getting rid of it. Probably unhealthy. Stressing over something I can't fix or change. I should just keep the car, wait until it's paid off and then worry about getting rid of it and getting something I love. I don't know if I can do that, but I'm going to try. My car is a means of transportation. It gets decent gas mileage for my commute and for the most part, it runs properly. It's not a reflection of me by any means. Cars don't define a person. The only thing you can tell about me from my car is the place I work. Otherwise, there are no signs of who I am. Well, except maybe the fact that I wish I made more money. But, even that isn't a given.
With that, I'm not going to let my car stress me out anymore. I'll stick it out until it's paid off, if I have to. That's not to say that if I come across something too good to pass up I won't take it. I will definitely take it, but I won't try to seek it out. I think that sounds like a better way to approach this. But, it's going to be really, really hard to do that.